Tonight I was checking my email and I notice I have got alot of replies from an internet dating service I signed up for a long time ago. I thought it was odd because I had not logged in for a long time, and it wasn’t particularly successful before.
To make a really long story short, someone logged into my name and changed my profile. My profile talked about how I had sex with my cats and about how my being raised as a Jahovahs Witness gave me the ability to turn men into stone. Changed my height, didn’t have to change the weight as I am allready overweight. Said I was a recovering alcoholic. I…AM…REALLY…FUCKING…PISSSED. Also my phone number was given to a couple people. Alot of other stuff, but if I keep typing I will eventually punch the monitor.
I am even more pissed because I know who did this. My Ex Best friend. She was my ex best friend before this happened because we used to be room mates, until it came time to move out- she took most of her stuff and left me with everything else including her fucking mess. She lived with me rent free and bill free because she didn’t have a job and I felt sorry for her.(foralmost a year)
This would not be the first time she has done something like this. There have been many other things that she has done. I always forgave her because she was my best friend. She has had such a hard time lately. She was like a sister.
I know it was her because of the details of things she put in the profile and that she was the only one who knew the password. I have since changed everypassword I have.
I will not forgive her this time. Not now, Not ever. I forgave her when she told everyone that my ex husband beat me( a lie) I forgave her when she had sex with my ex husband. I forgave her when she told everyone I had AIDS. She always says she does this stuff because she is mad, and then she cries and tell me about how she wants to commit suicide. She knows how to work me. But its not working any more. I enabled her to be able to do this to me, and I will not do it again. I will not talk to her, take an email from her, or even mention her again. She has proved time and time again she is not my friend no matter how much she says the opposite.
Bitch your crying will not get to me, You lying will not hurt me anymore. You can only hurt me if I let you and I am not letting you do this anymore. You are a bottomfeeder. You live off of everyone. You suck the money and life out of everyone until there is nothing left. Color me Sucker no more.
She has been like this our whole lives. She lies so much I would almost use the word pathological.
Lies my ex best friend has told
Thats I was a lesbian (jr high)
That Because I was a JW, I hated people that weren’t(HS)
That I tried to have sex with her (hs)
That I didn’t bathe (hs)
That my ex beat me(grown up)
that when she lived with me in maine, i made her stay home, and never let her out(gu)
The whole AIDS thing(gu)
She ran up my phone bill twice, and each time she claimed she knew nothing about it, Like I was calling her mom and her cousins in wisconsin. The second time instead of kicking her out i just got a long distance block. I should have kicked her out.
Everyone knows she lies alot, but she can be so convincing. She always cried when she got caught and talked about how her life was spinning out of control. I offered to help her get counseling once. I have paid for her classes at college when she was behind on payment. She in return has been the worst friend I ever had. Damn wish I would have smacked myself around sooner.
Ok, you have kicked yourself in the pooper enough. I am very proud of you. Why? Because you are learning about recognising the “emotional leeches” in your life, and refusing to let them suck anymore out of you!!! It is sooooo draining…you try to help people, you try to believe in the good…you get hurt over and over. Please dont beat yourself up over her OR your ex-husband. You are a great person, and you are a better person for at least trying with them. You can now move on, and are finally free to explore the world and find the good people.
I had a “friend” that was something like this once. We were only friends for about 6 months, but in that time she:
Stole a bunch of money from my ex-husband (who was a friend at the time) that he was leaving in his room to help me pay for college books.
Had me buying her dinner every night because she was starving and claimed another friend had forbid her to eat anything from their house. (Partially true, she was binging and purging, and the other friend was sick of wasting all that money at the grocery store and had a kid to feed)
And to take the cake:
Once woke up said ex husband by trying to get his pants off.
After a few tries at an intervention (drugs, alcohol, suicide and her weight problems) I had to say good riddance. Her biggest problem was that she was an attention whore, and I just couldn’t handle that much drama in my life.
Deadly, it sounds like you are dealing with someone similar. She needs help, but not from you. You’ve tried to help her, and what she needs is professional, “tough love” help.
~J
Good luck, I hope you don’t have to deal with her anymore.
Whenever you start to feel like you’re going to cave in to her (I can’t see why, doesn’t look like she’s been a friend at all to you) pull up this thread. You’d have to be out of your mind to take her back after reading it.
I don’t mean this to be offensive at all, please do not take it that way, but do you have any other friends? I only ask this because a lot of people that don’t have a whole lot of friends (myself included a little while back) tend to let the friends they do have get away with a hell of a lot more than they would otherwise.
Go out and try your damndest to make as many friends as you can and forget about this wack job. She needs some serious help and you’re not the one to give it to her. You can’t be.
I have one friend left and she’s more than a friend, she my cousin.
I had a circle of friends once.
all my girlfriends slept with my ex at some point, so I have got rid of all of them.
One of them got into drugs, which is something I just can’t hang with.
One of them just got strange.
My one and only guy friend is a high matenience friendship, the only time we are friends is when he needs something. He never appreciated anything I did so i tapered our friendship out- he doesn’t seem to notice or care, so niether do I.
That leaves the one in the Op.
I am noticing a trend with all my friends here. They are all alot like the girl in the Op except not as extreme. I am always so nice, lend people money. come get them when they are too drunk to drive, rescue them from bars and fights. I guess I just have sucker written across my forehead.
I’m sorry about the emotional turmoil you are going through, but I have to say that the “ability to turn men into stone” bit is kinda funny.
A while back I made a personal ad on Yahoo saying stuff like that; “I like to go to the zoo and scare pregnant animals” and such. I got some funny emails from that one, from people who did and did not understand it was a joke.
Were any of the emails you got from the altered ad at least worth some amusement, in retrospect?
Again, sorry for the crap you going through, I sincerely hope things work out.
After hearing about all of your previous friends, I’d like to bring up the idea of getting some counseling for yourself. It looks as if you’re choosing a specific type of person to be friends with, and there’s got to be a reason for that. You’ve developed a pattern that it sounds like you desperately need to break.
Looks like you’re cleaning house quite well there, Deadly.
I think you need to sit down and figure out why you’re picking out such losers to be in your life. You mentioned you were in counseling…keep it up! Remember we’re here too
No, because they had personal information, like my phone number. I was not amused. I also do not find the crack about witnesses funny. But thats just me. I am sure someone was amused.
These are all the same friends I have had since child hood. But not anymore, Every single one of them has hit the bricks now. I am done being a sucker.
I agree with everyone who sympathizes with you and supports your decision to cut off all ties with this person, but I gotta tell you I admire her creativity–sociopathic as it is. Changing your profile to say you have sex with your cats has a kind of evil brilliance to it. Good thing she dosn’t have superpowers; no doubt she’d be an arch villain.
This happened to me once too, with a roommate. I can’t even really talk about it without shaking, twenty years later, but among other things she destroyed a wall in her bedroom and then got me evicted by telling the landlady that I had done it. After a whole bunch of this kind of thing, stuff that really scared me because she was so vicious and truly psychotic, I had her on the phone, and I said, “Look, it’s just you and me, no one else is listening. Tell me why you do this stuff.” The only honest thing she ever said in her life is when she paused and, instead of denying everything like she always had, she said, “I don’t know. I’ve always been like this.”
Shudder. I feel for you. But write it up as a Straight White Female-type screenplay, and profit off her insanity.
These 2 monks are kneeling by a stream, washing thier hands. A scorpion walks next to them and falls in the stream and starts to drown. The one monk rescues the scorpion the but it stings him as he puts it back on dry land.
So they continue to wash thier hands and the scorpion again falls into the stream. And again the monk reaches down and rescues the scorpion and puts it on dry land where it stings him again.
The other monk looks over and say, "why do you keep saving it when you know it is in it’s nature to sting you?
“because…” replys the monk, “It is in MY nature to save it.”
I understand what it’s like to be a rescuer. I have been there and been hurt the same way. I have given myself 100% in relationships where all I asked was to be appreciated and the person couldn’t even give me that. What I’ve learned is that when you jump into relationships and give yourself 120% from the moment you meet, lots of people will take advantage of that. Not everybody, but a lot of people. You need a sort of grace period when you first make friends. Let them earn your trust, don’t give it out for free. Loyalty is very important, but you should only give out as much loyalty as you recieve.
I have been in your exact shoes, all my friends got wierd/into drugs. I went a few months without any friends. It got lonely but I got a job and made lots of friends here, and started meeting people around my area and they are all good friendships.
Don’t keep a bad friend just to HAVE a friend. I think it’s better to have no friends then bad friends.
Maybe I’m babbling on here, hope you get a drift of what i’m tryin to say!
[quote]
My one and only guy friend is a high matenience friendship, the only time we are friends is when he needs something. He never appreciated anything I did so i tapered our friendship out- he doesn’t seem to notice or care, so niether do I.
[quote]
Good, fuck him.
You might attract needy friends with your personality, but don’t change because of assholes. You will find someone who appreciates you for you.
Like my fortune stapled to my wall says: “If you continually give, you will continually have.”
Sex with cats? Pretty sophomoric, but it made me grin. Not to make light of your anger – it’s well justified.
You have to tell us, after all the changes to your profile, where those letters in your in-box potential suitors? I’m dying to know what these guys might be like.
