Is my reading disturbing your yammering?

[pseudotriton ruber ruber]

I like to read on the subway. Often, I do actual work on my laptop while I'm on the train. The way you might notice this is that I've got a laptop open and am typing on it, or else I'm turning the pages of some book.

Other people are sleeping on the subway. A telltale sign of sleep is someone's mouth being wide-open, with drool extruding, while their eyes are closed and hir head is at an odd angle to his neck. Snoring is often going on.

Still other people (I haven't asked, but I've been one of them from time to time) enjoy a quiet ride to do their thinking.

But some fucking braindead, clue-seeking dipshits have decided that various modes of behavior are entirely appropriate in close proximity to people reading, working, sleeping, and sitting peacefully. For reasons I am unable to fathom, these worthless sub-humanoids punctuate about half of my train rides with the following:

1) selling various unwelcome and unsolicited products, often of a candy nature, with the added quality of explaining at great length--precisely as if I give a fuck-- the name and purpose of the organization (school, drama club, athletic team) they're supposedly representing and which, they seem to claim, will somehow benefit from the sugar-hawking. Somehow I think if I see a person walking from car to car with a sign around his neck saying "CANDY $ 1" plus a big box of various candies, I should be able to figure out their function without a single syllable being screamed at length into my ear. And if I can't, maybe I'm too stupid to chew candy.

2) "Entertainers" who do pretty much the same, only they're explaining their act, which is generally a high-volume, protracted bit of noise that I would walk out on A)if I could and B) would voluntarily surrender my access to even if I had just paid money to be entertained, which I have not. But my fellow passengers will often fork over money to these talent-free slobs foisting their egos on us, making me want to scream at them "B-b-b-but you're just encouraging them. You're giving the impression that it's desirable to have this noise provided at random intervals without the benefit of actual talent. Don't you see?"

3) fellow passengers conversing. Sometimes this is just your garden-variety on-life-support everyday conversation, usually at three times the decibel-level required, which is bad enough ("So I sez to him Do you want fries with that and he sez Yeah, so I asks him With ketchup? and he sez No, I want it on the side And I sez to him Ya want a big glob of it on the side or do ya want one of them plastic packages, I got both for ya--") but the one I find particularly frustrating is the one where a youngish guy finds himself riding with a youngish girl, both in their late teens or early 20s, whom he doesn't know as well as he'd like to, and has nothing really to talk to her about, but instead of just voicing directly his desire to rid them both of their clothing and copulate right there on the IRT--which pretty much everyone in car understands is the ultimate purpose of the conversation--procedes to talk about any old shit that randomly flitters across the tatters of his brain, in the vain hope that these revelations will make him more attractive to the young woman than simply keeping his piehole shut.

4) the same sort of quotidien conversations, with the addition of a cellphone. The few seconds of silence while the other person is talking do not, oddly enough, make this type of conversation any more palatable than its non-cell phone counterpart. "Ya, I'm just on the train. Nah, I'll be there in fifteen, twenty minutes. [looks at watch] Maybe a half hour. Ya, sometimes the train stops in between stations, so it takes longer. Say, between fifteen minutes and a half hour, then. You can get me on my cel if you need me. Yeah, it's same number as I had last time. So, how you doin'? I'm okay, it's just kinda boring on the train, so I thought I'd call and say Hi. Okay, welp, I know, you know? I guess I'll say goodbye, then. All right, welp, then, you know, goodbye, all right. Goodbye. I'll be talking to you soon, unless I get off the train and see you first. OK, bye-bye now. Bye." [dials another number on cel phone--GAHHHH!!]

The only exception I'm provisionally willing to make to my rule of Mandatory Capital Punishment for a First-time Offense of Opening Your Stupid Mouth while on Public Transit would be for people begging for change, and food, on the subway, mainly because their situation is dire enough to warrant the risk of bothering me, and my fellow nappers, readers, workers, etc. with their problems. For them, I'd allow an intermediate penalty of Starvation While Trapped in a Cell with Whiny Nonsense Spoken Incessently at Top Volume, out of sheer compassion for their self-destructive lifetime of behavior, but for everyone else it's the lethal injection.

[Halfpint]

Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes

(Can you see I agree with you?)

I commute to work for an hour and a half in each direction, and even on the other side of the world from you, we are blessed with the same delightful travelling companions. Not so many of the beggars, but plenty of guys trying to impress girls - normally half their age - who are far more interested in trying to put their makeup on without poking their eyes out.

Except for the women who giggle in response. Please, please can I ask for immediate torture to be inflicted on women who giggle before 8am? At least in my carriage?
And an equally swift punishment on the return journey for 'terribly nice' middle-aged women and their equally tedious friends who have spent the day shopping in town, seem to think think that their handbag is more entitled to a seat than I am, and who spend the entire journey moaning that the train has been delayed by a massive five minutes. Loudly. Continuously. And as if they expect any of us to respond.

They simply need to have their mouths sellotaped up.

[D_Odds]

You forgot the subway 'philosophers', who often identify themselves as Christians yet know nothing about Christianity. Warning: Do not take their lord's name in vain in front of them. Not once has anyone but a born-again Christian come on the subway to give a religious spiel, which often turns out to be a hateful diatribe to anyone not born again.

But the worst is when you get two-three of these in a row. Candy, followed by 'entertainment', followed by witnessing. And people wonder why there is violence in the subway...

[Liberal]

One solution might be to broadcast a signal throughout the whole train, a tone so loud and piercing that no one can hear anything else. That way, people who think their phone calls are as important as other people's books and crossword puzzels will have no advantage.

[Dead Badger]

Originally Posted by D_Odds

You forgot the subway 'philosophers'...

I got one of these the other day who told me (apropos of nothing, mind you) in portentous tones that it was "a good thing to read books about the UN. The UN's day is coming, and it will be a very important factor in the future of the world." He then went off a bit on how Kofi Annan was up to something possibly involving lizards. I couldn't tell if he was pro- or anti-lizard, but he did like to whistle a lot. It was all very strange, and he had a beard. The only thing I could possibly have been doing to set him off was reading my book. Not much of a connection there for free-form scat conspiracy theorising, but that's talent for you, I guess.

Originally Posted by Liberal

One solution might be to broadcast a signal throughout the whole train, a tone so loud and piercing that no one can hear anything else.

Ah, you've ridden on the Victoria Line, I see.

[Fiveyearlurker]

People selling batteries. Is that just a New York subway thing? This one guy has a whole spiel that I heard twice a day for a year, "Not Dynacell, not Powercell, but genuine Duracell. The copper top. The one that beats the bunny, folks....."

[AngelicGemma]

So you want a quiet train? *Sigh* I'd be happy if the library was quiet. But noooo. There's always some bitch with a phone. The trains I get are usually more quiet.

[Frank]

Originally Posted by Dead Badger

It was all very strange, and he had a beard.

I've always felt that I'm letting down the side by wearing a beard and not being unusually eccentric. I've tried to be eccentric - I really have. Unfortunately, the only person I've ever convinced of it is my ex-wife.

[irishgirl]

You have to perfect the skill of appearing to be in a kind of fugue state.
It usually involves staring intently at a point in the middle distance and zoning out your surroundings, to the point where only a loud explosion (and the train stopping at your station) would shake you from your trance.

I got very good at it on Dublin buses, ignoring the drunken old men, stoned youths and crying infants while staring intently out the window and thinking about nothing in particular.

But then irishfella has to tap me on the shoulder if he wants my attention while I'm reading or watching tv. I have a really good attention span and can focus on what I'm doing to the exclusion of everything else.

[Dead Badger]

Originally Posted by This Year's Model

I've always felt that I'm letting down the side by wearing a beard and not being unusually eccentric. I've tried to be eccentric - I really have. Unfortunately, the only person I've ever convinced of it is my ex-wife.

I've often thought that the best beards are worn in an understated manner - no pretension, no "hey, look at me - I've got a beard!" A beard should speak for itself, and I think these wacky-go-lucky charlatans are bringing down the whole tone.

That said, it couldn't hurt to take up pipe-smoking and occasionally intone the word "indeed" in a meaningful manner.

[don't ask]

While I agree with the complaints of the OP I must chastise pseudotriton ruber ruber for some cavalier use of the English language. In much the same way that George on Seinfeld wanted to pretend to be an architect I was always taken with the job of extruder operator - what the hell is an extruder and how do you extrude something. So I went to a factory and found out. Extruding is shaping rubber, metal or plastic by forcing it under pressure through a die. So while drool may be drooling I don't believe it is extruded. I make no apologies for my pedantry and I can now die a happy man - that day I visited the factory in Gladesville was not wasted.

[tdn]

Originally Posted by D_Odds

You forgot the subway 'philosophers', who often identify themselves as Christians yet know nothing about Christianity. Warning: Do not take their lord's name in vain in front of them.

"Dear Penthouse Forum: Like most of your readers, I always figured these letters were made up, but something happened to me recently that I just had to share.

"One sunny afternoon, I got onto the bus. I immediately laid eyes on two of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen in my life. They were probably 18 or 19 years old, blonde, and had bodies that wouldn't quit. They had supple, heaving breasts, pouty lips, and nice rounds asses. My cock stood at attention and was throbbing and pounding. Now normally, girls like this would pay no attention to a guy like me, but these girls gave me a smile and a wave. When I smiled back, they came right up to me and said hello. We then struck up a conversation, and I found out that their names were Tiffany and Desiree. And man, were they ever into me!

"They got friendlier and friendlier. I couldn't believe my luck! Finally, they asked me if I had any plans for that evening. I almost said 'Yes, I believe I will be living out every man's ultimate sexual fantasy', but all I managed to say was 'I'm free, what did you have in mind?'

"Bosoms heaving and nipples hardening, they puckered their pouty lips and asked 'Want to do something fun with us?' Uh, does the Pope shit in the woods? Of course I want to have hot monkey sex with your naked young nubile selves. 'Fantastic!', they exclaimed, giggling like schoolgirls. 'We're going to a Bible study group! You can come along and atone for your wicked sinful ways!'"

Name and address withheld by request

[Helen's Eidolon]

I may be a lone voice of dissent.

Many of the behaviors you described are annoying, yes. But public transport is not a no-talking space. Conversations, cell-phone or otherwise, are perfectly appropriate, as long as they're not disruptive.

[Fiveyearlurker]

tdn, is the implication there that witnessing doesn't occur on public transportation? I'll corroborate if necessary.

I have the Jews for Jesus handing out stuff (they're quiet, to their credit), and then when I get to the platform, I have the "Jesus screamers", whose name is pretty self-explanatory. Then, on the train, I have the guy handing out sandwiches to the hungry, collecting money for the hungry, and then, when he is finished with that he transforms into a Jesus Screamer. On the other side of the journey, I have people handing out The Watchtower. I'm not sure what denomination they are, but they (also to their credit) are also quiet.

This is not occaisionally. This is every day on the A train in NYC.

[Daithi Lacha]

Originally Posted by irishgirl

You have to perfect the skill of appearing to be in a kind of fugue state.
It usually involves staring intently at a point in the middle distance and zoning out your surroundings, to the point where only a loud explosion (and the train stopping at your station) would shake you from your trance.

I got very good at it on Dublin buses, ignoring the drunken old men, stoned youths and crying infants while staring intently out the window and thinking about nothing in particular.

But then irishfella has to tap me on the shoulder if he wants my attention while I'm reading or watching tv. I have a really good attention span and can focus on what I'm doing to the exclusion of everything else.

I agree - fugue state on the DART is always a good idea, especially at Kilbarrack when the schools let out and the carriage is immediately thronged with crazed children possessed with the souls of angry, drunken sailors - law, how they can curse!
Of course, it's kind of amusing to listen in on their conversations and then compare them to the kids that got on board, Southside. Like a whole different world...

[tdn]

Originally Posted by Fiveyearlurker

tdn, is the implication there that witnessing doesn't occur on public transportation?

No, the implication was that what I thought was going to be great sex of the magnitude rarely even considered in the wildest of fantasies turned out to be, in fact, witnessing. What I posted was a (mostly) true story.

However, I haven't seen a good witnessing on public transportation in a long time. Maybe I'm taking all the wrong trains. But years ago (maybe 20?), Bible Study encounters like this happened all the time, though not usually in such a buxom way. I guess that they don't do that particular style of witnessing as much these days. Or maybe I'm not seen as such a vulnerable "mark" anymore.

The one time such an encounter really bothered me (other than when my balls turned instantly blue) was when a guy cornered me on a very very crowded train. I couldn't get away from the guy. When I told him I wasn't interested, he kept pressing me. He asked such things as "Don't you think going to Hell is going to be bad?", and "Why wouldn't you care about you soul?" He wouldn't let up. Nine stops, and I was getting the 3rd degree the whole way. Had there not been so many witnesses, I would have kicked him in the shin.

[kidchameleon]

Originally Posted by LaurAnge

I may be a lone voice of dissent.

Many of the behaviors you described are annoying, yes. But public transport is not a no-talking space. Conversations, cell-phone or otherwise, are perfectly appropriate, as long as they're not disruptive.

Hey, I'm trying to read a thread here.

[Maus Magill]

Personally, I'm pro-lizard.

I've not run into these folks when I take the train to the airport, thank goodness.

I take that back. I did run into the guy looking for hand outs. I didn't give him money, but I did give him my sandwich.

[Fiveyearlurker]

Originally Posted by tdn

No, the implication was that what I thought was going to be great sex of the magnitude rarely even considered in the wildest of fantasies turned out to be, in fact, witnessing. What I posted was a (mostly) true story.

In that case, that's funny as hell.

I don't mind the platform screamers. But, I do mind the guy on the train. Basically, I'm captive at that point. Plus, I'm fairly certain that it's just a scam (much like all the teenagers selling candy "For their school's basketball team". I swear one of these kids was morbidly obese, and was panting from just walking through the train. He hadn't touched a basketball in years.)

[lisacurl]

Originally Posted by LaurAnge

I may be a lone voice of dissent.

Many of the behaviors you described are annoying, yes. But public transport is not a no-talking space. Conversations, cell-phone or otherwise, are perfectly appropriate, as long as they're not disruptive.

And if I may piggyback on your counter-rant here, the people who give me dirty looks for carrying on a conversation in normal tones with friends in Starbucks can kiss my ass. It's a coffee shop, not an extension of the university library, dipshits.

[pseudotriton ruber ruber]

Ah, so, it's Lisacurl and Laurange with whom we dipshits have such problems.

This could get interesting. You don't, presumably, enjoy being disturbed unduly. (I presume that when you're out at Starbucks gabbing politely with your pals, you would be a smidge distressed to discover that someone had decided to bring his two pit bulls in to the venue and was amusing himself by allowing them to fight to the death in the space between his table and yours.) So where do we draw the line between socializing and over-the-top intrusion of your space?

I'm quite comfortable setting my decibel-level at "the minimum that my companions need to understand me, erring on the side of 'too low'"--it's better that I should have to repeat myself sometimes than that my voice is bothering people outside the earshot of my intended audience.

Do your standards of polite behavior differ? And if so, how so?

[aruvqan]

Originally Posted by LaurAnge

I may be a lone voice of dissent.

Many of the behaviors you described are annoying, yes. But public transport is not a no-talking space. Conversations, cell-phone or otherwise, are perfectly appropriate, as long as they're not disruptive.

I know that the train between Boblingen and Gaertringen anytime I took it last spring was fairly quiet. The few people using cells were reasonably quiet, the small kids didnt whinge, mommy took care of them quickly and discretely, people chatted in a quiet tone. Very civilized. American trains are hell on tracks=( I hate taking amtrack from the annoying people standpoint, but it was otherwise a great way to go between New London CT and Tidewater Va...

[tdn]

Originally Posted by Fiveyearlurker

I don't mind the platform screamers. But, I do mind the guy on the train. Basically, I'm captive at that point. Plus, I'm fairly certain that it's just a scam

I don't think so. I think that it's just your garden-variety witnessing.

I got roped into one Bible study once. (Don't ask -- let's just say that in a battle of wits, this time the little head beat out the big head.) The people that showed up were perfectly nice, and didn't ask anything of me except to take a turn reading a few verses. They were otherwise perfectly content to let me remain a spectator. The only pushiness came the next week, when they tried to talk me into going again, and wouldn't take no for an answer (which they eventually had to). And the week after that. And the week after that. Every week for a year.

In fact, I think the only religions around here that would actually take you away and try to force you into their cults are Scientology and Krshna. And I haven't seen them do that for 20 years.

[matt_mcl]

Originally Posted by D_Odds

You forgot the subway 'philosophers', who often identify themselves as Christians yet know nothing about Christianity. Warning: Do not take their lord's name in vain in front of them. Not once has anyone but a born-again Christian come on the subway to give a religious spiel, which often turns out to be a hateful diatribe to anyone not born again.

Want to know how to deal with these people? Show tunes.

[Marley23]

That's right, I never got around to ranting properly about the born-again irritating "y'all going to Hell in a gasoline suit" preacher who yelled on and on about Jesus on my El ride home last week. It must've gone on for 15 minutes, and no matter what anybody - mostly me - said, he didn't stop talking. I thought Jesus was big on listening to people, and told him so, but that didn't quite get through. Yiy. At least he managed to be inadvertently funny by mentioning, a few too many times, that he used to be really attracted to drag queens.

[Helen's Eidolon]

Yes, they differ. A train is not a library. A train is a public space where, as in a restaurant or a mall, talking is perfectly appropriate.

I take the bus every day, and I read on the bus. But I don't expect all of public transport in this city to revolve around my desires for silence.

[Biggirl]

I'm with LaurAnge on this one. You want quiet? Take your car to work. You want to read? Go to the library. This is the subway and I paid my two dollars just like everybody else. I'm going to talk and if you don't want to hear it, stay home-- away from the public.


I can't imagine the sense of entitlement you grew up with to think that people on the subway should be quiet so you can read.

[pseudotriton ruber ruber]

OK, that's three votes in favor of yammering.

Anyone else , either pro-yammering or pro-entitlement dipshits wishing to encase the world in a Cone of Silence?

Not to put too fine a point on the subject, or anything.

[stpauler]

Originally Posted by don't ask

While I agree with the complaints of the OP I must chastise pseudotriton ruber ruber for some cavalier use of the English language. In much the same way that George on Seinfeld wanted to pretend to be an architect I was always taken with the job of extruder operator - what the hell is an extruder and how do you extrude something. So I went to a factory and found out. Extruding is shaping rubber, metal or plastic by forcing it under pressure through a die. So while drool may be drooling I don't believe it is extruded. I make no apologies for my pedantry and I can now die a happy man - that day I visited the factory in Gladesville was not wasted.

Don't forget, Play-Doh can also be extruded. My niece got this Play-Doh Creativity Table for her birthday (see picture of red-headed girl happily extruding. Charlie Brown not included). On the box it even said "Fun Factory extruder".

As to the OP, I have a pedestrian commute to work. Ever since I've gotten an iPod my commute has become much nicer without the occassional solicitations for pecuniary aide from the masses.

[GaWd]

Originally Posted by Turkeytaker

On the other side of the journey, I have people handing out The Watchtower. I'm not sure what denomination they are, but they (also to their credit) are also quiet.

They would be JW's.

Sam

[SLingshot]

Originally Posted by Halfpint

I commute to work for an hour and a half in each direction, and even on the other side of the world from you, we are blessed with the same delightful travelling companions.

Halfpint then went on to mention (in order): lack of beggars, (a plus); guys trying to impress girls who are trying to put their makeup on; giggling women before 8am; middle-aged women shoppers with more shopping bags than sense.

In response to this, I have to say Ha! I just moved from Tokyo! I agree with everything. But you you didn't mention the gropers. What about the gropers?

[Ogre]

I love watching and listening to people. It's fascinating. Therefore, I'm definitely pro-yammering. Want to exist in your own little world? Don't take a crowded public train. Simple.

I used to love to eavesdrop on conversations and observe behavior on the DC Metro. It could keep me entertained for hours. In Atlanta recently, I eavesdropped on the conversation between a pair of youngish black girls (not that it required spy equipment or anything...they were pretty loud.) The sentence, "He keeps on tryin' to sit next to me on the bus, and I'm like, uh uh! You bettah check yoself!" had me grinning for the rest of the day.

[matt_mcl]

I have no problem with people who talk in the metro, obviously. I do have a problem with people who bellow, roar, holler, or otherwise speak in a volume inappropriate to an indoor public place.

[pseudotriton ruber ruber]

Maybe my interest here is evolving as this thread evolves, from the sardonically-dismissive to the genuinely interested question: who shares my standard of pitching my voice low enough to risk having my interloquitur say "Pardon?" once or twice rather than pitching it loud enough so that I never get asked to repeat myself but more people inevitably get exposed to the conversation.

Which one do you choose?

[The Devil's Grandmother]

Originally Posted by SLingshot

In response to this, I have to say Ha! I just moved from Tokyo! I agree with everything. But you you didn't mention the gropers. What about the gropers?

There are fish on the trains in Tokyo?

[Fiveyearlurker]

Originally Posted by Biggirl

I'm with LaurAnge on this one. You want quiet? Take your car to work. You want to read? Go to the library. This is the subway and I paid my two dollars just like everybody else. I'm going to talk and if you don't want to hear it, stay home-- away from the public.


I can't imagine the sense of entitlement you grew up with to think that people on the subway should be quiet so you can read.

I don't think ANYONE here has said you can't talk. I know on the NYC subway, two people sitting next to each other can have a normal conversation that no one else can hear due to the din of the train. If anyone else can hear you, you are speaking too loudly.

I think the complaints have been about people assuming that since they paid two bucks, they can scream about Jesus, sell me cheap crap, tell me about their fake high school's imaginary basketball team and scream into their cell phones (luckily not a problem in NY).

It's like a restaurant. Just cause you pay your bill doesn't mean you get to stand on the table and scream to the patrons. Except at Denny's.

[Biggirl]

Originally Posted by Fiveyearlurker

I don't think ANYONE here has said you can't talk. I know on the NYC subway, two people sitting next to each other can have a normal conversation that no one else can hear due to the din of the train. If anyone else can hear you, you are speaking too loudly.

From the OP:

Originally Posted by pseudotriton ruber ruber

3) fellow passengers conversing. Sometimes this is just your garden-variety on-life-support everyday conversation, usually at three times the decibel-level required, which is bad enough ("So I sez to him Do you want fries with that and he sez Yeah, so I asks him With ketchup? and he sez No, I want it on the side And I sez to him Ya want a big glob of it on the side or do ya want one of them plastic packages, I got both for ya--") but the one I find particularly frustrating is the one where a youngish guy finds himself riding with a youngish girl, both in their late teens or early 20s, whom he doesn't know as well as he'd like to, and has nothing really to talk to her about, but instead of just voicing directly his desire to rid them both of their clothing and copulate right there on the IRT--which pretty much everyone in car understands is the ultimate purpose of the conversation--procedes to talk about any old shit that randomly flitters across the tatters of his brain, in the vain hope that these revelations will make him more attractive to the young woman than simply keeping his piehole shut.

Sounds like he just don't like conversation to me.

[Fiveyearlurker]

From the OP: "usually at three times the decibel-level required"

No it doesn't.

[Biggirl]

Whose definition of "required"? The guy who admitted to talking so low people have to ask him to repeat himself?

[Fiveyearlurker]

I think we can assume that the OP meant "required" to indicate the level necessary and sufficient to have the listener hear. I'm not one of these people opposed to cell phones in public. I'm opposed to assholes with cell phones in public. It is perfectly possible to use a cell phone on a bus, and not annoy a soul. But, there are more than a few people who speak louder than is "required".

And, yes, one should tend to err on the side of speaking too quietly in group settings.

[Biggirl]

Why would we assume that?

The only exception I'm provisionally willing to make to my rule of Mandatory Capital Punishment for a First-time Offense of Opening Your Stupid Mouth while on Public Transit would be for people begging for change, and food, on the subway, mainly because their situation is dire enough to warrant the risk of bothering me, and my fellow nappers, readers, workers, etc. with their problems. For them, I'd allow an intermediate penalty of Starvation While Trapped in a Cell with Whiny Nonsense Spoken Incessently at Top Volume, out of sheer compassion for their self-destructive lifetime of behavior, but for everyone else it's the lethal injection.

When he actually says he would like to give the death penalty to anyone who opened their stupid mouth around him. The extra penalties are for those talking loudly.

[neuroman]

ahem

Earplugs

that is all.

[neuroman]

ahem

Earplugs!

that is all.

[Fiveyearlurker]

Originally Posted by Biggirl

Why would we assume that?

When he actually says he would like to give the death penalty to anyone who opened their stupid mouth around him. The extra penalties are for those talking loudly.

I don't want to speak for him, but I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and say that may have been meant tongue-in-cheek.

[pseudotriton ruber ruber]

Oh, no! It's --SARCASM!!!! Ooooh, that's so scary!!! LET'S RUN!

5YL: Excellent reading of tone.

Biggirl: literal interpretation of figurative language, five yard penalty. Repeat the down.

All's I'm trying to say here is that you need to try to keep your private conversations somewhat private, even if they're held in public. Talking loud enough to be barely audible to your intended listener is fine; talking so loud you can be heard by your intended listener as well everyone else in the subway car and possibly by those in outlying suburbs of Cleveland, is kinda rude, doubly so when you're not very entertaining, witty or perceptive, and triply so when you're offensive, boorish, boring, repetitious, obnoxious, provincial, ethnocentric or droning.

What part of that do we still have a problem with?

[Rhubarb]

Originally Posted by neuroman

ahem

Earplugs!

that is all.

Damn it, I came too late to the thread!

To elucidate on Neuroman's excellent suggestion...

Nothing quite says STFU as eloquently as pulling a set of earplugs out and inserting them. Even if they don't take the hint, it turns the volume way down.

Also, it's not a bad idea in general, considering the noise level on most trains. I saw a strewardess, obviously dead-heading to Ft. Lauderdale, put in a pair of foam earplugs at the beginning of the flight and then read her book in complete peace. I tried it on my return flight and now won't fly without.

[Excalibre]

Originally Posted by neuroman

ahem

Earplugs!

that is all.

I just tell 'em I don't speak English. I speak several foreign languages well enough to convince monolingual Anglos that I'm a furriner. "Não falo inglês" or "对不起，我不能说英文。" repeated a couple of times is enough to make 'em give up.

[Stranger On A Train]

Originally Posted by Liberal

One solution might be to broadcast a signal throughout the whole train, a tone so loud and piercing that no one can hear anything else. That way, people who think their phone calls are as important as other people's books and crossword puzzels will have no advantage.

Ah, a fellow Vonnegut fan, I take it.

Stranger

[kimera]

I wish I could take something other than public transportation. Trust me, if I had the money, I would!

I ride a bus to school for a painful hour and a half. It is especially painful to me because the school is only 7 minutes away by car and the bus system here is almost non-existent in addition to being run by idiots. In order to use the time constructively, I like to read the required reading from the texts on the way into school and then do the problems at the end of the sections on the way back.

There is this really annoying born again Christian on the bus who talks in the loudest possible voice about the most annoying stuff. He knows nothing and is very confrontational about his way of talking.

Something that made me feel bad though…

There is a mentally handicapped boy that rides the bus and normally he talks to Loud Mouth. Last time I rode, he came back and sat down next to me and nearly put his arm around me. It made me feel very uncomfortable since he is bigger than me and I hate being touched by strangers. In addition, he had very bad breath. I wanted to scoot away but since he was mentally challenged, I assumed that he couldn’t tell he was making me very uncomfortable. I am just going to avoid having an open seat next to me in the future.

[Liberal]

Originally Posted by Stranger On A Train

Ah, a fellow Vonnegut fan, I take it.

Stranger

In with water, out with piss.