WHAT did you call me?

The BBQ Pit
1

I’ve calmed down a lot since this incident took place at 2:00 pm, but I’m still pretty pissed off.

Background:

Cow-orker C got hired about 6 months ago. He’s been an odd duck since the beginning. He hangs around the cubes trying to listen in to any and all conversations. He laughs at inappropriate times. He just rubs people the wrong way, you know? It’s hard to quantify - he’s just kinda weird. My buds and I kind of avoid him when lunchtime comes 'cuz he tends to invite himself along. At lunches we do attend with him, he’s very - um - needy and sorta piggish. This one time, he ordered the soup and sandwich, which came with chips too, and when he was done he asked for more chips. The waitress brought them, but I thought it was odd to ask for more. It probably sounds like I’m the weird one.

Anyway.

My company used to have 9-80 work periods. (Work 9 hour days 8 days out of 10, 8 hours on one Friday, and have the other Friday off.) About a year ago, my department stopped having them, mostly because management thought we weren’t covering our stuff well enough on days off.

So. They decided they would bring them back (which was necessary to keep us from getting real pissed because the rest of the company still had 9-80’s.)

The caveat being that we would have a backup person that would know our stuff on our Friday off, just in case.

So I’m sure you can guess who was assigned as my backup . Right. But that’s ok, I tell myself. I can deal.

And then I find out he’s on the B-team, which has payday Fridays off. Payday Fridays fall on 6 days that are either holidays, or Fridays before holidays. When a Friday off falls on a holiday, the day off moves up to the day before. For example, the Friday after Thanksgiving falls on a payday, so you would get the Wednesday before Thanksgiving off - without having to take a vacation day. Are you still with me?

I have been at this company for 10 years. He has been here 6 months. I asked him nicely if he would trade. He declined. At first, I’m thinking so what, be nice, don’t make waves. But then I thought about my seniority, and I thought I deserve to be able to pick my Friday off (as long as it doesn’t conflict with some other management decision.)

So this morning I went in to my supervisor’s office and asked - nicely - for B team. And explained that I thought my seniority should govern…blah blah blah. I stated my case. My boss didn’t say yea or nay - so I just went to work.

I had a long meeting from 10:30 to 12:30, then most of the attendees went to lunch - my boss (who wasn’t at the meeting) joined us.

When we got back, my boss, another co-worker, and I were walking up the stairs, and C was walking down. He said, and I most definitely quote, “Well, you got your way. Fucking coward.” He said that in front of my - and his - boss!

OMG! I was livid! My boss tried to calm me down, and said he would talk to him. Layer this afternoon, boss said he had been reprimanded. I asked if he meant “officially, in his file” and he said yes. But he also said that “it wasn’t directed at me really - he was just mad at the situation.” What a fucking crock.

I can’t believe C said anything in the first place! What a dumbass! And what the fuck was “coward” all about? I asked him, he said no, I went over his head. Nothing cowardly.

And now this guy has to be my backup next year. Oh, joy.

2

Frankly, if what he said mirrored: “it wasn’t directed at me really - he was just mad at the situation,” HE is the fucking coward.

3

Obviously, it was directed at you personally. And of course he was mad at the situation. He was also mad at you.

Maybe what your boss was trying to convey is that you shouldn’t take it too personally. After all, what he said to you didn’t make any sense. He could have called you a “fucking hero” and conveyed as much information.

You knew he would be pissed, didn’t you? After all, he had said no to your request and you had pulled rank. What you didn’t expect what his hissy fit. Just be glad that it was in the presence of someone who could do something about it.

You won this one. Let it go.

4

You don’t like him. You and your established friends avoid him. You think it’s weird that he got an extra bag of chips. You saw he had a better deal than you and pulled rank and got your fucking way.
I’d say that was pretty ballsy of him to tell you what he thought to your face.

5

Okay - another example.

One time an engineer asked him to do some Autocad work. Autocad is a pretty basic type of software we use to do 2D graphics like hydraulic schematics. He refused, with mega-attitude - “because that’s Dolores’ work”! (“That’s woman’s work” was the attitude I was told about by my good friend.) We all have to do Autocad - not the premiere software package - because we all do everything!

I know it’s difficult to convey another’s vibes here, but trust me, it’s not just me that thinks he’s “off.” And it’s not fair for the newbie to get the “good” off days!

6

Well, was it your work? And your good friend, she’s a good reporter, right? Did she mimic him when she told you?
I can see the wagons circling. I feel sorry for the poor sod.

7

My friend is a he.

And I hope C goes to work at your company and latches on to you. I used to feel sorry for him, too.

I’m not articulate enough to convey to you his “outsiderness.” His attitide, which is decidely not team-oriented. And his misogynistic, “I am the greatest” attitude. Did I tell you he says he can break a man’s jaw one handed? He brags about that. He’s 6’4 and 350 lb. He has said out loud that he thinks he can run circles around us “old-timers” (designers). The man is an asshole.

8

That’s basically exactly what I wanted to say. Get out of my brain, Biggirl! shakes fist

And I don’t think that calling you a “fucking coward” is necessary, but what do you call going over his head because he (completely reasonably) refused your request? And showed up on the day you wanted, even though your boss “didn’t say yea or nay”? That’s childish at best.

Sometimes seniority means fuck-all. Quite often, in fact.

9

I need to apologize to you, Biggirl. I’m sounding quite antagonistic towards you, and you don’t have all the facts. You only know what little I have told you.
You are totally entitled to your opinion. But I may not have told you every little detail about this annoying butthead. I’ll try to rectify <snerk> that.

10

Fridays off don’t start until next year.

11

No need to explain how annoying he is. He probably is very, very annoying. Everyone will probably end up not liking him and he may probably bring a lot of it on himself. Like calling you a fucking coward in front of your boss-- he obviously has a problem with social interactions if he thinks cursing you out in front of the boss was a good idea. He was just good and mad.

I work at drama central. I’ve seen these things played out over and over. Don’t worry, your side will probably win and weirdo guy will be a social outcast who nobody likes. I just feel sorry for the poor sod.

12

Truthfully - so do I. But he’s still - him.

And I still don’t understand what “coward” meant to him. I went to him first. Does it make me a coward to use the means at my disposal?

Oh - another example. <sorry :)>

We were talking about where to go to lunch. Someone suggested El Diablo. He pops his head up - I swear it’s uncanny - and says “so-and-so and I were going there”! So we end up meeting for lunch at El Diablo. Afterward, he sends an email to my friend R (mentioned earlier) that “he’s so glad that R joined them for a “group” lunch…” Sorry - too weird. It wasn’t even a “department only” group lunch - there was no reason to send a thank you note, for Og’s sake!

13

So the guy is an outsider, doesn’t get along, probably isn’t enjoying the job and he gets one good thing and you took it from him and you don’t even understand why he is angry.

Sounds like you were within your rights to request the better shift, but why be so surprised he is angry. He should be angry. Unfortunately he is also very unprofessional, but no matter how much of a creep you think he is, at least understand that you basically pulled seniority and screwed him over.
Sounds like a good reason to be angry to me.

Jim

14

I do understand. But you don’t call a co-worker (or cow-orker) a “fucking coward” in front of both our boss and not expect some freakin’ fall-out!

I came here to vent.

15

And this would be an example of. . .assholishness?

He sent a thank you note when you think it wasn’t necessary, and for that you’re ridiculing him. Wow.

You may have come here to vent, but get a grip. If I had to pick who was the bigger asshole. . .I’d have a hard time.

16

Ok Cool, as I said very unprofessional of him. Vent away, just wanted to make sure there was an understanding of why he went off. (It obviously wasn’t needed)
I would guess from your description, he will exit the company on his own within the year.

Jim

17

Could be that you were just the straw that broke his camel’s back.

Our division’s holiday party is tomorrow. I’m on the party committee, being the guy who is going to provide the music. This afternoon, I was listening to a bitcast from a St. Louis radio station and noticed a woman yelling. She was all “fuck this” and “fuck that”, then I realize it was a co-worker across a cubicle wall from me and she was apparently going off because a fellow committee member dared talk about the party. I’m not sure exactly what went on but I suspect that he said something about those who didn’t pay (this is a catered party) should stay away from the food. This wasn’t the first time that a committee member mentioned such a thing.

The woman–I’m not sure who it was because I tried to tune it out–might have been D. D is the division’s complainer. Before we were allowed to have headphones, I had volunteered to bring in my Christmas CDs and play them on my computer. D complained, called my CDs “elevator music”–even though they spanned all genres–and once shut off the music because “nobody was listening.” The next year, I tried to appease her by buying more CDs but it didn’t work. She still complained. I got fed up, decided to pack up my CDs and let someone else take over.

Earlier this year, I was given a supervisory duty, which involves data entry work being randomly sent to me to check for errors. If I find errors, I make a note of the errors and send the document back to whoever was reponsible for it. D is a data entry clerk–when she’s not goofing off by being on the phone or surfing lottery websites for the next number to play. When she found out what I was doing, she complained, threatened to go to he boss (who gave me this duty in the first place), then the Union. I told her to go right ahead and that I’m going to keep reviewing data entry work until I hear otherwise. It’s been about 9 months and I still haven’t heard otherwise.

Today, whoever it was going “fuck this”, “fuck that”, “nobody wants to go to the party 'cause they’re all motherfuckers”, etc. did so for quite a while, even after one of the supervisors came by to see what all the noise was about.

You never can tell with people this time of year. Anything will set 'em off, even a simple holiday party that won’t take place until the next day, and they won’t care who’s listening.

18

I don’t think it was the thank you note. He invited himself to their lunch.

19

Is anybody else picturing the socially awkward co-worker as Dwight Shrute from “The Office?”

20

I read it as he was planning to go there with someone else, and the rest of the work group suggested it as a place for lunch after that, so he spoke up and mentioned his plans. The OP doesn’t provide further details about whether he invited himself or invited the group to eat with them or what. “He invited himself to their lunch” is not apparent in the post, to me at least.