Go ahead … have at it. You know you want to.
OK, let’s get the basic misspellings out of the way:
Pocatello, not Pocatella
Snicket, not Snickett
panchromatic should not have a hyphen … Why do you want a woman who is “sensitive to all colors,” as I discovered is the definition of panchromatic? Are you going to flake off her dead skin cells for use as film?
and “compnay” is obviously a typo, as is “sometone” when you obviously meant “someone” and “Unfortuante” in the book title
I really never liked the "I’ve been told … " style of listing personal characteristics. I always figured it was stronger to just say, "I have … " or "I am … " And the last line of the “About me and who I’d like to date” seems to have been pulled from the most fiendish depths of personal adspeak.
Seems fairly nifty, otherwise!
Get a picture where you’re smiling. It’ll work.
You say “probably not” to the question about wanting more kids, but you say “definitely” to your potential date wanting kids. Seems like a paradox that could set you up for some interesting arguments.
(I love my kids but three is enough. :eek: )
Hope you find a terrific woman. I’ve been lurking here for quite a while so I know you deserve one.
Hmm, you have a charming light-hearted tone going, which is good, but I think you should add more details about yourself to the “About me and who I’d like to date” thing. For example, you might want to talk more about things like how old your kids are, since it’s different to date someone who is a parent of a toddler than it is to date a parent of a teen. You might also want to talk more about what qualities are especially important to you in a potential date - for example, is it really, really important that she has blue eyes, or is that just a preference?
Good luck.
Euty, you were born on Yokusuka? So was I, about 10 years after you! Cool! I’ve only known one other person who was born there, and he was born on the same day as me, only 2 years earlier.
When asked about pets, you said “No answer” I can’t imagine why you’d want to keep it a secret.
I think you are overdoing it a bit with the self-deprecation, e.g. “Might tell you more about why personality than you already know” I am a man, so I’m not sure, but I think that women generally don’t find this appealing in a potential boyfriend.
Best of luck
One… Match.Com is a silly venue… (I’m starting to feel like I’m pimping here since I just mentioned this in Jay-C’s thread) … go browse on nerve.com, see if the ladies you find there fit with what you’re looking for. Doper people would “fit in” better with the people I see on Nerve.com than those I see on Match.com or any other site I’ve been on.
Two… Euty, you can write, you can write really well why are you limiting your about me section to such a short and passionless paragraph?
Third… your second picture is better than your first because it’s got better lighting and it actually looks like you’re smiling. well, sort of. The current first photo impression is badly lit and it’s not artsy/fartsy badly lit, it’s “someone took this picture of me at a gathering and I thought I would use it here” badly lit.
Take pictures for the purpose of posting them in a personals ad.
What exactly is a sensual stroll??? I can see describing someone else’s stroll as sensual (i.e I watched her sensually stroll toward me) but two people walking together take a romantic stroll.
No Euty… just No.
Except for the reference to Spongebob, this is far too generic:
.
I agree that there is a bit too much self-deprecation (“that should scare a lot of you off,” etc.).
Good suggestions, all. Thanks a lot … I’ll be mulling all of this over.
Ive done personal ad thing.
I gets zero replies.
Ive been at lavalife, yahoo, match, love, friendfinder and adult friendfinder, and e-instantfamily-just-add-dad-harmony.
Maybe it is because I am like the comic book guy. At least grannie lets me live upstairs.
Oh hehe forgot to put the critique in ya.
Ya the other guy was right get youself a smile-ly picture.
There isnt anything wrong with the disney thing on the side thing.
Lots of peoples like disney things.
Eschew the ‘strange’, no need to label yourself is there? Strange are the people who appear on Jerry Springer, get into fights, take their clothes off, then fight somemore.
Wow im incoherant.
Bob, the lack of responses is really not uncommon with men’s personals from what I’ve seen. It seems to me that most women let the men come to them rather than taking the first step, since so many men take the “shot gun” approach of writing to women on dating sites.
Overall, it’s not bad but the “I can be a very passionate lover” thing, so early in the profile, kind of gives the impression that you’re looking for a roll in the hay.
Which you are, of course, and so is everyone else on Match.com. IMHO, though, your average woman isn’t interested in hearing about it when first “meeting” you online. Let her find out for herself, later on, what a tiger you are in the sack 
In my experience guys who talk about how great they are in bed are usually the 2 minute wonders. The really dynamite ones are the ones who don’t talk about it much and then end up blowing your mind when it does happen. It’s like they carry around some big secret Mom always told me “you gotta watch out for the quiet ones.”
Not that I’m accusing you of being a 2 minute wonder, of course. Writing profiles is hard Just some food for thought.
You’re kind of picky about your potential date’s hair and eye color. Some of us non darkhaired, blue eyed girls are damn cute!
Posting without reading so as not to be influenced by the other posters, sorry if this has been said. These are just my first impressions.
Age you are interested in dating, goes down a lot lower than it goes up. Don’t know if it would bother people, but I made note of it.
“Thank God they let you come back later and edit this.”
I would lose that sentance, makes you sound sort of scheming and false, “well, they didn’t like when I said I liked dogs, let’s see how it goes if I say cats”.
Actually, now that I have read that whole paragraph I would mebbe just change it, it sounds really scattered. Sorry, but I am being blunt. On the other hand I am probably the last person you should be asking 
Your interests section is really good. Sounds varied, but with a clear geek slant (in a good way!!). I would reconsider the use of the word “shriveling”. I know you are talking about your movie collection, but find another word
Is “no answer” the same as none? I don’t use match.com so I don’t know if other users understand it as none, of if it sounds incomplete/evasive.
Hehehe, fleas is funny!
You say you probably don’t want kids, but your date should “definitely”?
Dunno if you are looking also for comments on your photos, but I would probably go with the other photo, the first one looks a little intense. On the other hand the second one is further away, but a better shot (outdoors, bright, smile etc).
Good luck with your ad Going to load up the thread now and have a read.
Just occurred to me that you probably mean that you don’t want more kids, but your prospective date should be accepting of the fact that you have kids in your life.
Since other people have already talked about the photos, I would really second the suggestion to take photos specifically for this. Put on your next-nicest shirt (the best one is for the date) give the tache a trim and have somone take a roll of photos of you outside, some close up some a little further away. Out of a roll of 24 you should get one or two really nice ones. Will still look fairly candid and natural though.
Okay … I’ve fixed the misspelling and tweaked some other stuff. (The corrections won’t show up for a day or so, though.) I suppose I should have my daughter take a few new pictures since I don’t have the mustache anymore. So we’ll see what happens.
And Abby? Three minutes. 