My friend Ed had last week off, and he spent it with his young daughters, ages 6 and 4. While driving back home from a matinee, the young ladies became quarrelsome. Tiring of the exchange, my friend contacted OnStar, his navigation/rescue service.
Activating the device, he quickly got a response.
“Yes, Dr. Ed! How can I help you?”
“I’ve got two naughty girls in the car and I need to report them to Santa immediately!”
Fortunately the OnStar operator played along with him, and “made ready to file a report.” This did have the intended effectof immediately making both girls plead for mercy and promise good behavior. So my friend Ed relented, told the OnStar operator to hold the report for now, but keep it on file just in case.
If you’re gonna have your kids believe in Santa, might as well get some leverage from the belief, no?
So instead of rescuing stranded motorists, he did funs on the job. :rolleyes: All in the name of coercing behavior by telling people they’re under 24-hour surveillance by some supernaturally powerful white bearded daddy figure. Just skip this part and cough up the presents already, Daddy O!
To be fair, OnStar isn’t just emergency service. They have a push-button help feature that can give directions, tell you about nearby restaurants, etc. I suspect that was more fun for the operator than figuring out what Italian restaurants were in the area for the Nth time.
Sorry, the political implications of the Santa mythos are just too Orwellian for me. (The challenges of raising anarchist kids would make a whole other thread in itself.)
At least he didn’t threaten to send them to “Room 101”, or invite them to assist the Ministry of Information to help with their enquiries. :eek:
That might be a bit over the top. As it is, I think this one will make for a modestly entertaining/embarassing story once the girls reach the age of majority. On the 1-10 scale of emotional abuse that parents levy against children, I think this rates about a .25.
Yeah, but still, do you think OnStar would be willing to release their files on all those *other *naughty girls, over the age of 18, that live in the San Diego area?
