I've had it. All I want is a job.

The BBQ Pit
1

So I go to a place that’s hiring security guards. I go through all the stuff about background checks, work history, convictions, yadda yadda yadda, same stuff everybody does, but then they do something different. Maybe not so different anymore, but since I’ve had exactly three jobs in the past 8 years I really don’t know what the norm is, but anyway, what they present me with is an a questionnaire with 83 questions. It was called the Stanton test or something similar to that. All of the questions are about stealing and theft.

They fall into three noticeable categories:

  1. Have you ever stolen? The variations, widely separated, are “What have you stolen?” and the like, thinly re-worded versions of the same question.

  2. Is stealing acceptable? Again, the variations on that question are quirky attempts to get you to change your answer.

  3. Would you dime your friends out if you caught them stealing?, and multiple variations thereof.

Interspersed with all of that are general honesty questions, such as “Have you ever lied?”, all of which basically require you to admit that yes, you have lied before and yes, I’m a scum sucking pig, and no, you shouldn’t hire me because the adimssion of lying in the past negates all of the results of this test, even though anyone who says that they never lied is a liar.

I did a test like this in an online application. One of the questions they asked was “Have you ever used physical force in a previous job?”, which I answered truthfully in the affirmative. I was immediately told that I could not be considered for the job. Of course, they couldn’t know from that answer that I had broken up a fight in the dining room of the restaurant I was working at, could they? Nope, and they didn’t care. They decided I was unworthy on the basis of a single yes or no question.

All I want is a job. That’s it. I am trusted enough to fly in a combat aircraft, operate millions of dollars worth of equipment, and have a secret clearance, but I’m not trusted to hold a miserable $7.50 an hour job that any jerk could do because some scientist formulated some bullshit questionnaire that determines guilt or trust based on simple yes or no answers. In the meantime I have exactly enough money to make it to the beginning of next month before it goes completely dry and my wife and son are utterly fucked, because for whatever reason unemployment has not been forthcoming with any assistance and will not explain why, even though it’s been five weeks since I first filed.

In addition, the jobs I have applied for either haven’t called me or returned any calls and the ones that have pay for shit and would be disastrous for my family economically because they’re paying for shit and are far away and unaccomodating to my necessity of getting a second job since they’re nickel-and-diming their employees to death, oh and at the same time fucking me completely for unemployment. And I can’t depend on my family because I literally begged my uncle for a job (the word “desperate” was used) and he basically ignored me, as evidenced by the fact that he never called me back.

I give the fuck up. I’m done. Oh, wait, my wife and son have to eat. I can’t give up. Fuck this. Someone shoot me so my family gets the insurance. I’m worth more dead than alive.

2

Call your representative in the state legislature, and tell him or her the problems you are having with getting your unemployment. They really will look into it, and a lot of times, all that is needed is for an agency to know that someone higher up in the government in checking on things.
I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time with the job search. :frowning:

3

Dude,

Without the wife and son part, I am so with you.

The employment climate in this country sucks at the moment.

Badly.

:mad:

4

My sympathies Airman.

I’m in pretty much the same boat. They let go my whole department a couple of months ago, and the job search isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Just keep hitting the pavement. And forget about those questionaires. Answer as they want you to answer, that your wife and kid eat is much more important.

Honestly, whoever thought those questionaires up is a damnable moron.

5

That’s the game, though. How do they want you to answer? If you say that you never lied, then you’re obviously lying. If you say that you have then you’re untrustowrthy. Catch-22, ice cream has no bones.

Right now I’d scrub toilets for minimum wage of they could guarantee me 20 hours a day doing it. I’ve been in situations where I worked 24 hours a day for a week straight, where I’ve literally puked from being so tired. The only thing that matters to me is Robin and Aaron. If I have to work myself into the hospital to make things good for them I’ll do it. I don’t give two shits about myself anymore. I’m just a means of survival for two people far more important to me than I am.

6

And here I was complaining on getting just temporary employment!

I am really sorry to hear your job situation has not improved Airman. Over here I also struggle to make ends met, I agree about those tests, for a previous job, I did pass them, still they gave me a drug test… :rolleyes:

There is hope that I will get hired full time doing some computer work with a local airline; I expect this job situation -for all- will improve albeit just a little.

What is important is to not despair and to hang in there! And do use cattle prods with the unemployment office. Besides what liirogue said, this could be a good time to go to the local media; I bet they will be interested in the tale of a service man that was not given, even a good reason for a delay on his unemployment aid.

7

I second liirogue’s suggestion of calling your state rep in the legislature about your unemployment benefits. I’m a caseworker for an Assemblymember and work closely with someone at the unemployment office who’s sole purpose there is to work with people such as myself in order to get unemployment benefits moving for constituents as well as other problems they may be experiencing with state offices.

A lot of people don’t realize that resource is available to them and fail to utilize it. Trust me, it works. A lot of times state agencies are so backed up that it takes a call from me to get things moving. In many cases it’s taken care of within the day.

Look in your phone book in the government section, find your Assemblymember and call their local district office.

They’re there to help you.

8

Airman, have you heard back from the place you took the test yet? Often, they’re only looking to weed out the worst. Everybody would have to answer “yes” to “Have you ever lied?” One time I was applying for a job at a liquor store in Texas, and had to take a lie detector. The usual nonsense about stealing and so on, but after the test the guy mentioned that they weren’t worried about the people who take a candy bar now and then, they just wanted to weed out the ones who were going to walk out with the cash drawer some night.

I do agree the tests are bullshit.

9

Seems a position just opened up here.

Good luck job hunting, sir.

10

Right now I’d scrub toilets for minimum wage of they could guarantee me 20 hours a day doing it. I’ve been in situations where I worked 24 hours a day for a week straight, where I’ve literally puked from being so tired. The only thing that matters to me is Robin and Aaron.

What we have here, people, is what we in WV call a real man.

Hang in there, Airman!!

11

I work for a company that provides online assessments like the ones you’ve described. If you’re interested, I could try to explain some of the psychological justifications for the questions.

Sorry about the job troubles – I really do hope things work out for you.

12

Airman Doors, I’m so sorry to hear that you’re having such a difficult time finding employment.

Have you tried getting a job with the Federal Government? Being a military member, I’m sure you know all about how to go to USAJOBS on the OPM website. If you don’t, just go to opm.gov and it will take you to USAJOBS. It’s tough even in the civil service arena, but if you can at least get your foot in the door, you can move on up.

I really hope things pick up for you. It just seems so wrong that our service members are having such a tough time getting jobs.

Taters

13

Been there, had that done to me.

If you’re in a pretty much major urban setting, and you have a day open without any good prospects, go to a office temp kind of place. OfficeTeam and ProStaff are two that I get some…well, decent work from. Pay runs about $10-12 an hour, which beats security work. Especially if you have any familiarity with software, esp. MS Office like Word, Access or Excel. If you have access to a computer, go through the tutorials, even if its an older version, Office don’t change that much. The two I mentioned test for that and even a respectable score can be worth a couple-three bucks more an hour. And the assignments tend to be longer.

Do NOT let them get away with fucking with your unemployment! They pull this crap all the time, and it almost never works. If you got a beef, make it! The assholes don’t always win.

14

Have you considered the post office.Airman Doors, USAF? The money is good. Even when their hiring is frozen, there are exceptions for ex-servicemen. Also, for people who were in the military, that time served counts in terms of where you fit on the pay schedule. What that means is you would be payed and get benifits as if you had been at the post office for the time you served. I think it also adds to time served for retirement too but I am not posative on that. I was not a good fit for the quazi military atmosphere of the post office, but it works well for some people.

15

I’m sorry, I wouldn’t normally hug another man, but {{{Airman}}}. Yeah, employers really, really, suck. Do consider answering honestly, not truthfully (ie. if their question is stupid, answer what they obviously meant to ask) - but I’m not really the guy to advise on that. Just, you deserve a good job. Good luck.

16

Offer’s still open.

17

Keep your head up and your standards low.

It gets better.

18

This is just intended as a question, not a suggestion as I don’t know about the market, but what about civilian flight? The few commerical pilots I know used to be military pilots.

19

Well, I, for one, would be interested.

I applied for a job several months ago. It was perfect for me. I felt I was a “good fit” on many levels, but am convinced that I didn’t get the job because of this type of test.

It was bizarre. As Airman Doors explained, it was long, drawn out and repetitive. A representative question went something like, "How much in cash/currency have you stolen from a previous employer in one instance?

a) Zero
b) Less than $10.00
c) Between $10.01 and $100.00
d) More than $100.00

These questions went on and on for several pages. It occured to me afterwards that my answering in the negative on just about all these questions caused me to “fail” the test, which is why I wasn’t hired. The thing is, I answered these questions as honestly as I could have. I got the impression that the testmakers felt that “everyone” steals money from an employer at least once. You must have as well. Ergo, you must be lying, and therefore are dishonest (they referred to this as an honesty test).

There were other questions about the “unauthorized” taking of company property, etc. And as Airman mentioned, questions about how I would handle certain situations, such as:

If an employee were to be caught using marijuana on company property, what should happen to this individual?

a) Verbal reprimand
b) Written reprimand
c) Termination from employment
d) Get arrested

In this particular case, I would have answered c). I’m convinced that this was the “wrong” answer.

What’s the deal with this test?

20

Airman Hang tough. Be creative.

Have you considered a temporary gig as a process server or a taxi driver? In the U.S., being a process server is essentially a “free lance” job and not very difficult to get as you’re paid by the “delivery.” It’s not very pleasant, but you can work pretty much as long and hard as you like and it probably pays better than being a security guard. It’s certainly more, ahh, interesting.