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#1
05-24-2000, 05:46 PM
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I'm so tired of saying, "Thats Not It"
Any men out there who KNOW where it is??
__________________
There are two types of women: Goddesses and Doormats. -Pablo Picasso 
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#2
05-24-2000, 05:50 PM
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Yep, but I ain't telling.
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The Scots - never trust a race whose national dress includes a concealed knife.
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#5
05-24-2000, 06:08 PM
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Clitoris... isn't that in Virginia?
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#6
05-24-2000, 06:21 PM
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The little man is in the boat.
"All hands on deck!" -S
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"We've defeated it with logic!" -- Captain James T. Kirk 3124
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#7
05-24-2000, 06:23 PM
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Lordy lordy, I've never heard this one before.
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Give your children these two things: One is roots, the other, wings
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#8
05-24-2000, 06:31 PM
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Honey? Where's the clitooriiiis?
It's in the medicine cabinet right next to the shaving cream. -Oh wait; that's the Lavoris...
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If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. ~Abraham Lincoln
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#9
05-24-2000, 06:39 PM
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Yes...I know how to pleasure a woman.
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[sub]Silo, you are a badass. -Lucky Charms <Jophiel> "Silo you are awesome, the greatest, I love you, you are my favorite poster, etc..." <WickedBlu> Silo, I love you! You're the best! Never stop posting! Ever! <Calllllie> silo's a badass.... Personally insulted by Cecil Adams.
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#10
05-24-2000, 06:51 PM
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Isn't that that thing right by your appendix?
__________________
One of only 19 People to have been personally welcomed by the great Uncle Cecil Instead of studying for finals why not take the week off in the Bahamas? You might fail but you might have failed anyways and thats my point.
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#11
05-24-2000, 06:57 PM
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Here in The Netherlands, we are taught were the Clitoris is in elementary school. So yeah, I know where it is. Need any help?
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Work is the curse of the drinking class - Oscar Wilde
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#12
05-24-2000, 07:00 PM
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Like Coldfire sez...
If you need a map, I would be glad to draw you one
__________________
Goethe once said, "A useless life is an early death." In Goethe's terms, most of you are already dead.
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#13
05-24-2000, 07:02 PM
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I haven't seen this one before either Sue, geesh, on a first post at that. This must be a live one. Makes you wonder now doesn't it?
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Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. So many men, so few who can afford me A WallyM7 original sig One of the 19 chosen ones to be personally welcomed to the board by Cecil Adams!
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#17
05-24-2000, 07:44 PM
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Not meaning to suggest anything, but...
I have talked to sexually active women who didn't know where the clitoris was, or had misconceptions regarding it. One of them, remarkably, *did* know where her G-spot was, and believed it was her clitoris. I saw her in a inner city walk-in clinic (i.e. not as part of a practice), and this was not directly related to her primary complaint (a Bartholin's cyst) Therefore never got a chance to find out the complete story. Perhaps she had some sort of nerve damage or perhaps it was something entirely different. There are more things 'twixt heaven and Earth...
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Making people sorry they asked since at least 1965
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#18
05-24-2000, 08:25 PM
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I've heard that REAL men don't NEED to know!
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#19
05-24-2000, 08:35 PM
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Quote:
My man does, but I don't share. Sorry.
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"Ayesha, Who can bend minds with her spoon" WallyM7 I am not just *a* bitch, *some* bitch or *the* bitch, I am their Queen ! Hepatitis C, educate yourself http://hepatitis-central.com/
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#20
05-24-2000, 08:45 PM
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Hmmmm....sounds like Delores.
Oh, and it can be called the Mistress Button. Touch it and she starts behaving like one.
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I have no idea what I am doing.
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#22
05-24-2000, 09:04 PM
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Sure. It's "The Committee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society." You can find it at their headquarters -- the mining ship Red Dwarf.
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"One never knows, do one?" Provider of quality fantasy and science fiction since 1982.
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#23
05-24-2000, 09:48 PM
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Ummm... thats the thing right at the beginning of the the crack of the butt right? I usually attack that right after I seduce the lumbar region!
__________________
For every homicide in the US there are TWO suicides. Think about that. Comfort someone troubled.
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#25
05-25-2000, 12:15 AM
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Why are you of the opinion that I need to know?
Kidding! ::::ducks, flees, hides::::
__________________
"A government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take away everything you have." ~Barry Goldwater
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#26
05-25-2000, 12:16 AM
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Hey, for years *I* didn't even know where it was
Absolutely true. I've never been interested in masturbating--see my sig line, I think that's partially why--and so clitoral manipulation was completely foreign to me.
My then-boyfriend, now fiancé were becoming a bit more sexual (and he is my first, as I am his, so we're talking really ignorant people about sexual expression at this time), and well, I wanted to know where the damn thing was. I looked up reference photos, referred then back to myself, touch it a wee bit to determine WHOO! yup, that's it, and I graduated from Clitoris College. Next time I saw my man, I gave him a mini lesson--with manipulatives and visuals, of course. It was strictly scientific at the time--"Well, I'll be, there it is,"--and now is just damn fun. Like I tell my students--knowledge is best when it's applied.
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Rule number one: Horse people are nuts. Rule number two: If you don't know any horse people who are nuts, it's YOU.
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#27
05-25-2000, 02:13 AM
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Quote:
No, but if you need help finding it, I'll be more than happy to assist you in your search. Where is the last place you remember seeing it? </MODE> But seriously, it troubles me when women expect men to be psychic. I had a general idea where the clitoris was when I was in college, but I had read extensively on the topic (in medical texts, not Playboy, Hustler, etc. -- sheesh!) I'm over 40 now, and my self-image isn't wrapped up in knowing it all. If I can't find something that important, I'll ask directions. To tell the truth, there is a lot of variation in "normal" human anatomy. Heck, even if your "equipment" looked exactly like the illustration in Gray's Anatomy, that's no guarantee your male partner will immediately recognize it for what it is. Let's face it. He may not even have read the book. Hopefully, he'll be happy to learn where it is on you. After all, it's not very likely to be hidden behind your ear, right? Instead of getting frustrated with your partner, show him where it is. If it's that important, he needs to know, and if you're emotionally healthy, dispelling his ignorance is more important (and rewarding  ) than it is to have another item to add to your "why he's a jerk" list. Hopefully it'll be important to him, too -- otherwise, show him the door.--Baloo
__________________
My sister's Blog about life with an autistic child: Life on the Spectrum
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#28
05-25-2000, 02:46 AM
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Its in the back of the throat, right? (heh-heh)
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#29
05-25-2000, 03:31 AM
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Baloo is right on. Men today are expected to know everything about women by osmosis or something. If you can't take the extra ten seconds to at least hint what you like and which buttons to push, why should men take the extra time (Which to their lower brains seems an eternity) to push those buttons. If I said I get tired of telling women "No, no honey, all the way down your throat" I would be a sexist asshole. Yet you slam men the same way and expect people to feel sorry for you. (Sorry, got a little carried away - forgot I wasn't in the 'pit.) My wife and I have stayed married for 17 years because we use our biggest sexual organs all the time - Our brains. We talk. If I do something she likes, she lets me know. If it's not working, she just as quickly guides me to what does work. With my wife that's important because what worked this morning may not work tonight. I have no problem giving her the same input. Lighten up on the guys. Show them what you want. The fallacy that men can't be told what to do because their feelings will be hurt is just that - a fallacy (Phallusy?). Men love to be shown what women like. It increases the chance of repeat performances and if you dump him because he's a real asshole, the next woman he's with will appreciate the additional talent he brings to the table.
__________________
"Don't try to out-weird me six-eyes. I get stranger things than you in my breakfast cereal."
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#30
05-25-2000, 05:21 AM
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Ruffian said:
Quote:
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Work is the curse of the drinking class - Oscar Wilde
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#31
05-25-2000, 09:30 AM
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Yup.
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You say "cheesy" like it's a BAD thing.
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#32
05-25-2000, 10:01 AM
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It's on screen toward the end of the South Park Movie.
Not meaning to hijack this thread, but I have to say that in a movie so full of laughs, I think I can single out the "I am the clitoris" moment as the funniest.
__________________
"Sherlock Holmes once said that once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible. The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it that the merely improbable lacks." -- Douglas Adams's Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective
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#33
05-25-2000, 11:11 AM
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The following is an unsolicited answer to the OP, from Mrs. Olentzero... ahem:
Quote:
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"Heed the word of Olentzero. He is indeed wise." - Ponder Stibbons
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#35
05-25-2000, 11:28 AM
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Where is the Clitoris...
I don't know. Haven't seen her since "Blazing Saddles."
__________________
Stir Good. Puppy on bottom.
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#36
05-25-2000, 11:46 AM
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Well, according to my wife and all my pre-marital girlfriends, you can count me among the physiologically aware.
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Patron Saint of All Things Hot and Fiery ....
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#37
05-25-2000, 12:13 PM
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Quote:
<<ducking>>
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#39
05-25-2000, 02:02 PM
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I agree with Olentzero .... YES there are men who know where it is and how to treat it, and those are approximately the noises that will result! I also agree that as much as society tells us (women) otherwise, the time has come for us to stand up (lie down?) and say "touch me here, do it this way, I like this, I don't like that." Hey... it's the new millenium ... maybe now is the time for women to admit they like sex? YES! oh ... YES!
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One of silent_rob's Top Three Valentines! blondes have more fun, but Brunetters are more fun. --Meephead Rest assured I'll be following your posts with the dedication of a deranged stalker from now on. --woodstockbirdybird If I was a lesbian, I'd do ya. -- Sue Dunhym
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#40
05-25-2000, 02:12 PM
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I agree with Olentzero .... YES there are men who know where it is and how to treat it, and those are approximately the noises that will result! I also agree that as much as society tells us (women) otherwise, the time has come for us to stand up (lie down?) and say "touch me here, do it this way, I like this, I don't like that." Hey... it's the new millenium ... maybe now is the time for women to admit they like sex? YES! oh ... YES!
By the way, Handy, I like your "Joy of Sex as told by Dr. Seuss" Some are large and some are small. Some cannot be touched at all. Some are peach and some are pink. Some will grow and some will shrink. (Find it now or you're a dink?)
__________________
One of silent_rob's Top Three Valentines! blondes have more fun, but Brunetters are more fun. --Meephead Rest assured I'll be following your posts with the dedication of a deranged stalker from now on. --woodstockbirdybird If I was a lesbian, I'd do ya. -- Sue Dunhym
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#41
05-25-2000, 03:03 PM
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I agree with Olentzero .... YES there are men who know where it is and how to treat it, and those are approximately the noises that will result! I also agree that as much as society tells us (women) otherwise, the time has come for us to stand up (lie down?) and say "touch me here, do it this way, I like this, I don't like that." Hey... it's the new millenium ... maybe now is the time for women to admit they like sex? YES! oh ... YES!
By the way, Handy, I like your "Joy of Sex as told by Dr. Seuss" Some are large and some are small. Some cannot be touched at all. Some are peach and some are pink. Some will grow and some will shrink. (Find it now or you're a dink?)
__________________
One of silent_rob's Top Three Valentines! blondes have more fun, but Brunetters are more fun. --Meephead Rest assured I'll be following your posts with the dedication of a deranged stalker from now on. --woodstockbirdybird If I was a lesbian, I'd do ya. -- Sue Dunhym
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#42
05-25-2000, 03:05 PM
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Good God!
Can you tell I was having trouble posting? Sorry gang!
__________________
One of silent_rob's Top Three Valentines! blondes have more fun, but Brunetters are more fun. --Meephead Rest assured I'll be following your posts with the dedication of a deranged stalker from now on. --woodstockbirdybird If I was a lesbian, I'd do ya. -- Sue Dunhym
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#44
05-25-2000, 08:30 PM
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I, the lowly 13 year old, do! See, my 16 year old sisters' friend came over, and was really hitting on one of my friends, so she sat us down and explained all this...apparently I'm now qualified to give a detailed explanation, involving graphs and diagrams (we have charts and shit SO BACK THE FUCK OFF!)
So, apparently, I (not quite a man...at least not in that sense) know where it is, and your dumb ass dates don't...you're not a petafile, right?
__________________
~Dan "We are drowning in information but starved for knowledge." -- John Naisbitt (1929- ), American business writer
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#45
05-26-2000, 01:28 AM
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Quote:
On the other hand, you're clearly ahead of the curve re the subject of this post!
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Thank you to everyone who made my stay here an enjoyable one. To any at all whom I have offended or alienated, I apologize. I desire the enmity of no one.
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#46
05-27-2000, 11:50 PM
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Oooooooooh my, my ex-bf.... wow. he knows BOY DOES HE KNOW!!
a note to concrete: i do know that guys like head... But do you do with a guy who has never gotten off that way, despite the efforts of SIX OTHER GIRLS [his prior endeavors]??? HE DOESN'T KNOW what it took... Sadly, no research has been able to help him yet. Got any sugestions I can relay to his next sexual partner?? I'm serious, really.
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o|~o|~Connect the dots, La La Laaa!o|~o|~
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#47
05-28-2000, 02:36 AM
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While I'm surprised your BF 'couldn't get off' that way (I assume you mean a BJ), I must admit that I've never been particularly fond of them.
It's caused friction in the past (boy *that* came out wrong) because I'm *supposed* to love it, and some partners have been rather bent out of shape when I wave them off... I'm not unsympathetic. I *love* giving head, and I've been disappointed when I'm with a girl who doen't enjoy receiving it. But my disappointment is not nearly as powerful as theirs. (I have my theories on this.) Would you care to elaborate on why it bothers you?
__________________
Making people sorry they asked since at least 1965
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#48
05-28-2000, 04:47 PM
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KP- it bothered me only because he loves to "pleasure girls," as he put it. He genuinely loves going down on them because all his attention is on the girl. I felt bad because the favor couldn't be returned and not for a lack of trying on both our parts.
__________________
o|~o|~Connect the dots, La La Laaa!o|~o|~
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#49
05-28-2000, 05:02 PM
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Curse me for an untutored clod...
I'm surprised no-one responded to the OP with:
"StoneyBaby, are you requesting auditions?" I hate coming up with a good reply several days after the need. What's the opposite of "lightning wit"? Postal wit? --Baloo
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My sister's Blog about life with an autistic child: Life on the Spectrum
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#50
05-29-2000, 12:20 PM
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Actually, Baloo, ze amoreux French have a phrase for that kind of thing: esprit d'escalier, lit. "spirit of the staircase".
It comes from the time when you're either having an argument or you've been zinged and you storm out of the apartment to go have a beer/smoke/breath of fresh air to calm down. Halfway down the stairs to the next floor you come up with the most God-awful brilliant riposte, but of course now it's too damn late to go back and say it because the moment's been lost forever. So you get all flustered again and that one beer becomes an all night drinking bash to drown your sorrows, both because you lost the argument and because you're kicking yourself for being so damn slow with the blasted comebacks, already. Returning you to your regularly scheduled sex ed thread...
__________________
"Heed the word of Olentzero. He is indeed wise." - Ponder Stibbons
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