Finish the Dan Brown Parody

[Maus_Magill]

Inspired by this thread. I hope Bryan Ekers, Brain Wreck, and LiveOnAPlane don’t mind me quoting them.

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Fact: The Trilateral commission has been engaged in a covert operation to control the flow of herbal seasonings, called “The thyme for all seasons”

Fact: The achiest Egyptian architect cum priest cum god, Imhotep, had discovered the secret blend of seven herbs and spices for perfect fried chicken and had the recipe buried with him.

@Bryan Ekers

Don’t sweat the physics; just be descriptive of the aftereffect. The character doesn’t have to die instantly. He can have a few moments when he tries to get up and move but feels something inside his body pull sharply, sending him dizzyingly back to his knees. His mouth fills with blood, making him cough a red spray over the backs of his hands. His fingers shake, smearing the tiny puddles, staining the floor. His eyes try to follow the patterns but can’t focus. His head turns toward the sounds of running footsteps, concerned bystanders closing in on him. He tries to tell them he’s okay, tries to tell them anything, but collapses on his side instead. His shattered ribs grind and creak but he can no longer hear them.

@Brain Wreck

But just before he died, he hacked up a piece of thyme and spit it on the sidewalk, where it landed with a wet plop in exactly in the shape of a pyramid.

@LiveOnAPlane

Well, yes, but was it a 3-sided pyramid or a 4-sided pyramid?

@Brain Wreck

@LiveOnAPlane

Well, yes, but was it a 3-sided pyramid or a 4-sided pyramid?

… thought Dr. Goodguy as he stroked his rugged but handsome chin on the way to the secret Trilateral headquarters bunker in the center of the earth on a supersonic black helicopter, which had appeared out of the earth in an almost supernatural way.

"I must contact my mentor, Judas McArnold, who’d never, ever betray me. Nope, not in a million years. He taught me everything there is to know about achiest Egyptian cooking, and he would be more than happy to help me find out what the Obviously evil Trilateral Commission is up to.

[Exapno_Mapcase]

Already been done. Check out The Dick Cheney Code: A Parody, by Henry Beard.

[lissener]

I’d love to participate, but I just can’t write that bad.

[Maus_Magill]

@Maus Magill

Fact: The achiest Egyptian architect…
"I must contact my mentor, Judas McArnold, who’d never, ever betray me. Nope, not in a million years. He taught me everything there is to know about achiest Egyptian cooking…

sigh

achiest=ancient

Stupid giving up coffee for Lent.

[Maus_Magill]

One bump before I allow this to slide into the abyss.

Is there no one who wants to shoehorn the obvious Love Interest for Dr. Goodguy?

How about the Director of the Trilateral Commission, Red McHerring?

Doesn’t any one want to introduce the horridly sadistic henchman with the unusual physical characteristic, Boris Legbreaker?

At least treat us to the tacked on love scene in the final chapter.

[Liberal]

I would participate, but I don’t get it. Sorry.