Talk about new revelations! This was the hardest reality for me to deal with, doing a great job was a piece-of-cake, but what really mattered to employers, higher management, was how easy you were going to make it for them to get a piece “of cherry pie” as they call it… it’s a private company, 250 employees, predominantly male, but so what?! Try filing a complaint, and everyone else zips up (no pun intended) and it becomes a conspiracy against YOU. I guess the thing that still stings with me, is the fact that the few women who did work there, that I knew, were open about IT, OK with it, even enjoyed the fringe benefits that came with their level of service… am I stuck in a time warp??? should I have felt, “no big deal, they want to, fine, I don’t want to, fine… i can still work here and be happy”???
If you want to compete on their level, you need to find a senior executive who leans the other way, and make your skills known, if you know what I mean.
Maybe that would work at another company–not this one… this goes all the way up to the owners. So I guess some battles arent worth fighting, especially when you know the odds, wouldn’t you agree?
Go to the EEOC. If someone is getting promoted due to sexual favors, its still defined as sexual harrassment against you. But you’ll need evidence. Notebooks of conversations with dates would be a good start.
I have a hard time believing that a woman can get a high level job then keeps her job just becaus of a blow job or two.
I’m shamed to admit I used to think that about my mother when she was making her way through the ranks in the business world. (and this was back in the 70’s no doubt.)
35 years later she’s smei-retired and serves on the board of directors for a major restraunt chain. Now you just don’t get on the board of directors of any company by being a bimbo. There has to be something going on upstairs to reach that level of importance.
No don’t get me wrong ur8it, I’m not trying to imply your making this up. I’m just saying that maybe not all is as it appears to be.
Respectfully.
And if it is indeed the case, I’d look for another job. Because no, I don’t think you could be happy in a place like that. (And rightly so.)
The OP never explicitly stated that he/she was propositioned in exchange for a promotion. How is the manager sexually harassing her? Isn’t it between the manager and the girl getting promoted? No less grevious, but since when does NOT getting laid constitute sexual harassment?
Because DAMN was I sure sexually harassed at work!
If a company has a culture whereby it’s a known and common practice that the only way for female employees to get a promotion is to have sex with or to provide sexual favors to the male employees, Jane Employee herself doesn’t actually have to have sex with anyone. She can still make a claim of harassment based on there being a hostile work environment.
There’s no requirement that any sex at all take place in order to have a valid sexual-harassment claim, nor any requests for sex. Just putting up lots of nudie pictures can get a company legitimately sued.
I believe that it falls under the heading of ‘creating a hostile work environment.’ Whether explicitly or implicitly stated, a company whose ‘culture’ includes the routine exchange of sexual favors between superiors and subordinates screams that this is the only way to be successful there. That’s a big no-no.
Oh, I understand. I just thought it kind of strange that it wouldn’t be the promoted woman filing for sexual harassment, after all it is win-win for her since she has a better position AND a lawsuit against her employer.
I think that no matter how the lawsuit goes, the company is under no obligation to retain her as an employee. I could be wrong; however, I think it’s the same for whistlebowers as well.
Judging by what goes on around my workplace - woman aren’t expected to give sexual favours in any way shape or form, however it is a way of getting what you want. It was a rude awakening to me to see that sleeping your way to the top is alive and kicking - it tends to be women who are highly ambitious and they use sex to manipulate the men with the power. We have a director who is having an affair with the CEO (whom she reports to) - I’m pretty sure she would be uninterested in him if he did not have power within the org. Is the OPs workplace not the same - ie you can get on and do your job, you may progress over time, but if you want to fast track to higher salary - sex is a way to do it?
I might add that these women are not bimbos - they are skilled and intelligent workers, making the whole thing a lot more complicated and insidious.
I’ve been working for 20 years now (and boy, am I tired, badumpbump), and I have yet to work in a workplace where I felt that anyone was getting anywhere by having sex with anyone. Either I am blind and naive (a definite possibility), or it just isn’t that common.
So, are you saying you quit due to this going on at your workplace, ur8it? Cause you can and probably should do some whistle-blowing about it. People acting like that deserve to get caught and suffer consequences.
Well it’s true, and some of the V.P.s even poll which women give the best blow jobs! And I did leave… and honestly, i wish it was all a bad dream but wasn’t. Fyi, also made clear that women could “climb up” but should never expect to make director level.
You’re right on all points, the real kicker is proving the existence of a hostile environment, which in my case, was impossible to do since I relied on corroboration from others, specifically some women who did comply and got something in return… to them, they felt they had a good thing going, they wanted to keep their jobs, and they didn’t mind the “exchange” so they’d rather deny it all. Even the janitors had an understanding that if they witnessed anything, they’d lose their jobs if they told anyone about it, so one of them told me.
A weird systemic environment, to say the least. I’m no longer working there, but still feel kinda numb having experienced it, and NO, I was not directly propositioned and I’m certain it was because I let it be known–to those with loose lips–that I wanted my advancement there to be based solely on my performance–work performance, that is… but as you stated, the prevalence of hostile environment was something I couldn’t turn a blind’s eye to and still give 100% to my work, which was very important to me.
