I know, we did this thread a couple of years ago. But I found it fascinating reading then and I know we have many new members now, so I thought I’d start a redux.
Unfortunately I can’t lead with a contribution of my own, as I’ve been with the same mister for 20-plus years. However, I do remember my long-ago steady boyfriend being pretty much a youthful version of The Dude (Jeff Lebowski), and that I wised up and dumped him after awhile. I was only nineteen, what can I say.
Does this apply to any ex?
I have an ex, but he dumped me. He was a grad student; I was an undergrad. He took me out to dinner, after his frat brothers had told me he was going to propose to me (we had dated for almost a year) and proceeded to dump me over dinner. (guys, don’t do that). The unacceptable things about me were as follows: I smoked ( was quitting and guess what? he smoked when drunk); I wasn’t Catholic (no argument there); and I was “too American” (he was not).
He married a non-Catholic, blonde, blue eyed American girl about 4 years later. She never smoked, so there is that. I quit smoking soon after college. Go figure.
Is this what you’re looking for? If not, disregard…
Because he was a mouthy know-it-all that had no aversion to hitting on and propositioning my friends when I wasn’t around, and even sometimes when I was.
Years later, when we were both with different people, he propositioned me one night under the guise of ‘for old times sake…’
Ummm… yeah, not just no, Hell No!
We were married too young and only stayed together for as long as we did for our son. We were both completely different people at 25 than we were at 18 and grew too far apart. Plus she cheated on me a month before she left. But mainly it was the growing apart thing.
She dumped me for my best friend at the time and then dumped him shortly thereafter as well. She says she doesn’t know why she did it but it’s pretty obvious to me that she wanted to get married and knew I wasn’t at all interested whereas he’d just gotten out of a marriage and is definitely the type to remarry fast.
Unfortunately for everyone involved, she found out she was pregnant shortly before they split and it’s likely mine. It’s due in a few weeks.
I was twenty and he was twenty-eight.
We were together for eight years; in an odd coincidence, our first real date was on my 20th birthday, and eight years later I ended it two hours shy of my birthday.
Of the many things I could mention, the most obvious reason we broke up was that I was nowhere near the same person at 28 that I was at 20. He wanted me to grow up really quickly and have his same priorities, and I just didn’t, and I didn’t like the idea that I would always be “behind the curve” that way.
I loved him but I wasn’t in love with him anymore; I considered him one of my best friends but I didn’t want to spend my life with him.
It was time to go.
For my most recent (read 11 years ago) ex, it is because he was a raving lunatic. 3 days after we got married, while he was preparing to move to TN (he lived in IL at the time) he was arrested for check fraud/forgery – apparently, he’d been stealing from his employer for like 3 years – it was pretty much downhill from there, as he just couldn’t understand why I had a problem with that kind of thing.
For my most significant ex (my daughter’s father) it is because he beat me. I chose to bring up my daughter in a household in which there is never an acceptable reason to hit a woman, rather than one in which being thrown against the wall was justified response to dinner being late.
We were together five months when she went off to Sweden for a semester to study (something we both agreed upon and were okay with). Midway through her semester, I went to Sweden to visit her, expecting a joyful reunion and lots of loving, but all I got was her avoiding and acting very uncomfortable and stand-offish around me. On the last day there, we broke up, ostensibly because we both had changed so much in the few months she had been gone (and we had, in her defense).
And I would have taken her words at face value, too, if she hadn’t gotten together with a Swedish guy before I even got off the plane back home…! Ahh well, she was a self-centered and emotionally unstable brat anyways.
We met at a time when I was at the height of neediness, which he loved, and then when things got better for me and I came back to my senses, he dumped me. :dubious: I guess he was turned on by my dark angsty phase, which as it happened turned out to be quite brief.
She was evil! Evil.
Because, while Really Good Sex works great as a basis for a relationship for awhile, eventually those awkward pauses when you realize that you don’t actually like her all that much when she has her clothes on become more and more frequent.
He wanted to sleep with someone else. In our house, in our bed. :eek: :mad:
Because, as it turns out, we really didn’t like each other.
We had been dating for two years in college and were considered a strong couple by everyone around us. She went to a Spring Break retreat with a Christian campus group. If you spent spring break in Flordia and had people preaching to you–that’s probably the group. She came back boasting of all of the lives they had changed and how great these guys were that they had met (she went with a female friend and they both spent the week with this group of guys). She began criticizing me, in ways that implied I wasn’t “Christian enough.” On one of the weekends she was visiting her new friends, I had lunch and dinner with her best friend, who was breaking up with her boyfriend and needed a friend to talk to. That was all that happened, lunch, a walk, and dinner, while she and her friend were staying at another college and spending the night in men’s dorms. I was okay with it, I trusted her and them. She came back furious that I had “cheated” on her with her friend. When her friend officially broke up with her boyfriend, she saw that as making herself available to steal me away. Before long, I was outed from the group because of my “sinful lifestyle.” I lost all of my friends because of the rumors. She had gone through my computer, reading my email, and searched everything in my room to find any “evidence.” I broke it off with her and she started dating another guy a few weeks later and was engaged six months later. On the day I broke it off, I saw her waiting outside, crying to a friend, and she had a big rag in her hand. When I approached her, she tearfully told me about how my dumping her left her so distracted that she grabbed a hot iron (don’t even distracted people grab cold irons by the handle?). She peeled back the rag and showed me her wound, expecting sympathy. She didn’t get any. If anything, self mutilation was the guaranteed way to make me never come back for more.
Turns out he’s gay.
Will you find out? (appologies if that’s too personal.)
Most recent, because we are better together as friends than girlfriends. Next most recent, he died.
She has a full time job and a part time student going into a rather busy last year at school. She said she probably wouldn’t have much time for a relationship and I really didn’t put up a fight (I really wasn’t into the relationship anymore anyhow).
My previous girlfriend is an ex because she is evil incarnate. She sleeps with both her ex and her roommate (a guy) and screams at me for having a friend who is a girl (who I must confess I WAS trying to sleep with, but that didn’t happen until after we had broken up).
I’m fairly certain it’s mine but, yeah, I’m going to be requesting a paternity test no matter what.
He may not have an interest, but theres a decent chance that the Child Support Enforcement Agency might.