People you are glad aren't in your life anymore

In My Humble Opinion
1

My friend and I were just chatting on MSN when we arrived at the topic of people in our past that we are oh so very glad not to be in contact anymore. I don’t have many people like that, most people I’ve lost contact with was simply because we grew apart.

Although, one person came immediately to mind. She was someone I thought was my best friend, but after befriending a friend of hers, I found out what a lying scumbag she was. Not that there weren’t clues before. The most transparent thing she did was a schtick where she “played dumb”. When she knew perfectly well that she was getting caught in a web of lies, she would put on her “stupid face” and pretend to be confused by the words people used, saying that she didn’t understand what they meant and could they explain it clearer. Most of the time, people get so wrapped up in explaining what they meant, they just give up and let the lies continue. Unfortunately, I fell victim to that several times before I figured it out after the friendship fell apart.

That’s by far the worst thing she did though. She wasn’t very pretty, not unattractive, but definitely a 5 on a scale of 1 to 10. Somehow, she deluded herself into thinking that every guy in the world had the hots for her and she “confessed” to me that she had an urge to cheat on the only nice boyfriend she ever had and the more she told herself that she couldn’t cheat on him and mess it up, the more she needed to cheat on him. She ended up cheating on him. Combined with some pretty evident self esteem issues, arrogance even when completely ignorant, and unreliability, it didn’t take me long to realise that she was pretty messed up and total drama piled up miles high, so eventually, I decided to cease contact with her.

Last I heard of her, she was telling some mutual friends that I threw a fit and forbade my boyfriend from speaking to her. They were also sort of friends but he witnessed the same things I did during that period of her life and it was his own choice to get out of her drama too. Of course, the mutual friends know both her character and my character well, and know that when it comes down it it, I wouldn’t forbid anyone to be her friend. So by trying to make me look bad, she made herself look worse. Other than that, she doesn’t come up in coversations much and is pretty much out of my life. YAY!!!

I love hearing stories about getting rid of psycho hose beasts in people’s life. I don’t know what, it’s just a sick pleasure I have, so it would please me greatly to hear about how glad you are that your friend/cousin/ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend/brother/sister/etc. is no longer in your life and why!

2

Weeeeeellllll…
There’s a couple.

#1. Co-worker. I’m going to say her name, I don’t care if she does know it’s me. It’s spelled Caryn, just like that.
This girl lied and backstabbed everybody in our department. We were a small, close-knit customer services group, and she came in as a huge rift right in the middle. She told one of the girls that every day she would wake up and decide who to pick a fight with that day.
She stopped taking birth control pills without telling her boyfriend so he would marry her. She even admitted this to us.
When she got pregnant, she scheduled all of her appointments during working hours. Now we were customer service, as I said, which meant someone always had to cover. So we were constantly one short. And if we said anything, she’d run crying to the boss. They were afraid to fire her because she was pregnant…she didn’t let her real personality show to the bosses until she was pregnant.
They finally were able to fire her when they caught her stealing.

#2. My best friend’s cousin. She was jealous of me being her cousin’s best friend. Before I came along, she had no competition for her affections. Me and R got along so well, that she hated me and did everything she could to separate us. Unfortunately it worked…I no longer have to see the cousin, but I no longer see my best friend either. :frowning:

#3. Sigh. My mother…who is…well, I’ve got plenty of threads around here about her, but she is controlling, manipulative, master of the guilt trip, selfish, and told me constantly how I was only her “duty” (I was adopted) and not a real daughter. She’s not out of my life but I only let her in on MY terms and do not interact with her more than is healthy for me. I put my foot down on that a long time ago and have only very carefully allowed her back in even a little.

3

My mother. I haven’t talked to her in 13 years. She hasn’t seen my son since he was a month old (he’s 16) and she’s never seen my daughter.

I got tired of her manipulations, sent her a very nasty Go to Hell letter, and never regretted it for a second.

4

My father, and if it’s all right, I wouldn’t like to get into the reasons why. You can probably imagine what they are and be at least partly right. I didn’t speak to him from 1976 until he died about three or four years ago - I can’t remember, and I’m not interested in remembering. I didn’t go to his funeral, and I didn’t send any flowers.

A department head where I work. He came in with little practical experience despite having worked elsewhere in the same position. I’ve since learned that he is what is known as a Serial Bully. It might have been here that someone posted a link to a site that desribed the personality traits of a Serial Bully, and it was this guy all over. He caused damage to his department, to its public and professional credibility, and he prevented me from working with his department for two years. He turned one of his employees against me by lying to her about me. Actually, he told a lot of lies to everyone. Anyway, she never spoke to me again, and didn’t say goodbye when she quit recently.

Serial Bullies analyze the people around them to see who they can mess with, and the ones who can see through their bullshit. They isolate and interfere with potential detractors. His whole department went en masse to the GM to air their grievances and demand his removal. Several months later, he was fired. We are so relieved at his absence. The atmosphere at work was a total drag from the day he came until the day he left. It has taken his department many months to repair the damage he did, but they appear to be coming out of it.

5

A former boss of mine who lied and manipulated and talked down to us in front of customers and threw temper tantrums. She didn’t know even the most basic skills, having gotten the job by being best friends with the previous manager for 20 years. When I think back on some of the shit she pulled, I wonder how she ever made it past high school.

6

Juuuust about everyone I know from my old home town, and everyone I went to high school with, with the exception of a few. Very few. As in, under a dozen few.*

Lessee… Boner, Adam, Adam, Gord, Tab, Simon, Jen, Nick, Teresa… yeah, that’s about nine. And that’s about it. Maybe one or two more folks I’d like to see again. The rest can go to hell. Or not. Whatever keeps them out of my life is good. Right now, distance is working like a charm.

    • Does not include my family. Well, immediate family plus my grandmother and her boyfriend. I don’t like the rest of my family either, they’re insane religious nuts. Well, my mother is, too, but she’s my mother.
7

I think I worked for her, too (or someone just like her.) My boss was constantly trying to stir up fights among the staff-- she would report that so-and-so was talking about you behind your back. (Unfortunately for her, we were all a pretty friendly group and would ask that person if they had said what she reported before flying off the handle.)

The people I’m most glad are (mostly) gone from my life are my two cousins. Both are losers with a capital “L”. One is a lying, manipulative schemer, and the other is so depsperate to get high he’ll drink mouthwash if he can’t get anything else. Both of them fully intend to go through life living on what they can mooch from others. One of them shows up at any holiday family gathering which involves presents, but can’t be bothered other times. (I wouldn’t give her a cup of piss, but other relatives feel compelled because she’s “family.”) The other one is not invited, because I don’t feel like having to lock up every chemical, medication and pawnable valuable in the house prior to his arrival.

8

My ex-step-father. I would rather not have to explain why.

9

I shared a cubicle with a guy who was so two-faced, it wasn’t even funny. He was a preacher’s kid, and he started each day reading from his bible at his desk. Then he’d close the book, and promptly forget any good things he may have read.

I listened to him tell someone on the phone that some documents had gone out in the mail - while the selfsame documents were sitting right in front of him on his desk. I heard him frequently mock and torment a much older man in the office. (OK, so Earl wasn’t Mr. Congeniality himself, but be was quite easily ignored - I did it for years.) Cubemate and I worked together on a design project and I came up with a particularly clever solution to a problem we were having - yet when he was discussing the design with a manager, my name never seemed to come up.

He was also extremely shallow - he couldn’t possibly be interested in a woman who was less than a super model, although she couldn’t be a smart as he was, and she certainly couldn’t be divorced, or a non-Christian. I’ll give him this - he married a divorcee with a daughter, and they eventually adopted a couple of sons, so he apparently grew up a little. Another shallow trait - he was a mechanical engineer, graduated from West Virginia Univ. But he wore his father’s Univ of Florida school ring - he was embarrassed by his alma mater.

He and I were up for promotion at the same time, along with 8 or 9 coworkers. I knew I wasn’t the most qualified, and I didn’t expect to get it. I did find out I rated higher than he did, yet he got the job, over me, two minorities, and a guy who was very good at his job and very honest about problems with the system; ergo, very disliked by management. Then a few months later, he quit, and management decided they wouldn’t fill his vacancy.

I don’t miss him at all.

10

What on earth is a psycho hose beast? :wally

11

Oooh, a crazy ex-friend!

She fixated on me: One week I would be the best person on earth (the pedestal phase), the next week I was the most awful person in the world. Once, on vacation, she became offended because I had sat in the chair next to her bed in her hotel room rather than on the bed next to her to chat. She immediately packed and drove 300 miles home (leaving me to rent a car to get home).

Everything I said to her she analyzed in-depth and would spend hours telling me how an offhand, normal (to anyone else) remark I had made had deeply offended and wounded her. It got to the point where anything I said beyond “hello, how are you?” was material for her neurotic obsessions.

I did feel for her, as it became clear that she was dealing with heavy-duty mental health issues, and she did some really wonderful things for me at a time in my life that I was struggling just to put Ramen Noodles on the table. However, I finally had to cut her loose as her obsessions with my every word and action increased in leaps and bounds.

12

Cicero, the use of the putz smiley, when directed at other posters, is considered a personal insult, and as such, should not be used outside the Pit. Don’t do this again. Thanks.

13

That was directed to myself, to show my ignorance of the term. Apologies if I have offended anyone- in five years here, it is the first I have heard of this.

14

OK, no problem. It wasn’t an official warning, just a reminder. Or, apparently, a notification. :slight_smile:

15

The term hose beast is used to describe a person (generally female) who will screw anything. The psycho should be self explanatory.
So puttiing it together we have a crazy fucking bitch.

16

My ex wife. Still claims I owe her back child support despite my proof all has been paid in full.

My brother. Has used my name multiple times when he has gotten in trouble with the law. I have been to various courts over the past 10 years to clear my name and I am getting tired of it. If I ever see him again he will regret the day.

17

My ex-best friend.

It was an entirely one-way friendship. She was (and probably still is) addicted to drama. She’s a psychologist and after analyzing herself, decided she was a narcissist. She would use that as her excuse for all of her melodramatic, self-centered behavior. “Oh, you know me, I’m a narcissist. Hahaha!” Um, honey, that’s a bad thing. Don’t you think you ought to work on that?

Despite the fact that she was in a career that involved listening to other peoples’ problems, she absolutely, positively never listened to me at all. When she had a problem, she’d call me and go over every single detail, agonize over what to do, and I’d try to be a good friend and listen, try to give what advice I could, whatever. But on any number of occasions, I’d tell her about what was going on in my life, and her conversation filler showed she wasn’t listening to me at all. Like, once I told her about how I’d gotten into a fender bender driving my friend’s car. At the end of the story, she said “Oh, so you don’t have any wheels now? Sucks.” Um, not only was it my friend’s car, I’d been in a bad car accident several months previous in which my own car had been totalled. It had been pretty traumatic for me, and I couldn’t believe that my supposed best friend was unable to keep up that much. Pissed off, I said something like, “And you listen to people for a living?” She said “Well, you don’t pay me.”

Not much later, she accused me of being racist (yes, I hate Asian people, that’s why I’ve been best friends with you, a Chinese-American, for ten years!), and disgusted, I took her off my LiveJournal friend’s list. (The 21st century method of dumping your friend!) She reciprocated, and we haven’t spoken since.

I honestly do not miss her at all. The last few years we were friends, I usually left her company angry or annoyed or both. I can’t believe I spent that much time on her.

18

An ex-assistant nurse manager where I work. She was hired (and the one who hired her is still there and still above me). As soon as the ink was dry on her promotion, she gabbed to the nurses on our sister unit (I work stepdown, she gabbed to ICU) that she had a list. On the list were the three nurses she was gonna get rid of first: I was number 3.

#1 on the list got wind of this(it still boggles my mind that she thought she could act like this and get away with it) and confronted her with it. What #1 said was classic:“We were here before you came and we will be here when you are gone.”

She messed with some narcotics and tried to get me in trouble for it. FYI: in nursing, jobs come and go. But mess with controlled substances, and that is your license. Everyone can be fired for one thing or another, but to lose your license? Whole nother ballgame. You don’t mess with narcs, period. (or I don’t, anyway).

She also once threatened me with physical violence (“I’m gonna meet you in the parking lot one night and deal with you.”) after I told #2 on the list to stand up to her bullying.

She was absolute pond scum and it gives me great pleasure to state that shortly after she was given the option of resigning(!), she died. Good riddance.

I have no respect for the woman who hired her, btw, but that’s another thread…

19

Kyla --she sounds alot like my ex best friend. Friends since age 7. When I got married, she had BRIEFLY dated the Best man and they were broken up–I mean like a year prior to the wedding. She had the gall to ask me how long the aisle was that she had to walk down with him!

And then my sister died, quite suddenly-not completely unexpected(she had been gravely ill, but was recuperating), but still. She left a message on my machine that was so rude-I still seethe over it (this was 8 years ago). She said that she had gotten my message re my sister and that she hadn’t called back because she had been in bed with the flu. She then described in detail every last symptom she had. At the end of the message, she said, “oh, and sorry about your sister.”
I broke off all contact. When my second sister died 18 months ago, I didn’t bother to call her.*

*we grew up neighbors, so our families knew each other. I didn’t bother to tell them about the second death.
I don’t miss her. What I miss is the someone who shared my girlhood. She was always selfish and shallow.

20

Oh my god. That’s…unbelievable.

Yeah. I don’t think even my ex-best friend would be that self-centered. Maybe.

Okay, and this is just snark: you know how sometimes you see slut-wear for kids and you wonder what on earth people are thinking when they make this stuff? They’re selling it to my EBF, who’s 4’11" and was always buying these absurd clubwear in children’s sizes. She actually got a talking to about “professional attire” from her boss.