When you get into a confrontation, do you ever threaten the other person with physical violence, or actually become physically violent? If yes, why?
If the answer is “yes, but only after the other person threatens first”, that’s fine. Perhaps “the other person” is on this board and will offer an expanation of why someone would threaten someone else with physical violence, even though there is no physical threat from the other person.
And, in case anyone is wondering, my answer to this thread’s question is “no”. (Big surprise, uh?)
No, unless it is repeatedly being done. If someone takes several minutes to make repeated physical threats, I start giving it right back. They back down when they see you aren’t “impressed” and are ready to back it up.
I tell my brother I’ll hit him with whatever implement I’m carrying if he’s bugging me (I’ll whap you with this pillow, I’ll bop you with this ladle, I’ll throw my book at you, etc.) but it’s always in fun. I haven’t actually hit him since I was… eight or nine, I think.
I scrapped with a Mexican immigrant once because he would NOT stop staring at my friend. I watched the guy and it was actually really creepy. He blinked maybe once every couple of minutes.
Regardless, it wasn’t very mature and not something I do often. But that dude really got me steamed.
Kids: “Papa! I can’f find the whatsit!”
Me: (knowing damn well they’ve not even made an effort to look beyond opening the toy closet door) “Okay, but if I find the whatsit, can I smack you with it?”
I did, once. It was in Paris, and the gypsy lady had just somehow managed to take my wallet. I noticed pretty soon, and finding her in a crowd, caught and held her by the arm. Hard.
I threaten my niece and nephew that “I’ll knock a knot on your head that would sweat a greyhound to run around,” that “you’re cruisen for a bruisen,” or that “I’ll tan your hide” when they’re acting up a bit.
Never. Threatening violence may cause the other party to react badly, particularly up here where everyone has a damn gun in his car. If threatened with violence, I turn in a casual way to a defensive posture and wait to see what comes, never taking my eyes off of the other guy. It’s always better if the opponent doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into. Most aggressive people deflate after a few seconds of adrenalin rush. Them as what doesn’t can deal with the consequences.
I don’t really get into fights, but I know people who do. If the OP was trying to understand what makes people like that tick, I think I can provide some insight. I think they mostly fall into two categories. People who fit under the broad umbrella of having a personality defect of some kind. They may be sociopaths, or have problems with authority.
The other kind are people who are stronger than average, like fighting, and realize the effectiveness a beating can have. While I don’t condone that kind of behavior, I understand the rationale behind it. This one kid I know manages to get into fights on a regular basis. I think he sees it as a recreational activity in a lot of ways. He doesn’t go off hitting people without provocation. Usually it’s some kid who, like him, likes to fight. The other times he gets into fights is when somebody is “talking trash” and needs to be “dealt with.” He feels people who feel they can say anything to anybody without consequences deserve an ass kicking. I’m sure many people disagree with that statement, but I find it is often true. An ass kicking can often be the best and most effective solution.
I’m not a large man, so it would seem rather silly of me to threaten people. If I ever end up in a fight situation again (it has been over a decade now), I guess I’ll have to try and throw the first punch quickly, against the nose or throat or suchlike, and then run.
Nope.
If I intend to hit you, I’d certainly not want you to KNOW I was going to hit you.
If you intend to hit me… no need to tell you I’ll fight back. You can assume that.
What could I have done that would result in your wanting to hit me?
What happened that caused you to throw the first punch?
Are you one of the guys that brickbacon is talking about: someone who “feels that people who feel they can say anything to anybody without consequences deserve an ass kicking”?
Yeah you’re lucky she didn’t put a gypsy curse on your ass.
I have to agree with brickbacon. There seems to be two types of people like this - psychos (people with personality disorders) and meatheads (people who amuse themselves by starting trouble with people they think won’t be able to fight back). We’ve all seen that guy in a bar who we’re like “man…that asshole needs a good beat-down”.
Not really. If one of my gymnasts hurts her foot (for example), I usually say, “Well, I think it needs amputating!” This makes them giggle and forget they have a sore foot.
But not seriously, no. I wasn’t brought up in a violent household and I never have the urge to hit anyone.
