For some reason on the drive home today I was thinking about the scene in ‘Cheers’ where Diane and Frasier were in a restaurant (in Europe, I think), and the waiter was trying to take their order even thought he was broken up over the death of the head chef. Yeah, that description does nothing for the scene, but it was hysterical at the time. And who played that waiter, I’m sure it wasn’t an unknown bit actor, but I can’t remember who it was.
Anyway, what a great show, I know there’s more fans of the show than me here. What was your favorite bit?
OK, the waiter was Martin Ferrero, but I’m not sure what I knew him from at the time. Maybe Miami Vice. He was lawyer in ‘Jurassic Park’, but that was much later of course.
The episode where Sam proposes to Diane and winds up in court. “You mean to stay out of jail I have to propose to her even though we wouldn’t be here if she had said yes to any of my three previous prposals?”
Where the not-yet-dating Frasier and Lilith appear on a dull talk show and wind up speaking entirely in double-entendres and playing footsie with each other.
Frasier’s bachelor party, when the gang hires a stripper who turns out to be one of Frasier’s patients.
The one where Sam is on a talk show with Lilith about “bad boys and women who love them” and Frasier gets jealous and decides to be a “bad boy.” When he runs through the bar with scissors yelling “I’m running with scissors” - well that always makes me laugh.
Ooo, I just thought of another: When Norm becomes the “Angel of Death” and has to fire people - and in the end he calls his boss up and says “This is Noorrrrm Petteerrsooon”
That one is my all-time favorite! When Diane made everyone in the bar watch it, they all groaned. When the show was over and the “If you would like a transcript of this show…” announcement came on, everybody went crazy trying to write down the address.
Runner-up: When Cliff gets on Jeopardy. He stinks in the first round, and then the second round categories come up: “Civil servants,” “Stamps from around the world,” “Mothers and sons,” “Beer,” “Bar trivia,” and “Celibacy.” Hysterical!
The heard-only-in-the-background conversation about the subtext of Coyote vs. the Roadrunner: “Well, could you eat a gunpowder sandwich?” “I suppose you think the coyote is the Anti-Christ!”
Frasier and Lilith playing footsie on the talk show, definitely.
For me, though, my #1 Cheers moment is Frasier trying to get the gang interested in classic literature, and spicing up A Tale of Two Cities with bloody clowns in the sewers and the like. “And as Sydney Carton climbed into the Apache helicopter, he turned and said, ‘Tis a far better butt-kicking I give, than ever I have butt-kicked!’”
Diane: Dr., there’s still one thing you haven’t considered…
Dr. Simon Finch-Royce: Ok; Sam, Diane, you two are perfect together. I’m sorry I made a mistake before but you are the most perfectly matched couple ever. But, why am I telling this to you? Let’s share it with the rest of the world.
[opens window]
Dr. Simon Finch-Royce: Hear this, world. The rest of you can stop getting married. It’s been done to perfection. Envy them, sofa, envy them, chair, for you shall never be as cozy as they for their union shall be an epoch-shattering success and I STAKE MY LIFE ON IT. Wait a moment, let me get this on record
[talks into his tape recorder]
Dr. Simon Finch-Royce: “I, Dr. Simon Finch-Royce, being of sound mind and body declare that Sam and Diane shall be happy together throughout all eternity and if I am wrong I promise I will take my own life in the most disgusting manner possible.” Here, take the tape, NO, take the whole machine. It’s my wedding gift to you. The most perfect couple since the DAWN of TIME.
Diane: [turns to Sam] See?
Norm gets a job in a brewery. They tell him to slow down and taste the beer - which he does - then he says “Does anyone else know about this tasting thing?”
I liked the episode when Norm became an interior decorator, but had to pretend to be gay, because the clients didn’t believe a straight man could do that.
Does anyone remember the episode where Cliffy was trying to be less of a jerk and they had him on a remote controlled zapper (like an invisible fence dog collar). Well at the end of the Show Carla got hold of it and was zapping him almost non-stop.
Cliff falls in love with a new letter carrier, who is every bit as anal about her job as is Cliff. New letter carrier, wanting to make a rendevous with Cliff on time, steals a Mail Truck. She is fired and takes a job delivering mail in Canada.
Cliff: Canada? That’s a whole other country.
NLC: The mail knows no national boundries, Cliff.
Coach needs to get his driver’s license renewed, and opts to go to Vermont, because they don’t require an eye test.
Later on, the phone rings. Sam answers it. It’s Coach, and they talk for a minute. The call ends with Sam saying something to the extent of, “Well, that’s great, Coach. We’re all real proud of you.” Sam then hangs up the phone.
There was one episode where Norm decided he wanted to be a hardass with his painters, but he didn’t want them to hate him, so he created a fictional identity to be the hardass, while Norm was supposedly just the poor schmuck who had to pass on his orders.
Eventually, the guys were going to kill the fictional boss, so Norm pretended he’d been fired to try to keep them from finding out about the ruse. (Something like that, I’m fuzzy on it, it occurs.)
So, Norm says ‘well, I guess you can come work for me again…’ but the painters decide they’d rather stay with the hardass, because he was the real brains of the operation.
The entire episode was gold, but that was my favourite bit.
My favourites (Frasier introduces the gang to Charles Dickens; the John Cleese episode) have already been documented, but I have a fondness for one bit that took place after Nicolas Colasanto’s death, explaining his character’s absence (dialog recreated from memory, probably wildly incorrectly):
Sam: [reading a letter] Got a letter from Coach. He’s enjoying his family reunion.
Norm: Coach went to a family reunion?
Sam: Sure. He sent us a photo. [gives it to Norm]
Norm: [pause] Sam, why is everyone in the photo except Coach black?
Sam: Well, he got an invite by mistake and didn’t want to offend anybody, so he went anyway.
Norm: Well, they seem to have accepted him.
Sam: Yeah, he’s been going for ten years. Next year they’re holding it at his place. Look, he signed it “Yours truly, Uncle Whitey.”
Also, Frasier and Lilith tearfully announce that their son’s intelligence is testing only (choke!) average, inviting hoots of derision at their pretentiousness. Lilith objects to this response.
Frasier: Oh, really, Lilith, you weren’t expecting any sympathy here in Mayberry, were you?
Also, at Cheers’ 100th anniversary party, an old guy collapses in the pool room. Lilith, then heavily pregnant, heads back to treat him.
Frasier: Oh, that’s great, Lilith. You’ll revive the man by having a baby on him!
The best part of that one was Rebecca’s reaction when the old man tells her the bar used to be a house of ill repute (or at least somewhere to hook up with women of negotiable virtue.)