THE KITTY, MAN. WHERE's THE &(*^ING KITTY?!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

This is the weirdest goddamn thing I’ve ever seen. A friend of mine and I were walking down Market Street in Chattanooga this evening, and I saw three people running across the street out of the corner of my eye. I turn to look, and I see that it’s three Goth kids (teenagers) - black clothes, black lipstick, black nail polish, pale faces - chasing a kitten across the street.

At first, I thought it belonged to one of them and they were trying to recover it, but then one caught up with it, and snagged it off the ground, holding it between two fingers by one back leg.

The kitten squirmed, then snapped at his fingers, and he cursed and dropped it in the street. The kitten took off toward my side of the street, hotly pursued by the three kids. It got to the curb, and laid down defensively, biting and hissing and scratching at the three of them as they reached for him.

This was too much for me. IT looked to me like they were being cruel to the kitten, so I stepped in, yelled at the first kid to “Cut the shit!,” and I reached down and scooped up the cat.

Now, I may have overreacted to the kids, sure. But it turned out the kitten was a stray and they were chasing it, ostensibly to rescue it. I remained a bit skeptical, remembering how the one guy held the cat, so I told them I’d take care of it.

Now, the weird part. I got back to my hometown, stopped at a local store for kitten food and litter, and drove home.

When I got home, the kitten was not in my car.

I know that what simply had to have happened was that the kitten darted out the driver door either when I got out or when I came out of the store, but I’d swear in a court of law that I saw nothing exit the car (and I was watching for the possibility, by God.) The kitten had clambered down from my lap, and hidden under the passenger seat, where it had hissed at my fingers when I stuck them under there to see where it was.

I got out of the car carefully, watching to see if the cat would dart for the door. I saw nothing. When I came back out, I watched carefully (I thought), as I climbed back in. I SAW NOTHING.

I just searched my car with a flashlight, under the floodlights outside my house, for the fifth time. There is no kitten there.

WHERE THE HELL IS THE KITTY?!

2

Either I’m the blindest MF out there, or that freaking kitten was just extraordinarily skilled at hiding, because I just founde her. In the car.

Yeah. Hrm.

3

I hope you love your new little kitty :slight_smile: Tell me, is she the sweetest thing you’ve ever seen? Or is she in a corner hissing at you right now?

4

Kittens are incredible at finding nooks and crannies, I’d imagine this one hid either under a seat or perhaps climbed up behind the dashboard.

How old does it look?

5

More importantly, was the kitten MASTURBATING LIKE A MOTHERF*CK?

6

I suggest you name the kitty “Spooky”.

7

I think ‘Waldo’ would be a good name, too.

8

He was in the seat springs. The same thing happened to use when we brought one of ours home.
Good luck. Independence and love are not mutually exclusive.

9

Reminds me of a book I read in school about how cats have the ability to transport themselves anywhere, which is why you can never find the SOB’s when you need to (i.e. - roommate left window/door open AGAIN and you need to verify that there have been no escapes).
We turned the house upside down one day looking for my boy, Jesper.
Three people searching for a good half hour (small apartment) and were about to go search the neighborhood when he came waltzing out of no where, yawning and stretching as if he’d been asleep.
:dubious:
Yeah, right. We all know that magically transporting oneself drain you. :stuck_out_tongue:

10

:dubious:
Yeah, I speaky de’ english REAL good on a Saturday morning. :smack:

“Yeah, right. We all know that magically transporting oneself can really drain you.”

11

Oh, she’s a feral little thing right now, hissing and snapping and clawing. But she’s too darn little to do any damage. She’s TINY. Old enough to be weaned, since she ate a little moist food I put out for her, but she can’t be more than 3 or 4 weeks old.

I love the name suggestions. :slight_smile: But tell me. What was the name of that Black Metal guy? The one from Sweden? You know, the guy who killed himself and promptly became a Black Metal icon? Latin name, etc?

I figure I’ll cultivate the habit (if we keep the kitty. We already have two, and we’re unsure if we can afford to get her all the shots, etc. If not, we’ll take her to a good no-kill shelter.) of referring to her in a DOOM-FILLED VOICE, that can’t be anything but a good thing.

12

TREMBLE, MORTALS, BEFORE EURONYMOUS THE DEATH METAL DOOM KITTY, FOR SHE SHALL DESTROY YOUR SOOOOOOOOULS!

guitar riff

13

Oh, and Euronymous is so skinny that her spine, ribs, and hips are protruding. :frowning:

14

Oh, they know EXACTLY what to do to make themselves invisible. It’s all part of the secret rites of their worldwide organization, to which humans will never be admitted.

That was very nice of you to rescue him/her. As you probably know, if you keep him/her, please neuter/spay!

15

We picked up a kitty a couple of years ago in hopes of keeping it from being run over.

16

we all know that using the word ‘oneself’ in a sentence hurt brain.

17

I really wanted to add a :wink: in that last post, but I hurt my brain.

I also wanted to add that I can never ever find my kitties. People insist it’s because I don’t have any kitties, but I know different. Those little buggers have got to be around here somewhere… :stuck_out_tongue:

18

Well that’s what you get for trying to be snarky first thing in the morning. :stuck_out_tongue:

19

I chasing your kitty.

20

You actually named her Euronymous?! That is so cool!!

Euronymous didn’t kill himself, though. Varg Vikernes (aka Burzum) killed him. Varg would be a cool name for a cat, too. :smiley: