More parody songs like my gramma used to sing.

[Biggirl]

Only when I was 5, I didn't know they were parody songs. Like
I hate Bosco, it's full of DDT
My mommy put it in my milk to try to poison me
But I fooled mommy and put it in her tea
And now there's no more mommy
To try to poison me!

Apparently there's a commercial that belongs to that song. I don't remember it.
My gramma also used to sing On Top of Spaghetti which started like this:
On top of spaghetti all covered with cheese
I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed.
It rolled off the table and onto the floor
and then my poor meatball rolled out of the door.

I didn't learn On Top of Ole Smokey until I was in middle school. And then I promptly forgot the real words and only remember the parody my gramma taught me. Kinda like I can't sing Our love's in jeopardy. . ., it's always comes out [/i]I lost on jeopardy. . .[i]


Have parody songs usurped real songs in your head? Or is my mind twisted.


::goes off singing Hold me closer Tony Danza. . .

[Miss Mapp]

Originally Posted by Biggirl

Only when I was 5, I didn't know they were parody songs. Like
I hate Bosco, it's full of DDT
My mommy put it in my milk to try to poison me
But I fooled mommy and put it in her tea
And now there's no more mommy
To try to poison me!

My mother taught me this song too, but the first line was different (Bosco was "rich in..." something; I don't remember what, but it wasn't DDT). I didn't run into the real Bosco jingle until much later in life.

I usually find that parody versions of songs and poems stick with me at least as well as the real versions, if not better. When I hear the non-parody, the parody tends to run alongside it in my mind and it'll come out if I don't take care to keep my mouth shut.

[Archergal]

Mad Magazine spoiled a couple of songs for me. I can't ever hear "You're a Grand Old Flag" without singing to myself:

You're a fat old hag,
You're an unsightly bag,
But you're still my true love, EmmyLou....

And Moon River to me sounds like:

Chopped liver, onions on the side
My social life has died
From you.
My friends shun me,
They outrun me
The smell of my breath is slow death,
Sad but true...

I could go on, but I won't.

[pinkfreud]

I cannot hear "The Stars and Stripes Forever" without thinking of these lyrics:

Be kind to your web-footed friends,
For a duck may be somebody's mother.
Be kind to your friends in the swamp
Where the weather is cold and damp...

[MacSpon]

Originally Posted by Biggirl

Kinda like I can't sing Our love's in jeopardy. . ., it's always comes out I lost on jeopardy. . .

Well, that one's a Weird Al Yankovic version.

[Gaudere]

To the tune of the Star Spangled Banner:

Oh say can you see
Any bedbugs on me?
If you do, pick a few, and I'll fry them for you
If you happen to throw up,
I will lend you a cup
Drink it down, do not frown, for it's nourishing toooo

Oh say do the bedbugs, e-e-ever yet roam
O'er the land of the free, and the beds of our home?

[Rufus Xavier]

When I was 9, I wrote this parody of the old Spider-Man cartoon theme song, in which I imagine the show is about Iron Man instead:

Iron Man, Iron Man
Does whatever an iron can
Steams a cloth any size
Presses pants, shirts and ties
Watch out - here comes the Iron Man

[Little Nemo]

Jingle bells
Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
The batmobile
Lost a wheel
The Joker got away - hey

[Ferret Herder]

I heard the Dr. Demento show (don't recall the artist, sorry) song "Squirrels" before I ever heard the Beastie Boys' "Girls." Now whenever I happen to hear the real song, I expect the parody instead, and end up singing the parody lyrics along with it.

"Squirrels! That's all we really are is - Squirrels! We're cute and cuddly, we are squirrels!..."

[davmilasav]

The basketball player who sat behind me in high school used to sing this little ditty to "Ironman"
I am garbageman
Coming here to get your garbage can
Is it full of slime?
Gonna have to use my gloves this time!

[ioioio]

We three kings of Orient are
Trying to smoke a rubber cigar.
It was loaded
And explo-oh-ded.
Now we're on yonder star.

[ioioio]

Glory, glory, hallelujah.
Teacher hit me with a ruler.
I conked her in the bean
With a rotten tangerine.
Us brats go marching on.

The next one is to the tune of a military song, the name of which I cannot bring to mind. Anyone?
Comet will get your kitchen clean.
Comet is made of kerosene.
Comet will make you vomit.
So get some comet
And vomit
Today.

Like Archergirl, I have many of the Mad Magazine parodies burned permanently into my brain. What school song was ever as rousing as this one (to the tune of "On Wisconsin")?
On brave Pivnik, on brave Pivnik.
Show them we've got spunk.
Suffocate them, decimate them,
Leave them all for junk. Rah rah rah.
Send the roar up,
Roll the score up,
Stomp them into mud.
Then clean up the mess
With their own blood.

[Sternvogel]

Originally Posted by laina_f

Glory, glory, hallelujah.
Teacher hit me with a ruler.
I conked her in the bean
With a rotten tangerine.
Us brats go marching on.

Other verses feature

"Met her at the door/ with a loaded .44/ And she don't teach no more"

and

"Hit her in the ass/ With a broken piece of glass/ Our kids are marching on"

The next one is to the tune of a military song, the name of which I cannot bring to mind. Anyone?
Comet will get your kitchen clean.
Comet is made of kerosene.
Comet will make you vomit.
So get some comet
And vomit
Today.

According to this page (scroll down to Cat Heads entry) it's the "Colonel Bogey March" from The Bridge on the River Kwai.

I'm another veteran Mad reader -- here's one of my memories:

I've got to stop smoking
My doctor has said
Or else when I'm seven
I'm sure to be dead

(as is "On Top of Spaghetti", this one is a takeoff of "On Top of Old Smokey")

[kaylasdad99]

I'm Popeye the sailor man,
I live in a garbage can.
I eat all the worms
And spit out the germs.
I'm Popeye the sailor man.

'Course, that's not a true parody, it's just childish foolishness.

Parody is when the luteist is playing Greensleeves and you start singing:

What child is this
who laid to rest
in Mary's lap is sleeping?

[Hilarity N. Suze]

Who needs words?

My father was a Spike Jones enthusiast, so the very first versions I ever heard of such songs as "Begin the Beguine" and "That Old Black Magic" and "Holiday for Strings" were--well, warped.

"When they begin [hoot, honk, whiffle, cuckoo!_ the beguine . . . ."

The lyrics to "Holiday for Strings" (which doesn't actually have lyrics) were:

"Ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha-ha,
hee hee hee hee,
who who who-ha,
ho ho ho ho ha ha ha ha"==

sorry. I can't go on.

Of course you realize that at the time I didn't KNOW they were warped.

[Baker]

You would all enjoy the following book, Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts-the subversive folklore of childhood, by Josepha Sherman. In it are many of the childhood rhymes and parodies mentioned above, and their variations by time and location.

[Biggirl]

Originally Posted by laina_f

Glory, glory, hallelujah.
Teacher hit me with a ruler.
I conked her in the bean
With a rotten tangerine.
Us brats go marching on.

The next one is to the tune of a military song, the name of which I cannot bring to mind. Anyone?
Comet will get your kitchen clean.
Comet is made of kerosene.
Comet will make you vomit.
So get some comet
And vomit
Today.


[/i]

I knew it as
Comet will make your teeth turn green.
Comet, it tastes like gasoline.

[ioioio]

Another one from Mad Magazine (to the tune of "On the Street Where You Live) (you have to be old enough to remember that Raleigh cigarettes used to come with coupons):

We have never owned a stuffed moose before.
For a stuffed moose we just never had no use before.
Now we've thirty-three, Raleigh sent them free.
We just love all those gifts that they give.

People stop and stare at our landing strip.
It took thirty million coupons to gain ownership.
Raleigh sent it free, with a warranty.
We just love all those gifts that they give.

[Jeff Lichtman]

Alas, my love, you do me dirt,
You put green sleeves on my yellow shirt.

[drewbert]

Here's a Christmas parody that would probably get you expelled or at least suspended from a zero-tolerance school:

Deck the halls with gasoline
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Strike a match and watch it gleam
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Watch the school burn down to ashes
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Aren't you glad you play with matches?
Fa la la la la, la la la la

[cosmosdan]

Originally Posted by Archergal

Mad Magazine spoiled a couple of songs for me. I can't ever hear "You're a Grand Old Flag" without singing to myself:

You're a fat old hag,
You're an unsightly bag,
But you're still my true love, EmmyLou....

And Moon River to me sounds like:

Chopped liver, onions on the side
My social life has died
From you.
My friends shun me,
They outrun me
The smell of my breath is slow death,
Sad but true...

I could go on, but I won't.

No please do, very funny.

[Qadgop the Mercotan]

Mad magazine burnt some into my brain, too.

Like "hello, Deli" (to the tune of Hello, Dolly)

Hello deli
This is Joe, deli
Would you please send up some nice corned beef on rye.
A box of ritz, deli
And some Schlitz, deli
Some chopped liver and a sliver of your apple pie.
Turkey legs, deli
Hardboiled eggs, deli
with tomatoes and potatos you french fry
Oh please don't be late deli
Cuz I can't wait deli
Deli, without breakfast I will die!

(all done from memory, sadly).

[athelas]

Something I came up with when I was bored (to the tune of "Battle Hymn of the Republic")

I know it's a phallic object, 'cause it's longer than it's wide
In your hotdogs and your obelisks male dominance does hide
If you disagree with me it's 'cause you've bottled it up inside
And that's what Freud said.

Glory, glory psychoanalysis!
Glory, glory psychoanalysis!
Glory, glory psychoanalysis!
And that's what Freud said.

Everything you do has sex in mind no matter what you say
If you disagree with me the orthodoxy'll make you pay
I have no facts to back me up, but I've jumped in the fray
And that's what freud said.

(chorus)

I love to use the subconscious because nobody can see
That I make stuff up as I go along - my services aren't free
And doomed is the iconoclast who dares to challenge me
And that's what Freud said.

(chorus)

Eh...it killed enough time, anyway.

[rowrrbazzle]

athelas, that's a lot like this song http://freespace.virgin.net/robert_i...chotherapy.htm

Freud's mystic world of meaning needn't have us mystified
It's really very simple what the psyche tries to hide
A thing's a phallic symbol if it's longer than it's wide
As the Id goes marching on

Glory glory psychotherapy
Glory glory sexuality
Glory glory now we can be free
As the Id goes marching on

More Mad stuff:

Bid a heart, bid a spade,
Bid a bid that can't be made,
As the bridge team goes ruffing along...

For it's Hi, Hi, Hee,
We've got vulnerability.
Shout out, "Three no trump" loud and strong!
DOWN FOUR!

[ioioio]

No one has mentioned the fabulous Allan Sherman yet. There was of course Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah (to the tune of Ponchielli's "Dance of the Hours"), but there were many others equally as able to permanently alter your brain cells. A couple of my favorites:

• You Went the Wrong Way Old King Louis (to the tune of "It's a Long Way to St.Louis). The introduction, to the tune of the "Marseilles", goes:
  Louis the Sixteenth was the King of France in 1789.
  He was worse than Louis the Fifteenth.
  He was worse than Louis the Fourteenth.
  He was worse than Louis the Thirteenth.
  He was the worst . . .
  Since Louis the First.
  
• Hungarian Goulash No.5 (to the tune of "Hungarian Rhapsody") which starts:
  If you like Hungarian food,
  They have a goulash which is very good.
  and contains the unforgettable lyrics:
  Borscht is what they're eating in the Soviet.
  Wait, I think we've got some on the stove yet.

[Superdude]

Every time I'm at a sporting event, and that national anthem (shlould that be capitalized?) plays, I can't help but sing the version from The Naked Gun:

Oh, say can you see
By the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming
Who's bright stripes and broad stars
In the perilous night,
O'er the rampart's we watched
As the da da, da, da, da, da
And the rocket's red glare
Lots of bombs in the air
Gave proof to the night
That we still had a flag
Oh say does that spangle banner wave
Over all-l-l-l-l that's free
Over the home
Of the land
And the land of the free!

[wolf_meister]

Hey !!! It's Enrico Palazzo !!!"

[zamboniracer]

Cheer, cheer for ol' Notre Dame
You take the Notre, I'll take the Dame,
Send some freshmen out for gin
Don't let a sober sophomore in.
We never stagger
We never fall
We sober up with wood alcohol
While our loyal faculty lies drunk on the barroom floor.

[wolf_meister]

Yes, Mad Magazine wrote some great song parodies. One of my favorites was "News" set to the tune of "Love Is Blue"

News, news it's time for news
Cronkite is here, so what can we lose?
News, news world leaders' views,
Premiere Brezhnev's and Georges Pompidou's

*****************************************
Alan Sherman (as someone previously mentioned) was great at parodies.
One of his best was:
"Won't You Come Home Disraeli ?" (Sung to the tune of "Won't You Come Home Bill Bailey?")

[Jeff Lichtman]

Fight on for old 'S.C.,
The halfback wants his salary.
The ends refuse to play,
Until they get their weekly pay,
From old 'S.C.
Pay up for old 'S.C.!
Pay up!

[Dr. Rieux]

Originally Posted by wolf_meister

Yes, Mad Magazine wrote some great song parodies. One of my favorites was "News" set to the tune of "Love Is Blue"

News, news it's time for news
Cronkite is here, so what can we lose?
News, news world leaders' views,
Premiere Brezhnev's and Georges Pompidou's

*****************************************
Alan Sherman (as someone previously mentioned) was great at parodies.
One of his best was:
"Won't You Come Home Disraeli ?" (Sung to the tune of "Won't You Come Home Bill Bailey?")

I came across that issue of MAD recently at the comics shop. The same article had such gems as:

You may prefer a Character
Like Mickey Mouse or Dumbo
But this guy's real
A true Sclhemiel
And they call this clod Columbo

and

Kung Fu
For highbrows it's groovy
Like some new-wave movie
But much more mystic instead
Kung Fu
For lowbrows there's killin'
They're watchin' the villain
Get several kicks in the head

[Lute Skywatcher]

Originally Posted by Archergal

Mad Magazine spoiled a couple of songs for me. I can't ever hear "You're a Grand Old Flag" without singing to myself:

You're a fat old hag,
You're an unsightly bag,
But you're still my true love, EmmyLou....

The one I know starts off with "She's a mean old bag!/She's a nasty old bag!" but the version I found in Totally MAD has different artwork with it, not the one that I remember.

[N. Sane]

Sung to the tune of "God Bless America"

Please bless my underwear
My only pair
Stand beside them,
and guide them,
through the washer and the dryer back to me.

[racer72]

Another to On Top Of Old Smokey:

On top of old Smoky;
All covered in blood
I stomped my poor teacher's
Face in the mud.

And from Mad, sung to Clemintine:

In the cabinet;
in the bathroom;
O'er the sinks whos faucets shine.
Stand a funny litte bottle
And they call it iodine.

Oh you funny;
Oh you funny;
Oh you funny iodine.
You don't taste good with a cookie
But for booboos your just fine