So I was reading this Pit thread, about online dating nightmares, and I realized, “hey, I don’t have any horrific online dating stories to tell.”
So maybe I ought to go out and get some.
However, since I’m going in with my eyes wide open, I want my conscience clean, too. I want to be the first person to be totally honest about myself and the shortcomings I would bring to any relationship. That way, when I sift through the ashes of my apartment afterward, I’ll be able to say that I told the truth.
Okay, so I’ve got the ethics thing settled. Oh, yeah, and I don’t want to spend any money, except when I actually go on a date, because [honesty chime]I’m cheap[/honesty chime].
Now, how do I do this thing? Can you folks help get me started? I promise I’ll keep you updated.
If your local newspaper has a website, they may have free personal ads there, as well.
Or you could just go into a random IRC channel and pretend to be an eighteen-year-old girl; I guarantee that you’ll get dozens of offers for dates. Not that I’d know from personal experience, of course.
The first thing to realize is that the ad is like a résumé or a job interview - you can be honest and still make yourself look good or bad. If you say in an interview that your previous boss didn’t like you, they’ll think you’re a whiner. And if you say in your ad that your last girlfriend was a bitch, the same thing happens.
So do you want a girlfriend, or do you want interesting horror stories?
If you ask for something in a specific and straightforward manner, most of your respondants will be the opposite. I was always looking for intelligence and usually got idiots. So if you want interesting stories, tell them you want a sane, intelligent, wholesome woman. That should net you at least one really interesting date.
Put a flattering picture in. Some people won’t respond without a picture.
Yahoo, Excite, Match.com are probably still free (it’s been a while, thank goodness) A little surfing should find others.
I always got one cheater(married man wanting an affair), one fisher(responds to every add, no substance in the response) and one insult every time I placed an ad. And got very few decent guys.
I put an ad on Match.com (just for kicks!) and was surprised to get as many responses as I did. The ad was up for about 2 weeks and I got over 50 responses. I wasn’t interested in most of them so I didn’t bother to reply but I’ve made a few friends through that site. Just a tip… it really helps if you put a picture in your profile.
I haven’t gotten any pornspam replys from Match.com. I’ve gotten tons from Yahoo’s personals though. That might be because I put up a partially nude picture though.
If you decide to do it, definitely put a picture up with your ad. The only bad part to this is it will take anywhere from a couple days to over a week for them to post your picture.
You can always forego the ad and just respond to ads that you like. If you do this, though, always include a picture with your response. Some women won’t even read what you have to say if there isn’t an attachment to the email.
I did mine on AOL, which (as far as these things go) is a pretty good avenue for this stuff. I paid 3-4 bucks a month for use of aol.com, so I didn’t have to suffer their software on my computer. My big brother (who really wants to see me more active with women) went through a ton of ads and responded to ones he thought were decent. He wrote a short, generic letter and sent it to all these women and let me deal with the replies. And yes, you will have to do all the work. Don’t expect women to go trolling through hundreds of male ads. They don’t need to.