"It's not the size that counts, it's how you use it"

Eh, simple tittle, but it gets to the point. We’ve all heard the expression a lot, in many different forms and phrases, but it all seems to be the same thing. Supposedly, a guy with a small member who knows what he’s doing is a prefered lover over someone who’s incredibly well endowed and figures that’s enough. But the thing that’s never explaines is: If you’re sailing more of a dingy than a yacht, what’s the right way to sail it?"

I know many of you are going to chime in with the whole “It’s all about paying attention to your partner and being emotional”, but is that really it? I mean, can’s someone be highly emotionially involved in the act, be paying attention to what’s going on, and still be a horrible lover?

(Sorry about the, what, umpteenth thread about sex, but all of us over in the Spit or Swallow group started asking a whole bunch of other questions, so we decided to branch out).

I personally would rather have the yacht. Who cares if you know how to use it? What matters is that I do.


As one woman once said to me, “Size doesn’t matter, but it sure takes a hell of a long time to get to England in a rowboat!” No, I didn’t sleep with her. (She wasn’t my type, honest!)

This is a very good question. My feeling is that, if the man is only involved in the act, then yes, he can definitely be a lousy lover. If he’s truly emotionally involved with the woman, then it’s highly unlikely. Because, if you care about your partner, more than about getting laid, you will be sensitive to her reactions to what you’re doing and respond accordingly. If she’s loving it, keep doing it. If she’s not, try something else.

We have a much larger range of motions, in that area than would be apparent from day to day life. There are far more options than the straight-on pile driver motion, available. And, different women respond best to different motions. Some like a lot of friction on the clitoris; some prefer less. Slow and easy, fast and hard, straight versus circular motion; it’s all good. And, most women, IME, don’t want the same thing time after time, anyway.

And, Lyllyan makes a good point. If the woman knows what she’s doing, the man doesn’t have to. He’ll learn “on the job”. Best training program, EVER! :smiley:

Well, the fact is that a small penis isn’t going to feel as good inside a woman as a larger one. (Too large and it’s just painful.)

That said a few points:

  1. Most women can’t orgasm through penetrative sex anyway. So if a guy gives good cunnilingus and manual stimulation, his partmer is going to be much more happy.

  2. Even with women who can orgasm through penetrative sex, the penis doesn’t have to be huge to reach the G-spot. That’s just a matter of trial and error - experimenting with different positions and thrusts and making sure there’s communication over what works and what doesn’t.

  3. The only thing that someone who’s less well-endowed can’t do as well, IMO, is give the pleasure that comes from all of a vagina being touched. I’m not expressing this brilliantly, I know. Even that can be made better, by if the penis is narrow moving in a more circular motion while thrusting will increase sensation.

Overall, I think the point that’s made with the “it’s how you use it” comment is that more important than size is a desire to please your partner and being happy to experiment and communicate to do that.

What Lyllyan said…

Sappho, where’d you get your fact from? I can’t claim to be an expert in this area, but I have an opinion. From the limited number of penises I’ve seen, I’d say my partner is neither small nor large, but average. I have to say, I can’t imagine sex with anyone else feeling any better than it does with him.:smiley:

As you say,

I am one. It wouldn’t matter what size the guy’s equipment was, if he was not at the right angle so as to stimulate my clitoris, the sex would not be mind-blowing, no matter how long and hard he thrusted.

I’ve never had the feeling that not all of my vagina was being touched. Could be due to positioning and technique, or, dare I say maybe I’m just, … um, small. :o

There is (or should be anyway) so much more to the whole experience than just the penetration part…

The body has so many erogenous zones… and there are so many ways to make them happy :slight_smile: Explore, look for feedback… do what works & stop what doesn’t! Enjoy the whole trip.

Good communication is also important! If you are honestly trying to pleasure your partner and they can’t or won’t volunteer what they really want you to do to make things more pleasurable for them… this is their loss!

Seems no one has yet to define what the right size would be. Even then, that would depend on the size of the woman–small woman, small guy–nice match?. Also, what’s the comparsion of a big one that only lasts 2 minutes compared to one the right size that lasts a half hour or more?

There are a lot of variables to consider.

Exactly. Which is better, blonde hair or brown? Skinny or Muscular? Guitarist or Drummer? Poet or Lawyer?

For some people, bigger is better. For others, there is no difference. For still others, small is just perfect.

For example, if you have a gigantic vagina, you will seek out someone with a penis the size of an Easter ham. To you, bigger will be better.

Wow, I didn’t know that.

Wiping Frito crumbs off the monitor Thank you, SO much, for that unnecessarily vivid mental picture. :dubious:


:eek: :mad: Aaargh! Yet another useless male taking up space on our planet! Where is the selfish bastid? :mad:

Yes, sweetie. 'Tis true. Never mind him. C’mon, I’ll show ya. :wink:


Actually, if anyone wanted to go into some detail about the different range of motions, I for one would be all ears (uh, eyes).
I’m with Elvis on this one. How many ways can there be to sail a dinghy or a yacht?

Well… there is a nice circular stirring motion that is fun sometimes…

And even in “pile driver” mode… there’s a lot to be said for the angle of entry…

but… while I do enjoy the feeling of him inside me… the mind erasing orgasms only come with direct clitoral stimulation… so… you really need to get the rest of him involved too :slight_smile:

In my experience most people think size matters. However, huge isn’t necessarily the size that matters most… for that matter, neither is small. I have been with people who are smaller endowed and they were able to satisfy with good technique, and men who were larger than average who couldn’t satisfy because they were clumsy. Bad technique is just bad technique. Some friends prefer OMG sized ones (Oh my gawd can be both big and small) but most prefer average sized ones. I guess what ever fits best with a given individual is what is best.

me personally, i never get tired of pile driver sex, really

I don’t think size matters that much, but it also depends on whats all going on, Like I like straight hard thumping sweating pounding sex, but If it was with someone who had a 2 in weenis I am not sure how I would like it, I am sure if they had good technique it would still work, or not, I should just stop now as I have no clue what I am talking about LOL

As a card-carrying member (no pun intended) of the National Association of Under Endowed Males (yes, there really is such a group – we have regular meetings, a secret handshake, a book club, etc.), can I just say that these threads really depress me…


snicker Did you say “a secret handshake”? snicker I’m sorry, Barry, but …Bwahahaha! :smiley: A penis-related society that has a secret handshake! Bwahahahaha!

wipes eyes Ahem. Well…to get down to business, so to speak, Tanookie Don’t go there, Dave! There isn’t necessarily and connection between her name and this thread. mentioned the circular motion, and angle of attack. Both are good starts. I don’t know that the circular motion is all that effective. It doesn’t seem to have made much difference to my partners, although they can feel the difference.

The angle of attack is probably more important. Partly because there are certain spots you want to hit, if you’re concerned about the lady’s happiness, and partly because certain angle produce more contact. If you’re less than generously endowed, this can be a good thing.

But, also, all the motion doesn’t have to come from the hips. I’ve had really good results by using my toes to provide the drive. It takes some strength but, if you can do it, it can provide MUCH more clitoral stimulation than straight pumping from the hips. I’ve helped a couple women discover they were multi-orgasmic, this way. You need to keep your weight on your own arms or elbows, so as not to crush the lady, and also to provide the freedom of motion required. The legs go out straight, not bent at, or resting on, the knees. It’s almost like doing a pushup, except that, instead of lifting yourself, you want to push with your toes. There should be only three real points of contact with anything, for the man; the arms/elbows, the toes, and the groin, where it makes contact with the woman. I should mention, this also takes considerable back strength, to keep the pressure on the woman from becoming to much. She’ll also need to adjust her angle, by raising her knees a bit, or angling her hips, to make the most of it. But…damn!..it works well. :smiley:

Don’t forget the many positions that allow for the lady to do the driving as it were… It is always nice to be the one in control of the angle, depth, and speed of things… Also go for comfort… stack a few pillows or try a chair (a well padded chair) Oh and make sure any toys you may want are nearby… nothing kills things like a 2 minute search for accessories!

shh dave … While my name actually came from a mario game as people get to know me they tend to acknowledge it does have a certain irony to it :wink:

I’m starting to think there’s no irony, there, at all. Just “truth in advertising”. Unless you’re not tan, that is. :wink:

I never thought of Haverhill girls as being hot. I guess I was wrong. :smiley: