McCoy: I’m a doctor, dammit! Not Colonel Sanders!
Spock: Logically, it must have been fascinated with something.
Q: You couldn’t even begin to comprehend the reasons. Growl for me, Worf.
Worf: Klingons don’t have chickens.
Paul Atriedes: The road is the chicken killer. I will face the road and allow the chicken to pass thru me.
Gurney Halleck: Young cluck! Young cluck!
Sarah Conner: It was terminated.
Star Trek:
Because it had a red shirt and Kirk sent it to check out that rock across the road.
2001:
Its destination and purpose, still a total mystery.
Rattletrap Galactica:
Because it was fleeing from the Cylon menace.
Because it didn’t want to be reborn in the fiery ritual of carousel.
Star Trek: TNG - Because Geordi reveresed its polarity
Because there was a rift in the time-space continuum, the chicken was stuck in an endless loop, repeatedly getting halfway across the road only to be mashed into paste by a mack truck. The chicken started having deja vu experiences before it finally figured out that it shouldn’t cross the road until an additional 15 seconds had passed. Once it did that, the loop was resolved, and the chicken was able to complete its objective of delivering supplies to Deep Chicken Coop Nine.
There isn’t really a chicken. The Vorlons have manipulated your racial memory.
Because Resistance was futile?
–Because a nearby ion storm made it impossible to get a transporter lock on the other side.
–Chickens undergo a biological cycle that compels them to cross the road once every seven years. They just don’t like to talk about it.
–It was seduced by the Dark Meat of the Force.
–The Answer and the Question are mutually exclusive. There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly why the chicken crossed the road, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
Star Trek:
Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
H.P. Lovecraft:
To escape the horror on this side of the road, the most blasphemous eldritch abomination of elder night ever to seep forth upon an unsuspecting world from the interstitial blackness of non-Euclidean space and stalk cloven-hooved across the bleak and tenebrous wastelands of eleven overwritten pages.
Check out: http://www.chickenjoke.com/
Oh, and why did the Florida chicken cross the road?
To show the possum it could be done!
(If you live in Texas, substitute “armadillo” for “possum.”)
Because it was running from the gorram Alliance.
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy:
Every chicken civilization on every planet ascends through three stages:
SURVIVAL: How can we cross the road?
INTROSPECTION: Why do we cross the road?
SOPHISTICATION: Don’t you think the road on the other side of the hill has ever so much more tone?
Star Trek again:
To get away from Kirk. And you don’t want to know any more than that.
Battlestar Galactica (new series):
Never mind that, how do we know it’s really a chicken?
Because:
Soylent Green Is CHICKENS!!!
it discovered it was back on earth all along.
It was Lastday
Because that mountain on the other side means something!!!
To get the plans to the rebel alliance.
There is no sanctuary
A Object of unbelivable destructive power was approaching Earth and it happened to be the only Chicken in interception range.
Smallville: To join Cluck Kent.
Dr. Who: To find a Dalekatessen.
Sliders: To get to the other slide.
Star Trek: DS9
Garak of the Obsidian Order: “Give me ten minutes with that chicken and we’ll find out!”
The Foundation Trilogy: Although we can predict with great confidence the behavior of large populations of chickens over generations of time, we can of course say nothing about the behavior of a single chicken.
Adelei Niska: “So now we are done with preliminaries, with little questions: Why you hold back eggs from me, why you cross road. Now we get to the real questions–About your true self… Now we get to meet the real you. Tell me-- [begins plucking feathers from the chicken] --are you familiar with the works of Shan Yu?”
Ender’s Game:
The Chicken’s Gate was across the road.
The Matrix Reloaded:
It already crossed the road, it just had to be there to understand why it did cross the road.
10-15 years ago, there was a SF anthology in England called Forbidden Planet (Named, I believe, for the comics shop in London; most of the writers and illustrators were Brit Pack comics pros). One of the stories was about a group of chickens stranded on a very busy highway’s median, subsisting on rain puddles, bugs and litter. The stupid ones drifted into traffic and were flattened immediately; the remaining ones evolved at an accelerated pace, developing rockets and teleportation devices to attempt to cross the highway successfully.
I knew I forgot one:
The Matrix:
There is no road.