Mel Gibson is pitching his movie “The Passion of The Christ” to TV networks, but the networks are concerned no advertisers will want to buy ad time for this intense movie. I think they’re being much too pessimistic. What commercials would work for “The Passion of Th Christ” if it airs on TV later this year? I’d like to use the AFLAC duck, but I can’t think how to work him in.
Quizno’s could put halos on their spongmonkeys.
"I love the Chriiiiiiiiiiist
"He is the Sav-ah-yah
"The Son ah Gaaaaaaahd
“Come try the peppah bar!”
“I’m stuck on Band-Aid
'Cause Band-Aid’s stuck on me!”
Life insurance…because even if you inherit the kingdom of heaven your family is stuck here on earth.
anti depressants.
alka seltzer.
Just no pizza commercials after the whipping scenes.
Bactine and Tylenol for those bad aches and pains.
Here are some ads that would work… The Passion of Christ sponsored by:
America’s USDA Angus Beef Producers - Mmmm, Mmmmm, Beef.
WWE Smackdown - Where the only ones who can bring the smackdown, harder, stronger, and faster than the Romans brought down on the Lord!
Air Israel - See the prettier side of the Holy Land.
Oh my. I heart you so much.
Is Home Depot too obvious? 2x4s, 4x4s, hammers, nails, rope…
This is reminiscent of Marlin Perkins on Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom: “Baby cheetas need security. Your family can have security with Mutual of…”
Hot Dog on a Stick?
Really, I never make these kind of posts, I’m soooo gonna get it…
Timex - it takes a licking, but keeps on ticking!
Kodak - for the times of your life…make it a Kodak moment.
I am so going to hell for this!
Cervaise, that was hilarious!
I know this thread is somewhat in jest, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it ended up being shown without commercials. Wasn’t Schindler’s List shown that way? Or was it just unedited?
Someone would sponsor it, getting a 2 minute commercial at the beginning and the end, and lots of publicity for the fact that they are sponsoring it and the movie’s being shown on TV, unedited and without commercial interruption.
Now back to your regularly scheduled jesting…
That, or Stormy Leather, Forbidden Fruit or anything of the type.
Brawny paper towels – you could have the two gay paper towel guys commenting on the walk up to Calgary – “Ooooh look at all that leather!”
Bounty–the quicker picker upper
Not going anywhere for a while? Have a Snickers.
Two words:
Trojan Man!
[ul]“I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”
[li]That pinata commercial for Nintendo.[/li][li]A commercial for The Life of Brian[/li][/ul]
Southwest Airlines
“Wanna get away?”
I haven’t seen the film, but
If there’s a scene of JC in the garden, it should be followed by an ad for Olive Garden.
Footwashing scene- odor eaters
The scourging scenes- Red Cross urging us all to donate blood.
The last commercial break before the flm ends- “You’ve read of his life” darkness, a spotlight shows a single hand raised in a gesture of blessing, “of his suffering and death” darkness, the hand is palm up, curled fingers obscure the palm. The camera pans so that we can see the palm. A large nail has been driven through it. “And of his miraculous ressurection.” Darkness, the hand is palm up in a gesture of giving. There is circular scar in the palm. “But have you considered the wondrous possibility that more is written? Did Jesus not tell his followers that flocks in a distant land would hear his words? More is written! Jesus’ travels and teachings in North America are recorded in the Book Of Mormon. This message has been brought to you by The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints.”
Anything to do with “adult entertainment” – strip clubs, phone sex, lingerie, gay bondage porn – just to freak out the fundies. 