I’m just interested. Without relegating this to the pit for obscenities, can you describe to me your worst-ever ex-mate? What made him/her so terrible? What’s s/he doing now?
As for me, I gotta think about it. I am pretty sure Erik is my #1 candidate (that rat bastard) but I’m not sure I can reveal why without making myself look really bad. So go ahead, I’ll contribute later.
Shoot…two out of my three ex-es were nuts, so it’s a tie between them. I could go into a pit rant on both.
Sandi was my first girlfriend, who I met through a mutual friend my junior year of college. We hit it off on a Halloween hayride and decided to start going at it. The first time she kissed me, I fell head over heels (mostly, I realize now, because she was my first). Sadly, we didn’t get to see each other often due to our work schedules, and I think she wanted someone a little more “available,” which is why she dumped me in an e-mail about two months into the relationship. Which sent me into a deep-ass depression for most of the following semester.
No, it gets better…the following summer, she found me over e-mail and we started hanging out again…and making out again. There I thought my happy relationship would be a go again…it took me a few weeks to realize we were in the same pattern where I’d stop over, we’d make out, go rent a movie, and then I’d go home. In other words, I had become a booty call, and that’s all the value she ever saw in me. Oh, sure, the immature teenager in me was enjoying all the action, but the young adult I was becoming wanted something more.
Then there was Beth, who I met at the end of the same summer on a trip to Rome. Beth, who was attractive, a nice Catholic girl, and the head of a youth group: she appeared to be your quintessential Christian-girl-next-door. Again, we hit it off really well, and pretty much spent the whole week together. (I still have a photograph of her on the roof of Vatican at sunrise…Lord, she looked gorgeous.) We stayed in touch following the trip and maintained a long-distance phone relationship. We had our first official date when I came home for Thanksgiving, declared our love, and promised we’d spend all of Christmas together.
Christmas never happened. I called her when I got home, only to have no answer at her place. Nada. I was worried sick: did she die? Did she dump me and didn’t want to say so? I spent most of Christmas break somewhere between pissed off and worried. When break ended, and I went back to school, I finally found her. Turned out she’d gotten pneumonia and spent Christmas in bed. Which relieved me…until she told me that she was upset that I’d gotten so worried, so it was better if she’d break up with me.
“But…if you break up with me, I’ll feel worse”, I said.
No dice. Later turned out that she’d gone nuts: she’d been overworking herself with school, work, youth group, and many other things. She also had a past, so I suspect a lot of it was catching up with her. Still, she wouldn’t listen to my desperate pleas that I’d be willing to work through anything with her.
Oh, and the best part: Beth broke up with me two years to the day that Sandi had broken up with me. Now I live in perpetual fear of January 11.
…oddly, I feel better now. 
Yeah, I don’t think I could describe my ex without making myself look bad. And without using obscenities. Lots of 'em.
Hmm, let’s see. I let myself naively be suckered into believing a load of bullshit.
He was:
He told me he went to the Top Gun training school, like in the Tom Cruise movie, when in reality he was kicked out of the Army in basic training for hitting an officer.
When I left him, I threw a few things (clothes, a few personal items) in my car and left. He took all my stuff I left behind (clothes, books, personal things) and threw it in the dumpster at our apartment complex and set fire to it.
He cheated on me constantly throughout our marriage. He told me he was working a second job and that’s why he was gone. He gave out our home number, but told girls he lived with his sister (meaning me!), and that she was a bitch who never gave him messages, so not to leave any messages.
He refused to pay child support on the grounds that I had a job, too.
When my (current) husband wanted to legally adopt my daughter, we had to hire a private detective to find him to get him to sign the paperwork. He still owes me about $2,000 in back child support.
Your turn, Cranky.
Well, I could say it was Chuck, with whom I had a very tumultuous relationship, lots of fights, mostly verbal, a few physical, and who broke up with me by telling me he was going to come visit me at home over Christmas, then letting me find out from his parents he had no plans to travel.
But more recently, it was Rick, who I met at work and moved in with shortly thereafter. I realize in retrospect that moving in with someone just because he has furniture really isn’t a very wise decision. Anyway, I think the low point of the relationship was when he didn’t come home after his National Guard weekend. I got to work Monday morning, no sign of him, supervisor said he hadn’t called. I’m worried sick, he finally shows up around 10 or so. When I talk to him to find out what happened, he said he’d decided to stay another night at the base because it was too late to drive back, and got pissed off at me when I asked him in the future to please call me to let me know if he wasn’t going to come home.
I’m working on a short-short story about the “Girlfriend From Hell”[sup]TM[/sup] that I had all them years ago, back when I was age 15 and she 14. It’s not ready yet, but if this thread’s still floating around when it’s done, maybe I’ll post it here. 
It was a short-lived relationship. He was harmless enough but so weird!
He was a physical therapist really into all this enegy- field crap.
Started out benign enough. But I got really weirded- out when he started holding his hands up to a tree and talking to it.
Ah–Buh-BYE!!
It was a short-lived relationship. He was harmless enough but so weird!
He was a physical therapist really into all this enegy- field crap.
Started out benign enough. But I got really weirded- out when he started holding his hands up to a tree and talking to it.
Ah–Buh-BYE!!
I can’t go into the whole Erik thing. I just hope he gets what is coming to him someday. Alas, he is right now some overpaid communications consultant, having gotten his PhD (before me, that ass) in English.
Anyway, let’s discuss Jon. Jon was a former bodybuilder and steroid abuser. We met at a party when he’d just moved to town, he asked me out, and we proceeded from there. His coworker and my best friend met at the same party and started going out, so we just followed the same trajectory for a 9 months or so. They are now married with two kids, so they were getting seriouser and seriouser. We should have broken up months earlier.
It turns out he was cheating on me, or trying to cheat on me, for god knows how long. I found a lot of evidence after we broke up and he got sloppy about his evidence. Notably, he didn’t break up with me until he’d already met someone new (whom he met by lying to me about a business trip–he said he was going to Houston, but he went to Mardi Gras to meet some buddies who wanted to set him up with this girl.)
They hit it off. But it took him WEEKS to break up with me and even then he didn’t admit he’d met someone. He pretended to be sad, depressed even, about our breakup. He even let me find a gun under his pillow, and let me freak out and believe that he was distraught over the fact that our relationship had gone bad. Except it was all a HUGE ACT. And his coworkers, my best friend, and nearly every other acquaintance we had in common learned this before I did. I could not have looked or felt stupider.
Really, though it’s no great loss (other than the waste of my life). He had the worst temper. He punched holes in his walls, broke hockey sticks in his rec league, even broke the glass door of the hockey rink when he got mad.
Anyway, I wasted MONTHS of my life catering to his awful moods, his low self-esteem, his misanthropism. He was also boring in bed. I had no idea he was interested in anything else until I found some really raunchy porn in his videos (and no, I wasn’t a snoop. He gave me keys and let me stay in his place whenever he was gone).
The kicker is, he ended up marrying the Mardi Gras girl, and they live here, and I really kind of like her. We’re in Junior League together and were in a book club for awhile and she’s nice. I just think her husband is a TOTAL jackass. I hope he’s happier with her than he was with me. The sad thing, they are having fertility problems now. Are just starting the adoption process. I wouldn’t wish those stresses on anyone, even if I do think he’s a big jerk.
I think it’s a tie…well, they WERE brothers, so I guess they could legitimately be considered one.
First was John. He was the love of my life. I worshipped him, God only knows why. Most notably, he was a self-proclaimed warlock. He thought he could cast spells and everything. He was also suicidal. He used to liven up our phone conversations by telling me about the train tracks running behind his house, and how easy it would be to lay on them. The only thing keeping him alive was his love for me. As a 15 year old, I was a nutcase.
After realizing he wasn’t gonna kill himself over me, I moved on to his brother, Drew. He was the complete oppisate. Life of the party, a wicked bad drunk, and the school pervert. He was thetype to grab your ass as you walked down the hallway. He was my booty call for almost 2 years. Almost half of that time, I was alsowith John. I went back and forth between the two…they both knew about the other. Right before I moved away, they invited me to have a threesome with the two of them. That’s when it got too too weird for me. I havent talked to either in over four years.
Dominic. He borrowed money from me and never paid it back. Then he borrowed money from my parents and never paid it back. He also borrowed money from most of his friends and never paid it back. Otherwise, I have been incredibly lucky - I don’t regret any of my past relationships.
12 years ago I was dating a girl who at first seemed interested in me, but over time the relationship was based less on feelings and more on the fact that I was working and had money. She was too lazy to get a job and instead mooched off of me. I wasn’t making much money myself at the time, but she wanted me to help her get a car (so she could get a job, yeah, right) and lots of other stupid, frivolous purchases, too many for me to list. She was very whiny and insistent, and she would pout and bicker and not give it a rest until she got her way; she was very determined to get what she wanted out of me. She learned early on that I tended to be generous and would do so in order to please people and earn their approval of me. After she (that is, after I) could no longer keep up on her car payments and it had to be sold, she relied on me to take her to see her friends and other people, none of whom I really knew that well or cared about. My whole family hated her and she was never welcome at any of our family functions. I spent so much time with her that I felt like I was alienating my own family and my friends. She demanded so much of my time that I nearly flunked out of college and ended up changing majors. I don’t know what possessed me to stick it out with this bitch. She depleted my finances dry and I went flat broke because of her, and then she got pissed at me for not being able to manage my money . She continued to take and take and take without ever giving anything back. I know I was stupid to allow her to take advantage of me, but at the time I was desperate for a girlfriend and was willing to do anything for her in hopes that she would reciprocate. She never did. One time I thought I could win her approval by letting her know that I was being honest. I told her about a store that had over-refunded me on a return and I let them know about it. She got mad at me for not “letting them learn from their mistake” as she put it. As the months went on she became more and more impossible to satisfy and completely intolerable. I was driven to suicidal thoughts because of her and I had to get counseling. One night I was helping her move into another apartment, never mind the fact that it was 11:30 at night when she wanted to do this. As expected, the other tenants complained about the noise we were making. She got into an argument with me over the fact that supposedly I was the only one making the noise. This was when I decided I had enough of her shit. I told her off and went home that night, never to speak to her sorry face again.
I know this has become a rambling account of my experience with this horrible bitch, and I have left out a lot of details. I haven’t had a girlfriend since then, and while I used to wish I were dating I have since sworn off relationships. I have enjoyed the last 11 years of my life, being free and being single.
Umm… let’s just say…
Never, ever fall in love with a junkie.
Trevor. My first college boyfriend. I thought he was sweet.
He turned out to be a computer hacker and a liar who brought girls where he KNEW I was going to be just to see me cry. He stood me up numerous times. He sent his friends to harass me. I ended up having to call the police because of things he did/was doing.
Thank God he finally gave up. I feel sorry for his current girlfriend; I’ve known her awhile. She’s a nice girl. She doesn’t deserve his BS.
I’ll be brief. My ex-husband admitted about a year after we were married that he had molested his neices and nephews, but his family had decided to ‘keep it in the family’ and not press charges, which explained the attitude of his relatives towards him.
When I asked him if he would go to counselling and promise not to ever do that again, he said he couldn’t. That was the beginning of the end. FWIW, he was also just a general jackass and not very bright to begin with.
He remarried within 6 months of our divorce going final. Last I heard from him was about a year later, when he sent me an email detailing the death of his infant daughter.
To follow MrVisible’s example: Never, ever get involved with a bi-sexual, alcoholic, prostitute.
If that wasn’t enough - Brit Dopers, Do you watch Big Brother? You know how Jade is when she kicks off? That gives me flashbacks.
My first longtime boyfriend. He was a total ass. I lost my virginity to him. When it was over he said “You better not be pregnant”. He told me his friends told him he deserved better. He told me my friends were prettier than me. He constantly belittled me and would rarely show affection towards me in public. On his birthday, I told him to call me when he got off of work. He ended up having a party at his house and inviting me dead last when all the beer was gone and everyone was ready to leave. When I broke up with him he came back 4 times that night to yell at me and call me a stupid whore. I can’t believe I wasted almost 2 years of my life with him.
My ex-wife. Hands down. Pathological liar, financial black hole, running hot and cold sex issues, thief, etc…
I knew she had been married before, which I had no problem with. I knew she had been dating a married guy (Marine helo pilot, callsign “Young”), plus a few more guys at the same time, for three years, I had a little problem with that, but not a real big one, since we would be on the opposite coast. We ended up getting married. I was looking for the title to her car and found divorce papers from another guy, not from “Hubby #1”, who had apparently been demoted to “#2”. I kinda had a feeling there may have been another, so after I calmed down, I asked calmly and sincerely if there was another marriage, because I kinda had this gut feeling. She swore up and down that was it. I said there was no reason to hide this, it is our marriage we were talking about, yadda, yadda. About a year later she told me that I was Hubby #4, not #3, or #2 as I originally thought. Turns out her father was not dead, she was regularly getting and making phone calls to “Young”, and lying about it. I told her I would pay for the fucking plane ticket for her to see him, just stop lying to me. I’m 98% sure she was still banging him, but I did not take that one step to be 100% sure. She took money from me on frequent occasions when we did not have much. She rented a convertible Corvette on a trip back to the old neighborhood (to see “Young”), said there were no other cars available, then I found five phone calls to “Rent-a-Vette” from before the trip. She planned a trip to DC to visit a female friend who had called. There were no calls on our caller ID, turns out “Young” was in DC for the weekend. She was oh-so-sexual before we got married, and I swear, within three weeks of the ceremony, the spigot was turned off. It was hot and cold for three and a half years. She was a Finace major in college, I was Engineering, so she did the finances. Turns out she had declared bankruptcy either two or three times before we got together (I do lose count), and she brought us to the brink of major trouble. Turns out that title I had been looking for? She had defaulted on the loan. A trip to Vegas to speak at a UNLV conference, but the conference had been cancelled, and she did NOT fly back on Saturday, when flights were available. Again, one phone call would have confirmed if “Young” was there. I could go on for pages.
Where is she? Last I heard (three years ago) she was in Boston. I am very sorry for you Bostonians.
Let me regale you with the tale of an ex so psychotic that he makes Norman Bates look like a catch. In fact, Norman Bates would be the best character with which to compare him. I saw him only on weekends. Not due to distance, but because Mommie Dearest had things for him to do. She made all decisions for the family, including picking out his clothes for the week. He was under the impression that he was some sort of cowboy. Cowboys’ mommies don’t starch iron their jeans and sing them awake every morning. He told me that I wasn’t the kind of girl one married. She called me white trash to my face. We had this make up- break up kind of thing going on and once when she told him to break up with me he did. I spent 3-4 years trying to make Mommie happy by helping work on the farm (actually working as hard as any hand, but without pay), babysitting neices and nephew (aka, Rosemary’s babies), and forgoing intelligent conversation. He actually told me not to “act so smart” around his parents, because they didn’t like it when I “talked like a book”. He withheld sex for over four months without explanation. Of course, that didn’t mean that I couldn’t give him three blow-jobs in one day. I know, I should have left him earlier over any of these things, but I was young and had issues. He had the nerve that after I broke up with him and started dating Bing, he called (both of us having dated someone for over 2 months) and asked if I would like to get out and fool around. I told him that if I hadn’t cheated in our bad relationship, why would I cheat on this great one. He never called back, but later rumor floated back to me that he thought Bing and I started dating before I broke up with him. Whatever makes you feel blameless, baby.
There is so much more evil from that family I could let out, but this has been therapy enough for now.
Let me regale you with the tale of an ex so psychotic that he makes Norman Bates look like a catch. In fact, Norman Bates would be the best character with which to compare him. I saw him only on weekends. Not due to distance, but because Mommie Dearest had things for him to do. She made all decisions for the family, including picking out his clothes for the week. He was under the impression that he was some sort of cowboy. Cowboys’ mommies don’t starch iron their jeans and sing them awake every morning. He told me that I wasn’t the kind of girl one married. She called me white trash to my face. We had this make up- break up kind of thing going on and once when she told him to break up with me he did. I spent 3-4 years trying to make Mommie happy by helping work on the farm (actually working as hard as any hand, but without pay), babysitting neices and nephew (aka, Rosemary’s babies), and forgoing intelligent conversation. He actually told me not to “act so smart” around his parents, because they didn’t like it when I “talked like a book”. He withheld sex for over four months without explanation. Of course, that didn’t mean that I couldn’t give him three blow-jobs in one day. I know, I should have left him earlier over any of these things, but I was young and had issues. He had the nerve that after I broke up with him and started dating Bing, he called (both of us having dated someone for over 2 months) and asked if I would like to get out and fool around. I told him that if I hadn’t cheated in our bad relationship, why would I cheat on this great one. He never called back, but later rumor floated back to me that he thought Bing and I started dating before I broke up with him. Whatever makes you feel blameless, baby.
There is so much more evil from that family I could let out, but this has been therapy enough for now.
Hoo boy, what memories this all brings back!
My WEE (Worst Ex Ever) started out as merely conceited, self-centered, and arrogant. Then it went downhill. He spent several months telling me what HE wanted (a woman with long hair, a woman who was willing to stay home and have his babies, a women he could “boss around”). Then he got scary, one day when we driving around, and the talk turned to the subject of our divorces:
Him: I’ll never get divorced again.
Me: Well, you can’t really predict what will happen, right? I mean, you just hope for the best and work at it.
Him, more adamantly: No. I mean, I will NOT go through another divorce. WON’T.
Me, still clueless: <more blather about the risk of getting married, while I’m really thinking about the gardens we’re passing>
Him, stopping car in traffic and leaning over me, speaking very slowly: You’re. Not. Listening. I…will kill…the next woman who tries to leave me. I’d rather go to prison for murder.
The he pulls back into traffic and off we go.
I did the only thing I could, under the circumstances: Bugged the shit out of him until HE broke up with ME.
No idea where he is now, although I think he may still be around. The few times I’ve seen him in public, I hid until he left.
:eek: