Thanks to the rejection thread in MPSIMS, I am now very much in the mood to bitch and moan about the assholes that I have had to put up with. I swear, this one guy would only talk to me if he was going to get play. He would ignore me all week at school and then take me out on Saturday night and expect to get in my pants, and I’m a big fucking moron and I let him. And anyway, he acts smart but half the time I don’t think even he knows what he’s talking about. He thinks just cuz he has money and a nice car that everyone has to love him. He relies on his charm to get him by all the time. And he is the biggest goddamn suck up I have met in my life. He screwed over a good friend of mine, he screwed me over, and he is just in general an asshole. But now I am free from his tyranical reign. I AM OVER IT!!! Wow, I feel so much better now. Anyone else have stories to share? I swear that was like a religious experience (if I believed in that sort of thing)
Eh, not an ex-boyfriend, but just some asshole I don’t know whom I’d castrate if I ever saw him again. Jess knows the story, I’m not sure I should share it b/c I could barely get it out when talking to her, and I still have strong feelings of anger and upsetness. I let him do things I wouldn’t allow a close bf do to me in public, and I don’t know why. [The strange part is I don’t remember the last time before then that I was passive and just let it happen, if there was one.] GRRRRRRRR.
PS: the guy that hypergirl’s talking about is one of the biggest assholes I’ve ever met, plus while he was dogging her, he hit on me and some of my friends, and would not respect their personal space. Thank god he was never left alone with her.
As I have never had a boyfriend or girlfriend, I don’t have horror stories about them.
I just wanted to chime in for those of us at the other end of things. Those of us who, if a woman walked in front of us nude, would offer her clothes instead of trying to get inside her. We do exist, we’re just very shy and hard to get used to.
Plus we don’t carry signs. Or cards, or cool tattoos.
Oohhh, the torment some women have put me through. I have been royally played by some heinous wenches.
And if one of them called today, I would be waiting at the curb for them. Sometimes, I am such a doofus.
Iteresting parallel to this thread: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=37123
So, hypergirl, why did you go out with him and/or sleep with him? Because he has money and a nice car? Because he can be charming? ssskuggiii says he’s an asshole. Why’d you get involved in the first place? I find the motivations for these actions fascinating and mysterious. But from here, it looks like you basically got what you asked for. I could be wrong, though…
Good question Necros. And the explanation can be summed up in 4 words. He is an actor. When I met him we became friends and I never saw that side of him. But then I started to fall for his charm and that’s when I started screwing things up. He only showed the asshole side after I had already “fallen in love with him” and then I made up excuses for him because I was “so in love”. I use quotes because I realise now that it wasn’t love. It was infatuation bordering on obsession. But I am glad that’s over with.
Earlier this summer when I was visiting the parental units, my mother pulled out some old photos she’d found - I’d taken them while I was away at college. One of them featured The Ex-Boyfriend From Hell. She recognized him but couldn’t put a name to the face.
“What was his name?” she asked.
“Twerp.”
“No, I mean his real name.”
“That was his real name. His mommy just gave him another name so the other kids would play with him.”
I never slept with him (thank any deities that might be listening in). But I did actually voluntarily spend time with him. WHY?
man iampunha, you sure are trying hard…a little too hard.
hypergirl, I’m not in favor of peer pressure, or letting others tell you what to do. But this is the one situation where people should do what their friends tell them to. If their friends say the guys and asshole, stay away. They have so much more perspective.
I’ve been in the same hole. Some girl acts in a certain way towards me, and I fall for it. All the people around me tell me that she’s evil. Do I listen? No. “You just don’t understand. You’re not seeing the real her.” Uh huh.
The worst part is…he was probably being sincere. Cut the guy some slack.
<asshole voice> Besides, if he didn’t get any because of it, he’s not trying hard enough. </asshole voice> 
HUH? Whadya mean by that?
I am SO not trying to become anything more than friends with anyone here (the only person with whom I can POSSIBLY foresee EVER seeing outside of a dopefest is N4S, and she didn’t return my email).
It’s just that for all of you who have horror stories about exes, there are some of us who have never had the ex to horrorize about.
And now I must off to class. Carry on.
just responding to:
they’re called, not rapists, we’re everywhere, we just don’t advertise.
When I saw that I assumed one of the two:
- too nice of a guy, but no need to advertise it, it comes out in your personality.
- trying to get laid.
I’m a little fired up today, so I assumed the latter.
be wary: Being so in your face overly sweet will land you a life of “I wish I could date a guy like you, not you, but just like you”
That’s the thing. At the time that I met him he was the new kid in school so no one knew he was an asshole. In fact he wasn’t. As far as surface friendships go he could and still can be a somewhat nice person. It’s only when you get close to him that his true asshole nature rears it’s ugly head, and by then it’s too late. People only wanred me away from him after I was already in too deep. Eventually close friends convinced me to break up with him, but I carried the infatuation for much longer. And now that it’s finally gone I just feel so happy.
1 is debatable, 2 . . . no. Ask anyone who knows me on here. 2 is not a possibility.
Score another one for Captain Obvious on the third one. I’ve fallen into the friend zone with so many now. It gets a bit tiring. It’s lovely to have friends, I just wish one of 'em were interested in me.
Since you asked for stories, hypergirl, here’s my best one. I hope I never go through this again:
I once had a very fiery relationship with a woman (Irish redhead, of course) when I was quite a bit younger and dumber. Well, During the three years we dated each other, we broke up innumerable times, for every ridiculous reason under the sun, but we were addicted to each other. We would tell each other to “fuck off and die” with one breath, then end up in a passionate embrace with the next. It was quite exciting at the time.
So, during one of our many (oh, so many) breakups, we both began dating a different person, but as had happened before, we began gravitating toward each other again. First we called each other names, then we began seeing each other again. She was such a pain in the ass, but I loved her to distraction. I haven’t seen her in 4 years, and to this day I wonder what would happen if I ever ran into her again. I digress.
We got all romantic again, and she invited me up to her house for an intimate evening. I offered to cook dinner for us, romance her with candlelight, and serenade her with my 12-string guitar…hopefully (in my mind) to be followed by other less mentionable, but wonderful things.
Imagine, if you will, the setting. We both lived in central Alabama. I was in Montgomery, and she owned a house just north of there, outside a tiny town called Wetumpka. The point is, she lived in the sticks. The woods. It was a beautiful little place, but God, was it ever remote. It was down not one, but two dirt roads, about 8 miles from the nearest paved road.
On the evening in question, it was raining like a bastard. I called her to tell her I was on my way, and she responded that I should meet her in the parking lot of the church on the main highway, and from there ride with her to her house, so that my poor, woefully inadequate Nissan Sentra wouldn’t get stuck in the mud on one of the dirt roads. Well, I met her there, and we proceeded to her house.
It was a great evening. I made (IIRC) eggplant parmesan and lamb, and we shared a bottle of cabernet. Everything was proceeding splendidly. Our fatal flaw was that we didn’t stop with the wine. We then started in on the gin and tonic. I should have known better. Anyway, I played a few “wooing” songs for her, and before you know it, we were on her bed, breathing heavily. So far, so good, right? So thought I, but I couldn’t be further from the truth.
I swear to God I heard the death knell for the evening when she uttered the words, “you didn’t really love that girl (name omitted) you were seeing, did you?” Now, you know and I know what I should have said. For chrissakes, her cat was sitting on the end of the bed saying, “Hesitation is not acceptable! Say ‘hell no’ and get laid, fool!” I hesitated. For quite a while, as I recall. This was a mistake.
She reacted in the manner I was so used to, except for the fact that the gin distilled her anger into something very like nitroglycerine. Very touchy. Well, not to put too fine apoint on it, I responded with exactly the wrong statement: “Well, there were times…” If I had been remotely sober, I never would have said this in a million years. Unfortunately, I said it, all hell broke loose, the nitro hit the floor, and that sentence fragment was all I managed to utter before the apocalypse.
She pitched a fit like I’ve never seen before. She cried. She threw things (including a half-empty bottle of Tanqueray THROUGH her kitchen window.) She finally demanded that I get out.
ME: It’s pissing down rain, and my car’s in the church parking lot!
HER: I don’t care! Get out!
ME: Hell no. You’re stuck with me until you decide to give me a ride back to my car.
HER (you should imagine icicles dripping from her voice): Fine! Then I’m leaving.
She goes out, gets in her car, and drives off. I was (of course) drunkenly pissed at her by this time, so I got all Clint Eastwood. “If she doesn’t want me around, fine, I’m leaving, and to hell with her. I don’t need her, and I didn’t like her ANY-DAMN-WAY.” So, I pack up my guitar, sling it across my back, and I wander out into the dark, dark night, on a quest for my car.
There I am, looking like Woody-Fucking-Guthrie, walking down a rainy, muddy road with a guitar on my back, half-drunk, stewing in my own anger, when I hear a low growl. I look around, and there is a big fucking dog baring his teeth at me. I’m startled, I jump backwards, and I slip. I fall flat on my back in the mud right on top of my guitar. I hear things snap. This dog jumps at me, and bites the bottom of my boot. I kick him away, and he comes back again. I reach out, grab a stick (it was just like an adventure movie, I swear,) and with one swing, whack the dog right in the kisser. The dog runs off.
Imagine me lying on the side of some rural dirt road at 3 AM, in a mud puddle, lying on the sodden, muddy ruins of my guitar, with one chewed-up boot. I was not a happy camper.
I made it back to my car without further incident (mostly.) I drove back into Montgomery, gibbering like a maniac, I’m sure…I don’t really remember the drive. I got there just as dawn was breaking. My roommate, already up and about, nearly fainted when I walked in like a wounded infantryman. I wearily made my way back to the bathroom, where I ran a very hot bath. As soon as I immersed myself, the phone rang. Who was it? My girlfriend, of course, crying and worried.
I still miss her, sometimes.
Sorry for the looooong post. I didn’t mean to hijack, I just thought some of you might find this amusing.
I am currently involved with a sweet 16 year old girl that I care about a lot.
When she was a year or two younger, before I met her, when she was going through a self-destructive phase, she hooked up with a guy who I generally refer to as ‘That Fucking Asshole’.
This waste of flesh was and is in his 20’s. He has a kid. He handcuffed her. He put her on a leash. He used nipple clamps. He convinced her to have sex with him when she wasn’t ready. And she let him because she hated herself and thought she deserved it.
They broke up long ago, but he won’t give up. He lives in another state, but if he didn’t, I’m sure he’d be stalking her. He still emails her and makes her cry every month or so. He got my AOL screenname through profile search and started messaging me through his multiple screennames.
He claimed that she was a liar. That she ripped him off for a ring and a gift certificate. Threatened to send me pictures of the two of them having sex. (Well, more vulgar than that, really) I’ve blocked 5 screennames so far.
I’m insulted that he thinks I’d believe him, and pissed off that I have to share the oxygen with him.
I have four good friends. The 5 of us are probably the biggest guys at our school. My roommate has 4 baseball bats under his bed. My friend Chris has a large shovel in his room.
I swear to Christ if that bastard ever shows up here…
–John
well someone has to receive this treatment in a relationship and he doesn’t want it to be him - smart guy.
sounds like the guy’s ready for a big bucks career in management - no joke.
guy’s got to be doing something right.
as do most successful people.
won’t be getting fired.
not to defend his treatment of you, hypergirl, but it sounds like the guy has all the ingredients to get along pretty well in real life. what age are we talking about here? it takes some people decades of adulthood to learn this stuff.
So, Yue han, you’ve got your bats ready. Isn’t that cute. And shovels too. I was once on the end of one of your threats. Do you notice that you are always bringing in your friends when you threaten people. Why don’t you stand up alone when you make your sophmoric (or are you a junior now?) threats? For your unfortunate acquaintance, it might be a turn in her luck that she is now associated with a geek who does not have any testosterone.
Jesus, mips, what crawled up your ass and died? Your brain?
The only really “horrible” girlfriend I had was Danielle. I was a senior in HS, she was a sophmore. She was also sophmoric. I was attracted to her at first for what I thought was her caring nature, her need to be involved in people’s lives in order to help them. About a month in, I realized that she wasn’t involving herself in people’s lives in order to help them- she was doing it to control them. Everyone had to do what she wanted them to do or else she’d throw a tantrum.
We dated for about two months; for the last month of it, I wasn’t even listening to her, I was just getting together with her for the sex. Which probably makes me the biggest asshole boyfriend she ever had, so I guess we’re even.
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I don’t recall threatening mipsman.
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mipsman seems to believe that pedophiles deserve fair and honorable treatment at my hands. I disagree.
–John