Mysterious black sarcophagus opened in Egypt, releasing hideous (possibly toxic) stench

From the BBC: Egypt sarcophagus: Mystery black tomb opened in Alexandria


Oh, of course you’re “fine”, Mr. Waziri! It’s the rest of us who are doomed–doomed, I tell you, DOOMED!

(Even more so than we already were, I mean.)

I’ve released some lethal toxic fumes in my time, but I didn’t kill anyone. As far as I know.

… Yet!

The eldritch evil NEVER kills the defiler, he’s the host!!! Watch three weeks from now his secretary is going to be all “Mr. Waziri is very ill, he hasn’t been to the office in weeks.” Tom Cruise should go shove a bronze sword through his heart now as a preemptive strike!

Who knew that the ancient Egyptians actually invented the Dutch oven?

Yes… it seems to have gotten pretty dark around here in the last few hours…

I’ll call Poirot, someone get some curse repellant. I ain’t scared.

I was reading these posts and wondering if you might be in de Nile?

Thousands of years old body smells bad. Who would have guessed?

Wonder if the gas might have been tana leaf fumes.

Turns out it was quite modern sewage that they think leaked in through a crack in the sarcophagus

Here’s a news story:

It’s not the mummies that smell, it’s the antique sewage they’ve been soaking in for the last few decades.

Sounds like the start of a real tasty curse, if you ask me.

Indiana Jones and the Sarcophagus of Poop.

A couple of the skulls look as though they may have suffered violent injury, perhaps in battle. One has a hole that looks like it might have been caused by a penetrating arrow or spear. Another skull has a big hole, and the missing piece of cranium looks as though it’s there next to it, perhaps lopped off by a sword or something similar.

Are we sure they didn’t actually find SCP-076?

Oh, it’s light again, now. Phew!

Carnac the Magnificent: May the sewage from one thousand infidels flood your sarcophagus.
Ed McMahon: Hiyoooo!

Well now, you know, There are some people who are suing to be allowed to drink the magical, supernatural energy drink that they believe it to be. I think they should let them as long as they are allowed to film it. From one guy, paraphrased: It can’t be sewage. Skeletons don’t poop. You can’t fool me. Sounds right to me.

“I was the first to put my whole head inside the sarcophagus,” he said to the woman at the bar, a roguish twinkle in his eye. That line NEVER failed him.