The Straight Dope

Go Back   Straight Dope Message Board > Main > General Questions

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 04-21-2004, 04:46 AM
Roland Deschain Roland Deschain is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: A "Red" Midwest state.
Posts: 776
Battery operated "fart collectors" could help solve the energy crisis and improve...

oder. These would be worn beneath your underwear and would "suck" the gas (methane?) from any farts. Then, the canisters could be plugged into a "central" unit when full and the gas used to provide energy. I'm not even sure it would smell worse than regular natural gas which has sulfur compounds added to make it smell (in case of leaks). Even if this didn't work for people it could be affixed to farm animals (cows, pigs ect) and could provide and additoinal "income stream" for farmers. In a "related" concept "gas suckers" could be placed within the basins of all public restrooms serving a dual purpose. One they would provide the equivalent of an automatic "courtesy flush" and provide the added benefit of additional gas collection. What's the catch?
Reply With Quote
Advertisements  
  #2  
Old 04-21-2004, 04:51 AM
Mangetout Mangetout is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: England (where it rains)
Posts: 51,033
I'm certain that the energy required to collect and compress the gaseous emission would far outweigh the energy available from combustion of its methane component.
__________________
Cray-con - the bacon-coloured wax crayon!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 04-21-2004, 04:53 AM
Mangetout Mangetout is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: England (where it rains)
Posts: 51,033
At least for the human-portable version, that is; methane collection at sewage plants and farms is probably feasible, but I'm not going to bake a cake in a fart-fuelled oven, I'll tell you that now.
__________________
Cray-con - the bacon-coloured wax crayon!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 04-21-2004, 05:57 AM
jovan jovan is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mangetout
methane collection at sewage plants and farms is probably feasible
There are a number of landfills that already produce electricity from methane produced in the trash. Here's one.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 04-21-2004, 08:43 AM
Kalhoun Kalhoun is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
I just got off the phone with Mr. Kalhoun. We're quitting our jobs. Man! We're gonna be rich!! Rich, I tell ya!
__________________
The poster formerly known as "EchoKitty"
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 04-21-2004, 08:49 AM
Tapioca Dextrin Tapioca Dextrin is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Staring blankly at my GPS
Posts: 11,517
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kalhoun
Man! We're gonna be rich!! Rich, I tell ya!
Can I enquire as to your business plan? Is it along the lines of
  1. Collect fart gas in underpants
  2. ..
  3. Profit
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 04-21-2004, 09:49 AM
Kalhoun Kalhoun is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tapioca Dextrin
Can I enquire as to your business plan? Is it along the lines of
  1. Collect fart gas in underpants
  2. ..
  3. Profit
Oh, yeah! My husband is the King of Farts. He saves them up all night and then scares the cats with the morning release.

So...

1) we funnel it through a tube,
2) into a canister (the power of these farts alone will be its own "compression device."
3) We open up a little "Alternative Propane Shop" and we're in business.
4) Start countin' the greenbacks.

I can tell Lieu wants in on this business proposition!
__________________
The poster formerly known as "EchoKitty"
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 04-21-2004, 12:40 PM
aahala aahala is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
I'm certainly glad to see Roland is thinking outside the box and using his brain(?) power to help solve important world issues.

It's questions like these that have made the $4.95 I paid for membership worthwhile.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 04-21-2004, 01:35 PM
smoke smoke is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kalhoun
Oh, yeah! My husband is the King of Farts. He saves them up all night and then scares the cats with the morning release.

So...

1) we funnel it through a tube,
2) into a canister (the power of these farts alone will be its own "compression device."
3) We open up a little "Alternative Propane Shop" and we're in business.
4) Start countin' the greenbacks.

I can tell Lieu wants in on this business proposition!

Ooh! Maybe I could design custom wraps for the ass-cannisters?
__________________
Happy, thin, numb, and hard!
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 04-21-2004, 01:54 PM
Chastain86 Chastain86 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Man, if Mrs. Chastain is any indication, you could power Cleveland by slapping an electrical harness on fourteen pregnant women.
__________________
"Shut up, listen and learn!" - Kevin Spacey, "Swimming With Sharks"

Official Doper Brat Inductee, 2004
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 04-21-2004, 04:18 PM
Kalhoun Kalhoun is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Quote:
Originally Posted by smoke
Ooh! Maybe I could design custom wraps for the ass-cannisters?
I'm thinking...something with lightning bolts? Mad Scientist electrode thingys? The sky's the limit on this one.
__________________
The poster formerly known as "EchoKitty"
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 11-30-2012, 08:17 AM
HeyIts007 HeyIts007 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Just use a balloon with a one way valve, hand tapped into your ass when needed. Once the balloon's inflated, connected to a compressor with a value release pin and compress into a regular methane gas cylinder.

Last edited by HeyIts007; 11-30-2012 at 08:17 AM..
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 11-30-2012, 08:29 AM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: America's Wing
Posts: 23,258
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mangetout View Post
At least for the human-portable version, that is; methane collection at sewage plants and farms is probably feasible, but I'm not going to bake a cake in a fart-fuelled oven, I'll tell you that now.
But I have seriously wondered something for awhile. They add mercaptans to natural gas so it is smelly, and you can tell if there is a leak, because it's odorless otherwise. Would there be a decreased need for mercaptans if the gas was collected from farts?
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 11-30-2012, 08:44 AM
BubbaDog BubbaDog is offline
See, I had a dog named Bubba
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: KC MO or there abouts
Posts: 4,327
Do Zombies fart?
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 11-30-2012, 08:48 AM
johnpost johnpost is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
zombie or no

this would make being a bubble butt a good thing.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 11-30-2012, 10:08 AM
racer72 racer72 is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Covington, WA
Posts: 5,357
I farted in a jar back in 2004. It has been sealed since. Wonder if it still has an odor.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:43 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@chicagoreader.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Publishers - interested in subscribing to the Straight Dope?
Write to: sdsubscriptions@chicagoreader.com.

Copyright 2013 Sun-Times Media, LLC.