I know I have bitched about this before, but why do some people have to scream inanities at the top of their lungs into their cell phones on the goddam train? Last night there were two of them in my car—the only reason I didn’t get up to ask them to put a sock in it was because I was in the window seat and would’ve had to push the aisle-seat person out of the way.
Now. I do not object to people who do a quick, “I’m on the 5:47, meet me at the station,” or people who talk in a normal tone of voice . . . But what the hell is with the screamers? Do they not realize they are in a public place?
And. New Jersey Transit. I have asked them several times to put signs up and make announcements to the effect of, “Please keep your cell-phone calls as brief and quiet as possible, for the convenience of youir fellow passngers.” They refuse, even though they admitted to me that, “Yeah, that’s our biggest compliant.”
I’m going to start carrying a water-pistol with me . . .
Heh. We get the tourists here in SF that don’t realize that everyone else on the train wants to kill them. I wait for the tunnel’s approach, then cackle with glee at their sudden “Hello?? Hello?? Are you there??”
The best PT I’ve ever encountered that deals properly with this is Caltrain, a full-sized train that runs up and down the Peninsula. The conductor announces at the beginning of the trip that cell phones should only be used in between cars where there are no seats, and the ticket takers actively seek out and remove phone talkers from their seats if they don’t obey. There is usually an audible little cheer when this happens.
I admit I was really rude yesterday. On my ride home in the evening I sat next to this chick that insisted on SCREAMING into her mobile phone to whomever was unfortunate enough to be on the other end of the call. I could hear her clearly over my mp3 player and I listen to that sucker pretty darn loud. I whipped out my Blackberry and, clearly so she could read, typed the following:
Hi, honey. (I was writing to my hubby) I’m on the bus and I’m sitting next to this woman who is SCREAMING into her phone. It’s so annoying.
I’m not sure if she read it or not but a few minutes later she ended the call.
Civilized humans were not meant to ride public transportation. Where’s my complementary limo for being me?
Ooooh, me, too! We go through one tunnel, and I always giggle (yes, out loud) when they start yelling, “Hello? HELLO?”
My best moment was when this one guy screamed his home phone number over his cell phone to his girlfriend. I called him when I got home and left a message that he had just given his home number to an entire traincar full of people whom he’d just pissed-off.
I especially love the ones that start a conversation just as the subway train is leaving an above-ground station. They get about two words in before it goes undergrounds, and they start the whole “Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?!” thing.
No, you moron, they CAN’T hear you, because you’re UNDERGROUND.
I think all the cell-phone inanity screamers should be collected in one place, and have a little town all to themselves, where they could ride trains and scream about how they’re not doing anything all the live-long day.
And the rest of us could ride public transit in peace and freaking quiet.
Or maybe they should just be executed. Either way.
My husband and I STILL don’t have a cell phone. I just don’t see a need to be connected to the rest of the world every minute of every day. Sure, there are emergencies, but hey, I got through those emergencies without a phone before! Although I did buy a phone for my elderly dad for when he’s tooling in and out of the city. But that’s different. He’s a geezer. It really bothers me that young whippersnappers feel that they MUST be connected at ALL times.
World Eater, I do that every day (J train). I don’t know how anyone can have a phone conversation on that train, over the constant din of subway preachers, philosophers and performers. But people try and do hold their conversations. I think 9/10ths of the train pulls out their phones once it exits the tunnel onto the bridge.
Don’t forget all the elevated lines in Queens and The Bronx. Every evening when my N train rounds the curve into QBP about half the car whips out their phone to get their important call in before they get off the damn train at 39th Ave.
YES! YES! I hate these people! I hate them so much. And most of the time, it’s just pointless chit-chat. Arrrrgggh!
Another thing that bugs me is people with their headphones turned up too loud. Here’s a hint - if you are three seats away from me and I can tell exactly what song is being played, your headset is TOO DAMN LOUD! I want to tear the things off their head and smash it into the ground.
Have you ever seen Trigger Happy TV? One recurring skit is of a man with a huge cellphone - it’s a good 3 feet, and he yells inanities while continuing with his shopping, movie watching etc…
Now whenever the kids and I hear that particular ring tone, we automatically bellow
HELLO - NO. I’M AT THE MOVIES. YEAH, IT’S RUBBISH.
It’s lots of fun too when a clueless cellphone user whips out his little crutch the instant the plane lands, and the entire cabin is trapped listening to his loud conversational inanities as we wait for deplaning.
The next time this happens I am strongly tempted, as soon as his call ends, to announce in an equally loud voice, “THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR INCREDIBLY DULL LIFE WITH US.”
Her long lost brother was sitting directly in front of me on the Snowdon Mountain Railway last week in Wales. He ate his own boogers, ear wax, and facial skin flakes, and was rubbing his fingers in his armpits and sniffing/sucking them.
Several times I’ve had people four or five seats away yelling into their phones, “CAN YOU HEAR ME? CAN YOU HEAR ME?” to which I will shout, “YES! PIPE DOWN!!”
I love it when cell phone users get mocked. A few months back I was in the bleachers at Yankee Stadium watching them get beat by the D-Rays. This guy’s cell phone rings and he starts chatting on it really loud. People are getting a bit restless, so suddenly this guy stands up to start talking and you everyone can hear him trying to tell someone who is somewhere else in the stadium where to look to see him. “Things like, look towards the Jumbotron…yeah…no, to the right…etc.”
Suddenly this guy a few rows back starts yelling at the top of his lungs, “HEY, TO THE RIGHT! I’M THE MASSIVE TOOL ON THE CELL PHONE! YEAH! IN THE BLEACHERS! I’M THE ASSHOLE THAT WON’T SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP! MAYBE IF I WAVE MY HANDS LIKE THE GIANT TOOL I AM, YOU’LL SEE ME!”
The guy ended his call a few seconds later and sat down.
