A cliché from all sorts of programmes on the same topic, the human penis. We get to the end of the show and its always the same, the narrator asks coyly if women think size matters and they all reply “as long as they know what to do with it”.
So what do women want men to do with it? I thought it was pretty straightforward but now this show has me wondering what the hell that’s supposed to mean. Is there something I’m missing out on (duelling, cleaning chimneys, climbing buildings with it?)
Pole vaulting
Putting holes in doughnuts
Used as a fishing rod
Fencing rapier
and so on and so forth
Okay, it’s early. I’m gonna spill the girly secrets. Don’t tell anyone I told you this:
It’s about torque, not about horsepower.
In-out-in-out-in-out doesn’t do a lot for most of us (there are always exceptions, blah, blah…). For most of us, a very subtle twist and grind is a whole lot more satisfying. There’s a happy medium, of course - don’t mash the clitoris into a paste with your pelvic bone, but definitely make contact with her whole vulva, not just the vagina. Give just a little pelvic wiggle with each thrust, and you’ll rock her world.
When you’re amply endowed, as I’m sure every man in this thread is 
, “What to do with it” is generally to take it slowly until things loosen up. Tease her a bit with just the head of your penis in and mostly, but not all the way, out, and then a little bit of the shaft, until she feels so hollow inside that only the rest of you in her *now *will satisfy. While the vagina is stretchy, on most of us it’s not all that limber all the time - a slow teasing approach relaxes the engorged muscular walls of the vagina (What? Engorged? Yep, with blood, just like your penis.) enough to allow for more freedom of movement. And again, stop it with the in-out-in-out shit. That stuff chafes, and we have very few nerve ending actually IN the vagina. Think how excruciating childbirth would be if our vaginas were as sensitive as your glanses. Glans = clitoris; vagina = scrotum, more or less. The number of women who orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone is about equal to the number of men who orgasm from scrotal stimulation alone. That is, not many.
Hey, woah, that’s actually something I do too from time to time. Wow, I actually do know how to use it :eek:
I’ll make a note of it.
You see, THAT is sex education! That is what they should teach in school. Less of that Georgia O’Keefe imagery and more on how to be happy in the sack.
I wish you’d been teaching my sex education class. 
(We got an embarrassed substitute teacher who put a few diagrams up and only used Latin words.)
That’s all well and good, but sort of like trying to learn to drive a car by reading an instruction manual. I need to see at least a couple of instructional videos and then spend some time in a “hands on” demo, followed by a series of homework assignments with a lab partner.
I just started thinking about prehensile penises. Men could walk around the house picking up socks and shirts and various kitchen items they leave laying about. And they wouldn’t even think they were cleaning up after themselves, but just showing their male prowess.
This could be a win/win thing, ladies.
**WhyNot **has some good advice, but personally, I think it’s all about proper positioning. In order to make a woman come, make sure the penis is about two and half feet below her vagina.
Please – no pile driving. It’s just not sexy in the least.
So do I, boys, so do I! There would have been a laboratory component as well, since **ShibbOleth **is absolutely right - you really needs some hours behind the wheel, so to speak, as well as hitting the books.
Unauthorized Cinnamon, I believe you’re referring to topics that will be on the oral exam, aren’t you? A valuable part of the curriculum, but alas, outside the scope of a “what to do with the penis” lesson.
If UC means what I think she means, she’s my hero(ine).
That’s all well and good, and heaven knows us guys enjoy a bed time snack occasionally, but please, ladies, if you have to grab something, make it the headboard, OK?
Sunrazor, take it like a man, willya!
Um, other than that… pretty much what WhyNot? said. The jackhammer thing is not cool. In fact, think back on whether you’ve ever done that. Now match that up against the women you never saw again. Any correlation?
It’s all about the full-pelvic contact. And I’ll add a little hint that I acknowledge may only apply to me (I try to never speak for my gender, what with my gender comprising 50% of humanity and all), but it’s also about the rhythm. When I’m thisclose to orgasm, that is NOT the time to stop what you’re doing and try something different. I’m very orgasmic, but sometimes that thing can evaporate in half a second, and I’m back at square one, except NOW I’m frustrated and annoyed. It’s a real buzzkill.
I had one partner who, every time I made the littlest peep of a moan, would STOP, and say, all concerned, “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” ARRRRRRGH! No, but I’m going to hurt *you *if you keep doing that!!! :rolleyes:
I recall an episode of Sex Is Fun where they spent a long time going over that very concept - once you find something that is working, don’t stop until she either comes or tells you to change it.
Heh. My ex used to do this thing where he’d just stop. **No ** movement. I think that he got overly focused on “full pelvic contact” while forgetting “rhythm”, but I don’t know why he continued to do it after all the times I literally screamed in frustration for him to move that thing, dammit. Could be the repressed anger, I suppose.
Anyway, I found the cure eventually. Everytime that happened, I’d wait for him to juuuuuuust fall asleep and then pinch him. Hard.*
**I do not endorse this behavior, which was immature and wrong. I will note, however, that it worked, so make of that what you will. *
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