So, for those who followed my work melodrama stories , I have a fresh batch!
There’s 5 people in my office, how does this even happen. I feel like I’m living in a poorly written soap opera.
So we have a new hire. He’s been in University for 6 years, taking time off for travel. His father owns a brokerage. I’m hoping he’s not a doper, so I’m taking a shot here. I’m going to work in summaries, play along!
Day 1: Newbie Comes to work.
8:15 am: 15 minutes late for work
9:00 am: I take him down to the hardware store underneath us to explain to the owner Newbie is parked in customer parking, not having arranged parking prior to being hired.
9:05 am: 1 hour and 5 minutes past his first day, he asks me to walk with him to get coffee. I reluctantly agree.
9:20: Explanation of the office procedures, including break time. We get 1 hour total break, meaning you have to deduct smoke breaks from your lunch hour. Give him some menial work and ask him to read the manuals I’ve prepared for him.
11:00: Newbie goes to the coffee shop to get more coffee. 5 minute walk each way plus time to make his Mochachino. 20 minutes gone.
11:45: Newbie goes for lunch. I tell him he is to return no later than 10 to 1:00pm
1:10: Newbie returns 20 minutes late
3:30: After explaining in detail another task, he takes the paper from me and proceeds to say “I’m going to knock off and get my internet set up at my new apartment.” Flabbergasted, I walk away.
3:50: Boss catches him, gives a queer look. Newbie apologizes and tells him he is going for coffee (again!). Boss explains we have coffee in the office.
That evening, after I speak to boss, decide to have conversation with Newbie in the morning.
Day Two
9:50: Conversation with Newbie, reiterate all rules, including not taking off during work hours for personal business, no personal calls, break schedule. Explain to newbie that, as he is currently not earning us any money, he is a liability and needs to prove himself.
10:20: Newbie takes off to parking authority to arrange parking and is gone for 30 minutes.
11:50: I leave for lunch, feeling confident that I’ve informed Newbie his lunch is at one, and that I told him to deduct his personal parking time off lunch.
12:20: return from lunch to discover newbie has taken off just after I leave for lunch, I hour and 5 minutes prior to his scheduled time. I figure he’ll be gone 1/2 hour. He comes back at 1:00pm. Total break time during day: 1 hr 40 minutes, minimum.
4:00pm: Reiterating our meeting in writing, giving him a written schedule.
Day Three
Newbie breaks (after 4! times explaining our schedule)
9:00 am: 15 minutes
11:00 am: 10 minutes
12:30 - 1:30: 1 hour, 5 minutes
3 pm: 7 minutes
Total break time: 1 hr 37 minutes.
Work Load, after professing Excel Knowledge:
2 Excel work sheets, one with 23 lines and 5 columns, basic data entry, the other with 15 lines, from 8:30 am until 2:30 pm.
From 2:30 - 4:30:
2 Half page (5 - 10 lines) excel data entry
Stickers on 12 file folders
Filing 5 documents.
Ongoing: Constant cell phone calls in spite of a “no personal calls during work hours” rule, of which he has been notified.
A General review of the week:
Comments from Newbie, who has been here 3 days, never worked as an Agent and has no Insurance knowledge, aside from what he thinks he has gleaned from his father.
“I can’t believe you don’t have a risk manager! I’ve never heard of a broker w/o a risk manager”. Patiently explain to Newbie that with 5 total employees, we neither need nor can afford to hire such a person. I’m entirely convinced he doesn’t know what the term means.
“Let’s just keep this between you and I for now, but I have to bring this up. We have GOT to get a new phone system. This one has GOT to go. My father phoned and he said that if he got our phone system, he would hang up.” Phone system is brand new, and has a voice intro as we have no space for a receptionist. It says, literally: “thank you for calling x. For immediate assistance, press 0. For claims, press one. For a quote, press 2, for personal lines, press 3 and then names 3 other employees.” I then patiently explain to Newbie that, as we have only 5 people… blah blah.
Knocks on my wall and says “You have GOT to get doors”. Patiently explain the design behind open office concept.
Randomn obscure weirdness:
He has used the words “My friend the dentist” 13 times since day 1. For example. I tell him we have a special program for Chiropractors. Before even hearing the details, he leaps in with “What about dentists? My friend, the dentist…”
Looks at cell phone. I ask what he is waiting for since we are currently having a conversation. He says " My drycleaning." I must have looked at him like he was a moron, because he supplemented it with, " My friend the dentist is bringing it from (other province he is from).
Downstairs, smoking and talking with a friend. She mentions her car broke down after her dentists appt. He breaks in, not even knowing her name, with “Who’s your dentist?” And proceeds with, “My friend the dentist…”
First comment I hear from him, while getting coffee, that is not work related:
“Not to sound racist [uh oh, you know this is bad news, I brace myself], I had to leave (former province). By 2012, it’s going to be 75% native.” I seem to have some sort of “speak racist to me” vibe since I appear so white. My father is native.
Second bigoted comment:
“I can’t believe my friend, the dentist, didn’t tell me I was moving in to gay district”.
At this point, I find myself torn between going with the beautiful photo of my mother (who’s white as can be, but can’t the internet work wonders!) in full Native headress, or a lovely picture of my two dads on my desk the next day.\
General Assesment of Newbie:
Papa’s boy. Never worked a day in his life. Arrogant, incompetant and snooty. Useless. A liabilty to me and the company.
Current Mood: Foul.
