Booger, fellow babies.

The BBQ Pit
1

For a little background on where my anger is coming from, in this case, please see this thread.

So my office is almost deserted. The salad I had for lunch is kicking up a rumpus, so I head to my local drainhole to do something about it. There’s already someone in stall number one doing his best to make my gorge rise by putyfying the air, but hey – we’re all bozos on this bus, so I enter Inner Sanctum #2.

Seat liner is placed, trow is dropped, bum is sat upon … and I freeze.

Someone has wiped their boogers on the stall wall.

Thrice.

YOU PATHETIC PIECE OF SHIT! YOU’RE SITTING, IMMOBILE, IN A 3 X 5 CELL WITH NOTHING BUT TISSUE PAPER FOR COMPANY, AND YOU HAVE TO DO THIS?!? Did you purposefully commit this act to express your disdain and contempt for your fellow workers to the point that you have to display your congealed nose-drippings as self-expression, or are you so fuckingly pig-ignorant, that it didn’t occur to you as you sat there pushing brown that other people may not want to look at your Krusty Nuggets? You fucking bollox! I had to sit there and do my bid’ness, all the time avoiding looking at these dried-out wall clingers, a foot and a half (or so) from my face, and it absolutely repulsed me. Why didn’t you just wipe your feces on the back wall as well, seeing as how it’s an obvious strain and/or inconvenience for you to use the toilet paper? If you’re at the level of pick-and-wipe, why didn’t you just consumate your mining experience and eat the motherlode as well?

Just ogdam gross, man. I’m rapidly losing faith.

2

Be glad it was just boogers instead of a “number eleven.”

3

Number eleven? What’s a number eleven?

4

Kung Pao Chicken.

5

A number eleven is when some jerk decides he doesn’t need to use toilet paper. He then uses two fingers and wipes those fingers on the wall.

Yes, it’s quite gross.

6

I find it disturbing that such a thing is so common that it has a NAME.

7

People actually use those seat liners?

8

That’s just plain fucking antisocial. All he had to do was pluck two or three squares of TP for his boogers and then toss them into the bowl when finished. What the fuck is with some people?

9

I sat down in a stall in my old office bathroom to find the stall wall had been written and doodled on.

In blood.

Og, I hated that job.

10

Oh, hell yeah! Seriously, read my earlier thread about the toilet habits of my company-mates. I don’t trust them to not have crapped all over the seats at some point, so I like to get something between my heinie and the sitting-surface.

11

And this kind of post is why I keep coming back to this place. Well, this and the goat and squid orgies.

12

Here’s hoping that this asshat was actually trying to perform a number eleven; only to have it go horribly wrong

13

I learned its name from my First Sergeant in Germany way back in 1981 or 1982.