Battery operated "fart collectors" could help solve the energy crisis and improve...

[Roland Deschain]

oder. These would be worn beneath your underwear and would "suck" the gas (methane?) from any farts. Then, the canisters could be plugged into a "central" unit when full and the gas used to provide energy. I'm not even sure it would smell worse than regular natural gas which has sulfur compounds added to make it smell (in case of leaks). Even if this didn't work for people it could be affixed to farm animals (cows, pigs ect) and could provide and additoinal "income stream" for farmers. In a "related" concept "gas suckers" could be placed within the basins of all public restrooms serving a dual purpose. One they would provide the equivalent of an automatic "courtesy flush" and provide the added benefit of additional gas collection. What's the catch?

[Mangetout]

I'm certain that the energy required to collect and compress the gaseous emission would far outweigh the energy available from combustion of its methane component.

[Mangetout]

At least for the human-portable version, that is; methane collection at sewage plants and farms is probably feasible, but I'm not going to bake a cake in a fart-fuelled oven, I'll tell you that now.

[jovan]

Originally Posted by Mangetout

methane collection at sewage plants and farms is probably feasible

There are a number of landfills that already produce electricity from methane produced in the trash. Here's one.

[Kalhoun]

I just got off the phone with Mr. Kalhoun. We're quitting our jobs. Man! We're gonna be rich!! Rich, I tell ya!

[Tapioca Dextrin]

Originally Posted by Kalhoun

Man! We're gonna be rich!! Rich, I tell ya!

Can I enquire as to your business plan? Is it along the lines of

1. Collect fart gas in underpants
2. ..
3. Profit

[Kalhoun]

Originally Posted by Tapioca Dextrin

Can I enquire as to your business plan? Is it along the lines of

1. Collect fart gas in underpants
2. ..
3. Profit

Oh, yeah! My husband is the King of Farts. He saves them up all night and then scares the cats with the morning release.

So...

1) we funnel it through a tube,
2) into a canister (the power of these farts alone will be its own "compression device."
3) We open up a little "Alternative Propane Shop" and we're in business.
4) Start countin' the greenbacks.

I can tell Lieu wants in on this business proposition!

[aahala]

I'm certainly glad to see Roland is thinking outside the box and using his brain(?) power to help solve important world issues.

It's questions like these that have made the $4.95 I paid for membership worthwhile.

[smoke]

Originally Posted by Kalhoun

Oh, yeah! My husband is the King of Farts. He saves them up all night and then scares the cats with the morning release.

So...

1) we funnel it through a tube,
2) into a canister (the power of these farts alone will be its own "compression device."
3) We open up a little "Alternative Propane Shop" and we're in business.
4) Start countin' the greenbacks.

I can tell Lieu wants in on this business proposition!

Ooh! Maybe I could design custom wraps for the ass-cannisters?

[Chastain86]

Man, if Mrs. Chastain is any indication, you could power Cleveland by slapping an electrical harness on fourteen pregnant women.

[Kalhoun]

Originally Posted by smoke

Ooh! Maybe I could design custom wraps for the ass-cannisters?

I'm thinking...something with lightning bolts? Mad Scientist electrode thingys? The sky's the limit on this one.

[HeyIts007]

Just use a balloon with a one way valve, hand tapped into your ass when needed. Once the balloon's inflated, connected to a compressor with a value release pin and compress into a regular methane gas cylinder.

[Ludovic]

Originally Posted by Mangetout

At least for the human-portable version, that is; methane collection at sewage plants and farms is probably feasible, but I'm not going to bake a cake in a fart-fuelled oven, I'll tell you that now.

But I have seriously wondered something for awhile. They add mercaptans to natural gas so it is smelly, and you can tell if there is a leak, because it's odorless otherwise. Would there be a decreased need for mercaptans if the gas was collected from farts?

[BubbaDog]

Do Zombies fart?

[johnpost]

zombie or no

this would make being a bubble butt a good thing.

[racer72]

I farted in a jar back in 2004. It has been sealed since. Wonder if it still has an odor.