'Allo, 'allo! Eet is Batroc ze Leappair, armed with deadly savate skills, armload of ze croissants and absurde comic book accent. Batroc ze Leappair, in deadly combat against ze kickboxing Belgian action hero with none of ze skills in acting, no? Zut alors! Who shall emerge as ze victor? Dites-moi, mon capitan!
Batroc, if he is … er, uh …
Dolph Lundgren enters, kicks both of their asses, writes a doctoral dissertation, and leaves through the back door.
Well, Batroc usually loses, because he’s pathetic. The Muscles from Brussels, on the other hand, usually “wins” because he’s the hero.
I’m going to call this one for JCvD.
<hijack>
My favorite van Damme fight is in Universal Soldier, when he’s in the diner and just wants to eat something, and the denizens of the bar keep attacking and he fends them off casually, eating all the while. It’s not Jackie Chan good, but it’s darn entertaining.
</hijack>
I dunno are we talking the real “Twerp from Antwerp” or his movie persona.
If it is his movie persona, VanDamme wins, the hero always wins.
If it is in real life, Batroc wins since he isn't:
-
A woman
-
Married to VanDamme.
Hasn’t VanDamme had at least two marrages end because of spousal abuse?
What if some white paint fell on Van Damme, putting a stripe down his back? The Batroc would think that JCvD was a skunk, too, and amourous hijinks would ens…
…oh.
It depends on which Van Damme we’re talking about. Bloodsport Van Damme can beat anyone anytime anyplace anywhere ever.
No way could Batroc beat somebody who can crack a walnut with his butt.
[obligatory *Friends *reference]
Is there a hero in the Marvel Universe that has been, or ever will be, bested by Batroc?
Good gravy, the guy is like the Chicago Cubs. He comes close from time to time, but no dice, Frenchie.
I think Batroc has a better shot at an Academy Award.