Hell and damn, I killed a kitten...

…and I feel like throwing up. Goddammit!!!

There’s several feral cats in our neighborhood, and they know me for a soft touch. I put out food and water. Two of my regulars have/had five kittens between them, but now there’s only four.

I was leaving to go to the store. I saw an adult and a couple of the little ones run under my car. So when I get in I kind of sit down hard, to bump the car and let them know I’m there. Then I turn on the lights, and then I start the car, but I let it run a bit, as a warning, before slowly backing into the alley. As I’m halfway there I hear a high pitched squeal, and when I’ve completed my backing I look and, well, it wasn’t pretty. Poor baby was still moving a little so I stop and get out, but by the time I reach it the movement had pretty well stopped. I disposed of the body in the trash, but then I saw the mother run over to where it had been and I just about lost it.

@#$%^&* Itried to warn them! I’ve had the strays around for ages and this has never happened. I feel so guilty, and I want to cry, even though my head tells me I did what I could to get them out of the way.

Shitshitshitshit, why did a perfect weekend have to end this way?

It wasn’t your fault.

You DID try to warn them, Baker. Sounds like short of physically picking them up from under your car, you did what you could.

I’m so sorry. :frowning:

{{{{{{Baker}}}}}}
Don’t worry, the kitty isn’t in pain.

Sorry. I did the same thing ~20 years ago. Poor cat. All we can do is try to watch out for them. :frowning:

I had the same thing happen to me about 12 years ago. I felt horrible. Just try not to think about it. You didn’t do it on purpose and you tried to let them know. :frowning:

Baker~~

I know you to be a good soul (from your donation to the Chubz Fund last year). It really was not your fault. However, perhaps some of the other Dopers and I can help you fund some spays and neuters for those cats so that you never fear starting your car again.

What do you say, Dopers??
Bless the beasts and the children for they have no voice and have no choice.

What a great idea alohaaloha ! I’d be happy to donate.

{{{{Baker }}}}

alohaaloha , I thank you for the thought but these are not animals that come up to me. They accept food I put down but only after I back off. It would have to be done with traps, and since I work I would be afraid to leave the traps untended. And with all the hidey holes around, even Animal Control would have a heck of a time.

I’m just going to have to be even more careful. I’ve observed the cats in the neighborhood for almost seven years now, and there are no more now than there were then. It’s a rough life. Based on my observations I would say one in five kittens born “in the wild” lives to see it’s first birthday. Between respiratory illnesses, other animals, cold, cars(shit!) and so on, there’s an extremely high mortality rate. My own two indoor cats, while not strays, were taken in from two different outdoor situations.

The responses in this thread are what keep me coming back to the Straight Dope. I’ve still been crying a little, but I’m just going to have to deal with it. I appreciate the offer of assistance though.

If you want to do anything, please, just go and hug your cat/dog/kid/whatever.

You poor thing. Please try not to beat yourself up over this. I felt like crap a few weeks ago when my dog killed a little bunny in the fenced back yard. I managed to wrangle three more out of her mouth over the next few days and “relocate” them to the front yard. Luckily, they did just fine.

I have the same fears everytime I leave my driveway, every critter in the 'hood seems to know that I am the old softy and put out all the bunny food and squirrel food and bird food. I just wish they would fear us a bit more. One bunny comes right up to the open window with 3 dog heads hanging out. Silly Rabbit!

Anyway, as requested I’ve just hugged my brood. Hang in there.

Don’t worry, its not a big deal. I remember stepping on one of my sister’s cats kittens about 2 years ago, had to watch the thing hack up lots of blood. Actually, it was kinda interesting to watch.

Wow DreadCthulhu, you’re quite the sensitive little fuck, ain’t ya?

Asshole.

I hope you’re kidding, DreadCthulhu.

Otherwise you’re a sick fuck.

DreadCthulhu, the first rule of this message board is “Don’t Be A Jerk.” So I’m warning you, don’t be a jerk.

Lynn
For the Straight Dope

Please people, I feel bad as it is, let’s not compound it by flaming DC. I have taken a step to address the matter.

I have received a couple of private emails that have lifted my heart. Sleep was bad last night, but hopefully the immediacy of what happened will begin to fade. The consolations I have recieved here and privately have truly helped.

Again, thank you all for your responses, but for reasons that I will keep private for now I am going to ask a mod to close this thread.

Oh, Baker, what a horrible accident. It was tragic, but nothing intentional, and I know you won’t let it happen again.

ivylass , the hell of it is, and that’s why I asked a mod to close this thread(so I don’t have to look at it) is that this morning, on the way to work, I did do it again, and this time I had to put the poor thing out of it’s misery. I hadn’t been going to say that because I didn’t think anyone would believe me, or that I was falsely fishing for sympathy. I tried alerting Lynn to this thread, but because I’m doing it from work it may not have gone through. Could someone else please give a mod a head’s up? I’d appreciate it.

And I will be going to the pound and renting traps, and calling Animal Control. This will never happen again!

Just go hug your pets for me please?

Oh, I’m so sorry. It’s a horrible feeling to accidentally hit an animal. I know, I backed into my own dog a few weeks ago. (I still don’t know how she got out of the back yard, and she’s fine.)

My herd are dutifully hugged as requested, and I’ll report your last post to the mods.

Here in Minnesota, it’s not unheard of to have wild cats climb into warm engine compartments.

Sometimes there’s nothing you can do.