Ask the five year old child.

nocturnal_tick · #1 02-13-2004, 02:15 AM

We all know that children can give a unique insight into this world so now is your chance to ask Life's big questions to be answered by my five year old brother.

So forget Cecil. Here's the answer to all your questions.

Extraneous · #2 02-13-2004, 02:26 AM

Why is the goldfish upside-down?

At the top of the bowl?

Eleusis · #3 02-13-2004, 02:27 AM

Do you like candy?

Broken Doll · #4 02-13-2004, 02:27 AM

What is the meaning of life?

nocturnal_tick · #5 02-13-2004, 02:30 AM

Quote:

It's because he is resting and sleeping on his back so he can be resting.

I'm sorry guys but the lil'one just left for school so he'll be available for your questions in about 7 hours.

Lobsang · #6 02-13-2004, 03:07 AM

When he's back, I'd like to ask him...

On a 4 terabit ADP line with multi-zap encryption how do I go about filtering the cloned infra-electron field without side-clocking the proton matrix?

ageless6 · #7 02-13-2004, 05:07 AM

First of all,I think our oracle should have a name,even if it's a screen name like "LITTLE BIG DUDE" or some such. Yeah,why don't you ask him what he wants his name to be?

I'd like to know what he thinks of president Bush.

And at what age are you old?

And where does the light go when it goes out?

And does he think there are too many rules or not enough.

This is fun. What a great idea. I could think of a thousand questions for him.I hope this takes off.

Already in Use · #8 02-13-2004, 06:50 AM

Why is bird poop white?

Lord Ashtar · #9 02-13-2004, 07:15 AM

I can't believe I'm the first to think of this question...

Why?

Dragwyr · #10 02-13-2004, 07:24 AM

If the speed of light is 186 Million miles per second, and the speed of a slug is one inch per hour, how long has Robert Conrad had that battery on his shoulder?

NutWrench · #11 02-13-2004, 07:42 AM

Do cows in other countries Moo in different languages?

Shade · #12 02-13-2004, 07:48 AM

Can you fix my video?

ShibbOleth · #13 02-13-2004, 08:09 AM

I've got a five year old son and I'm going to his kindergarten class's Valentine's Party this morning. So I'll be surrounded by five year olds. I think you can probably be a little more sophisticated in your questions (okay, some of you). I know that he's found some features of WarCraft III that I didn't know existed. Yesterday I told him that his grandfather's birthday is the 22nd, and did he know how old he'd be? "Umm, sixty-eight?", no, he's sixty-eight now, he'll be sixty-nine.

Maybe I'll run some of your questions by him too and see if we get the same answers.

Fern Forest · #14 02-13-2004, 08:13 AM

Why do dogs hate cats?
Why do cats hate mice?
Who do mice hate?

Bruce_Daddy · #15 02-13-2004, 08:21 AM

Who's going to win the Daytona 500?

notquitekarpov · #16 02-13-2004, 08:27 AM

What's brown and sticky?

...just checking if five-year old's senses of humour are changing!

VunderBob · #17 02-13-2004, 09:15 AM

Are we there yet?

IrreverentTone · #18 02-13-2004, 09:23 AM

Who is the prettiest girl in the world?

twickster · #19 02-13-2004, 09:55 AM

I'll serve as control here, and ask the same question I asked the oracle:

Paper or plastic?

nocturnal_tick · #20 02-13-2004, 10:12 AM

littlebigdude is now back for the night.

Quote:

originally posted by Eleusis
Do you like candy?

No, because I don't like candy (go figure)

Quote:

originally posted by Broken Doll
What is the meaning of life?

When you have a family and you haven't died before you are a family.

Quote:

originally posted by Lobsang
On a 4 terabit ADP line with multi-zap encryption how do I go about filtering the cloned infra-electron field without side-clocking the proton matrix?

If you go underground to get there easily you won't get hurt. Get a bag of water as well.

Quote:

originally posted by ageless6
I'd like to know what he thinks of president Bush.

And at what age are you old?

And where does the light go when it goes out?

And does he think there are too many rules or not enough.

I think he's good because he tidies up his house better than anyone else.

Into the van and then when they can't use it any more they buy some more.

Too many rules because there are too many questions.

Quote:

originally posted by Already in Use
Why is bird poop white?

Because if it's white it doesn't smell. White is not smelly because it is bright.

Quote:

originally posted by Lord Ashtar
Why?

Because you want to trick us.

Quote:

originally posted by Dragwyr
If the speed of light is 186 Million miles per second, and the speed of a slug is one inch per hour, how long has Robert Conrad had that battery on his shoulder?

A hundred days.

Quote:

originally posted by NutWrench
Do cows in other countries Moo in different languages?

No. Because.

nocturnal_tick · #21 02-13-2004, 10:25 AM

Quote:

originally posted by Shade
Can you fix my video?

Yes. By winding that bit of the thing that goes round, with your finger.

Quote:

originally posted by Fern Forest
Why do dogs hate cats?
Why do cats hate mice?
Who do mice hate?

Because cats stink and mice stink more than cats. Mice hate rats because they stink even more than mice.

Quote:

originally posted by Bruce_Daddy
Who's going to win the Daytona 500?

littlebigdude

Quote:

originally posted by notquitekarpov
What's brown and sticky?

A brown lollipop is sticky because when you touch the top it sticks.

Quote:

originally posted by Vunderbob
Are we there yet?

No, but we're nearly there.

Quote:

originally posted by IrreverantTone
Who is the prettiest girl in the world?

Mum (aaahhhhh

)

Quote:

originally posted by twickster
Paper or plastic?

Plastic, because plastic is stronger than paper.

VunderBob · #22 02-13-2004, 11:16 AM

Are we there yet?

AV8R · #23 02-13-2004, 11:47 AM

How big is the earth?

How fast can your Dad's car go?

Who is God?

What is electricity?

What's the best TV show in the world?

What makes an airplane fly?

What would be the funnest job to have?

What does nocturnal_tick do all day?

Bruce_Daddy · #24 02-13-2004, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nocturnal_tick

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bruce_Daddy

Who's going to win the Daytona 500?

littlebigdude

Ha! He didn't even qualify!

Duke · #25 02-13-2004, 12:21 PM

At what age do you consider somebody to be "an old person"? (Or, "How old is an 'old person'?")

What's good about being five years old as opposed to being four? What are you looking forward to about turning six?

ShibbOleth · #26 02-13-2004, 12:30 PM

So, I'm back from the Kindergarten Valentine's party. There were two girls there (a child in the class and her younger sister) with very unusual names:

Tapanga and Trinity. Here's my question for the five year old kid: where did these names come from?

Hint: The links are hints.

nocturnal_tick · #27 02-13-2004, 01:09 PM

Quote:

originally posted by vunderbob
Are we there yet?

littlebigone says that he told you once already.

Quote:

originally posted by AV8R
How big is the earth?

How fast can your Dad's car go?

Who is God?

What is electricity?

What's the best TV show in the world?

What makes an airplane fly?

What would be the funnest job to have?

What does nocturnal_tick do all day?

The world is 100% big.
Dad's car only goes a little bit fast.
God is someone who isn't a man, but is invisible.
Electricity is something made of glass and sunlight.
The best show in the world is Dora the Explorer.
The jet gives them air and it helps them fly.
Banging with a banana is the funniest job.
nocturnal_tick sits and plays on the computer, ALL DAY!

Quote:

originally posted by Duke
At what age do you consider somebody to be "an old person"? (Or, "How old is an 'old person'?")

What's good about being five years old as opposed to being four? What are you looking forward to about turning six?

You are old when you are 0 because from then you just get older. When you are five you are older than four, and when you are six you are older than five.

Quote:

originally posted by ShibbOleth
Tapanga and Trinity. Here's my question for the five year old kid: where did these names come from?

Regardless of the links, littlebigone says that God made those names because it was quicker than making them in the shop.

Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor · #28 02-13-2004, 01:19 PM

Is your big brother, nocturnal_tick goofy?

Is traveling around the world by being shot out of a cannon a good idea?

ShibbOleth · #29 02-13-2004, 02:51 PM

Q: Why is the goldfish upside-down?
A: Because... because... because... I don't know.

Q: At the top of the bowl?
A: Hmmm. Because... because... I'm going (went to give Mama a hug)

Q: Do you like candy?
A: Yes.

Q: What is the meaning of life?
A: I don't know.

Q: On a 4 terabit ADP line with multi-zap encryption how do I go about filtering the cloned infra-electron field without side-clocking the proton matrix?
A: I don't know what that means.

Q: What do you think of president Bush.
A: I don't know who he is.

Q: At what age are you old?
A: 80.

Q: Where does the light go when it goes out?
A: Not sure.

Q: Do you think there are too many rules or not enough.
A: Too many rules.

Q: Why is bird poop white?
A: I don't know.

Q:If the speed of light is 186 Million miles per second, and the speed of a slug is one inch per hour, how long has Robert Conrad had that battery on his shoulder?
I don't know who you're talking about.

Q: Why?
A: That doesn't make any sense.

Q: Do cows in other countries "moo" in other languages?
A: No.

Q: Can you fix my video?
A: No!

Q: Why do dogs hate cats?
A: Because they have fleas.

Q: Why do cats hate mice?
A: Because they're always bothering them.

Q: Who do mice hate?
A: Hmm. ::scratches head:: um, people.

Q: Who's going to win the Daytona 500?
A: Um, I don't know.

Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: Chocolate!

Q: Are we there yet?
A: I don't know what you're talking about.

Q: Who is the prettiest girl in the world?
A: Hmmm, hmmm... I don't know.

Q: How big is the earth?
A: Huge.

Q: How fast can your Dad's car go?
A: 30 miles, wait, not sure.

Q: Who is God?
A: Uh, uh, I don't know. He's up in Heaven.

Q: What is electricity?
A: Light.

Q: What's the best TV show in the world?
A: My favorite show is... hmmm... Yu-Gi-Oh.

Q: What makes an airplane fly?
A: It's fuel.

Q: What would be the funnest job to have?
A: Work in a candy store.

Q: What does nocturnal_tick do all day?
A: Uh, I don't know. And I don't know what you're talking about.

VunderBob · #30 02-13-2004, 03:30 PM

Are we there yet?

Smacked hard by my wife...

OK, I get the hint.

How about, Bugs Bunny or the Road Runner?

VunderBob · #31 02-13-2004, 03:32 PM

And another question I just thought of:

What's the difference between boys and girls?

ageless6 · #32 02-13-2004, 04:20 PM

Dear LittleBigDude:

Can you think of any questions you don't know the answer to? If yes,can we have an example?

Are big brothers good for anything,and if so,what?

Would you rather be a whale or a tiger?

Now that you're five years old,can you think of anything you'd like to go back and do differently?

Now that you're famous on the internet,has it changed you?

I want to start a LittleBigDude fan club. Can I please,please,please,pretty please,have your permission? I think you are super groovy!

Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor · #33 02-19-2004, 07:19 PM

What, no answers?

AvariceAngel · #34 02-19-2004, 11:04 PM

What is your favorite animal?

ageless6 · #35 02-20-2004, 01:28 AM

CALLING ALL CARS,CALLING ALL CARS:

Be on the lookout for nocturnal~tick and his brother LittleBigDude aka "The Oracle."

They are known thread abandoners and have simply disappeared from this thread,taking the fervent questions of some now abject dopers with them. It is thought they may try to sell these questions to the Washington press corp to ask and confuse the president. For instance,"Which do you like better,Bugs Bunny or the Roadrunner?" would certainly lead to a presidential breakdown.

nocturnal~tick,do yourself a favor.Return to this thread with answers to the questions and all will be forgiven.

ageless6 · #36 02-20-2004, 01:36 AM

Ah, in an emergency,that can also be spelled press CORPS if you're so inclined.

nocturnal_tick · #37 02-20-2004, 05:48 AM

Sorry about this guys but littlebigdude is a very busy child. I mean just today he went to the farm

. Apart from that he's getting a little restless but I promise you the questions will be answered tonight.

Evil Captor · #38 02-20-2004, 06:40 AM

Do you like cartoons better than live action and if so, why?

nocturnal_tick · #39 02-20-2004, 06:45 AM

Man I'm stupid. Pushed send instead of preview. Anyway when the Mods come please ONLY DELETE THE ONE ABOVE.

Thank You

Anyway....

Quote:

originally posted by Vunderbob

How about, Bugs Bunny or the Road Runner?

What's the difference between boys and girls?

Road Runner because he can climb trees better

Girls have long hair.

Quote:

originally posted by ageless6

Can you think of any questions you don't know the answer to? If yes,can we have an example?

Are big brothers good for anything,and if so,what?

Would you rather be a whale or a tiger?

Now that you're five years old,can you think of anything you'd like to go back and do differently?

Now that you're famous on the internet,has it changed you?

I want to start a LittleBigDude fan club. Can I please,please,please,pretty please,have your permission? I think you are super groovy!

No.

He lets me play on his computer games.

A tiger.

If I was a baby I would dribble some more. [laughs]

I'm famous?

You can open one but you can't have permission. (To be honest I don't think he knows what your talking about.)

Quote:

originally posted by AvericeAngel

What is your favorite animal?

A lion and a tiger. (perhaps a Liger)

Quote:

originally posted by Evil Captor

Do you like cartoons better than live action and if so, why?

Yes, because anything else is boring!