Unconventional Online Personal Ad... should I?

Here’s the situation: I’ve had a personal ad up on match.com for many moons, and it’s never gotten a very large number of responses. So I’ve come up with a bizarre plan: I happen to have two very good tickets to a showing of Les Miz in San Jose in a little over a month. I was thinking of changing my match.com ad, at least temporarily, to say something like:

“I have an extra ticket to go see Les Miz on (date). I realize this is an odd ad, but… does anyone out there want to go with me? If so, email me and tell me about yourself”.
I figure that (a) I have nothing to lose, because if worse comes to worse, I can change it back after the show, and (b) the novelty value of it might grab someone’s attention.

What do you, particularly you ladies, think? Might you respond to such an ad, at least out of curiosity?

And does anyone have advice as to what my tone should be in the ad? Should I just be straight forward and deadpan? Should I be ironically self-aware, ie, “I realize this probably won’t work, but I figure, what do I have to lose”? Should I point out that some straight men actually do like showtunes? Should I make sure to point out that by responding, all a woman is doing is starting an email dialogue, not giving me a guarantee that she wants to attend said event, sight unseen?

Thanks for your advice…
(One other thing: the picture that is up with my ad shows me with a little cousin hanging onto my back. I use it because it’s a rare picture of me smiling that doesn’t look silly, plus it illustrates that I love kids. But I wonder if women might assume that the cousin is actually my son, and lose interest before noticing “children: none” in the ad?)

I might respond if I wanted to see “Le Miz.” In your proposed rewrite:

I’d leave out the “I realize this is an odd ad, but…” part and just post it straightforwardly.

Re: The picture of the cousin: say something in your writeup about it: what you said here (“it’s a rare picture of me smiling that doesn’t look silly”) seems fine, we all have had problems picking good pictures of ourselves for these things, and women will relate to that.

BTW: MadScientistMatt got some feedback from all us yenta dopers on his ad with, apparently, some success – if you post a link, I’m sure you’d get some comments, and they might even be helpful. :wink:

Go for it. But, unless the kid’s going on the date with you as chaperon, post a picture of just you.

Personally I don’t think it is a good idea. It kind of makes you look like you are desperate to find someone to go to this show with. Not to say that you are Max but that is my opinion. Also saying something like - “I realize this probably won’t work, but I figure, what do I have to lose”? - sounds to me rather negative. You are assuming already that nobody will respond to your ad, so if that is the case then why bother. Be more assertive and sure of yourself. As for the picture, if a woman was skimming through a bunch of ads and happens to see yours with a child, she will probably automically assume that the kid is yours. I recommend you take a new photo of yourself. It is worth it if you are seriously putting yourself out there.
Take care and lots of luck to you :slight_smile:

Start with a quote from the show… “A heart full of love… a heart full of you…” or “To love another person is to see the face of God”… then say you’e got an extra ticket for the show on such and such a date, and see what baits.

If you aren’t getting many replies, why not?

On the other hand, why not post your current ad and let us critique it? I met Mrs. RickJay through online personal ads.

Totally go for it dude. Tom Leykis on the radio was talking about a personal he saw-it went kinda like this: hi ladies, i have two tickets to the superbowl, good seats-but i have noone to go with. u know how hard tickets are to come by this late…

NOW, this guy had an interesting clause tacked onto his ad: the woman who chose to go to the superbowl must have sex with him! he would have sex with her on saturday, then give her the ticket on sunday.

tom leykis then took calls asking if women would do it. guess what?- a good number said they would do it. they said they would go meet an absolute stranger, have sex with him and then go to the superbowl! they claimed it was kind of exciting and thrilling to do something that wild and dangerous-the guy could be a fuckin’ wacko or somethin, right?

so let’s put this in perspective: u have tix to le miz which is going off in a little while, right?-yet u do not want sex. u only want a companion for the night, right? i think u have an excellent shot of finding a woman to hang with u, no prob.

go for it dude-and don’t be negative, be assertive. the guy with the superbowl tix was rather authoritative, if i recall, despite his audacious proposal.

whatever, u must tell us what happens!!

Oh post a link, please!! I’d love to see your ad! After MadScientistMatt’s thread, I’ve started to take a real interest in the world of online personals.

jesseboy: Come, now, young man! You’ve been a member here long enough to know that “u” is not and acceptable substitute for “you.” And I’m sure you do know how to capitalize properly. Please do so. Your post was interesting–I would have rather enjoyed reading it if I didn’t have to labor to translate it into English.

OK, there seems to be a consensus on three things, so far. (And when dopers agree, they must be right).

(1) I should be assertive and not insecure about it, if I go for it, which seems like the thing to do

(2) I should get a photo with no little kid in it. Although darn it, that photo is SO CUTE!

(3) People want a link to my ad so they can critique it. Here goes:
Please Be Kind
Oh, and thanks for all your feedback.

MaxTheVool, I can’t believe that you haven’t had any luck! You seem like a great guy.

If I were you, I would be VERY careful about offering a ticket to a popular show. While it just might work, you will probably have to wade through a lot of women who just want to see the show, without necessarily being interested in you. You COULD add some kind of clause- Like “Must be at least somewhat interested in me as well.”

If you’re only looking for a companion for the show and a possible friend, I’d go for it.

As for the pic, I think it’s a good one. You could keep it, then put something in your ad about how much you enjoy spending time with your little cousin, who is in the picture. Any girl/woman who reads the add will pick up on that. You don’t want someone who just looks at the pictures anyway. They’re only after looks, without caring who you are.

GOOD LUCK!:slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile:

Not for nothing, in my experience the guys ads get far fewer responses than the girls ads. One girl I went to dinner with told me that her profile (VERY generic) with no picture got dozens of responses in the first few days. My ad, with a nice picture (really!) and some info about me averages 1-2 responses a month, and most of those responses are not women I’m interested in. A tip, update your profile occasionally, it puts you back on the top of searches.

I think it’s a great idea, you happened upon a couple of tickets, and are looking for a date. Be positive about it, don’t be desperate or self deprecating. I don’t know that I’d follow hyperjes’s advice on asking that your companion being “interested in you”. I would just look at it as a date for the show, no implication of future romance.

Of course, you can pick and choose among the responses (let’s be positive about this!) to find a girl that you think would be compatible with you, and see where it goes.

The link didn’t work for me – what’s your username on that site?

Link didn’t work for me either.

I cannot see!

Try this.

[geek mode on]
(Max, I think you have to log out and find your profile to get a link we can use… otherwise, the url has lots of cookie information in it. We click on it, and match.com thinks we’re you trying to reload the page after it’s timed out. I found your profile by deleting everything in your link between “showthread.asp” and “UserID=…”)
[/geek mode off]

er, thats ‘showprofile’, I mean.

Oo! I’d be all over you like a bad fur coat! Your ad was funny and made me scratch my head a few times until I got the joke. Very intriguing. I would consider changing the photo–not because of the kid (although I would explain who he is in the text) but because it’s kind of hard to see what you look like. I like what I can see, but I’d wonder if you were trying to hide something.

Listen, if you’re not getting responses to your ad, try another site. As I reported in the other thread, I liked what I found at Nerve.com better than what I found at Match.com.

I dunno if you should put in the Les Mis thing–I fear it would attract people who wanted to see the show and not you. But then again, you can choose who you want to take, or not take anyone. So, I guess it’s worth a try.

I agree that you should lose the picture with the cousin. I can barely see you in it; it’s a much better picture of the little guy than yourself.

As a woman’s voice here…if I were looking for someone, I think it would be a cool thing to go to Les Mis (not Le Miz grin). I enjoy musicals, and it says something about you that you’re not comforming to that macho stereotype that men don’t enjoy musicals. It’s not any weirder than going to the movies or dinner, it’s just a different venue.

I’d agree with other posters not to be self-deprecating - in small doses, it can be healthy, but on a personal it can really shoot down your options, saying you have no confidence in yourself. I think the photo is a cool picture as well, if you have none of just yourself that would be good.

And don’t say you realize that it might not work, because then again it MIGHT, and it makes you sound like you think it won’t.

So all in all, go for it! Just be straightforward. It’s just a date after all, it’s not like she’s agreeing to marry you or anything.

Nice profile – if I were 20 years younger and 3000 miles closer, I’d answer it.

Agree on the pic – your cousin definitely dominates it. Does that site allow multiple pix? You could use it as a backup. If you need a picture taken, get a couple of friends to help – one to talk to you and tell you jokes, the other to shoot a shitload of pix until you forget the photographer is there – you should get one or two of you looking relaxed and friendly.

Liked your closing with the “if you can ID…” (only one I had was Ode to Joy, oh well) – it’s a nice hook for someone to respond.