Describe your worst ex-significant other

In My Humble Opinion
21

I live in perpetual fear of December 17th for precisely the same reason. Next year I think I’m just gonna hide under the covers and not come out all day.

I don’t really feel like posting all the sordid details, but suffice to say that you should never date anybody who:

– Uses you for free therapy, and then blames you for not being good enough at it.

– Plays mind games of the “if you really cared for me you’d do this” kind, and when that doesn’t work, ups the ante to “You have to do this because everybody else in my life has let me down, and I can’t handle you letting me down.”

– Makes you feel guilty about any time not spent with him, tries to talk you out of applying to grad school, and bad-mouths everybody else you feel close to.

– Tells you flat out: “I’m glad you’re not very pretty, because it makes me feel more needed.”

– Proposes to you two weeks into the relationship, and then tries to pass it off as “I was just testing you.”

– Keeps a box of Nazi memorabilia in the closet and believes that Martin Luther King, Jr. “ruined the country.” (In my own defense, I didn’t learn this until after the relationship was over.)

– After the breakup, accuses you of breaking into his (unlocked) car and stalking him. (Said stalking consisted of a few e-mail messages, one handwritten note, and returning his things.)

Oh, OK, I guess that is a fair amount of sordid detail. Anyway, to the best of my knowledge this person is now married to one of my college classmates, who was if anything more naive and manipulable than I was. They became engaged roughly two months after he broke up with me; she was estranged from her family at the time, mostly as a result of her relationship with him. I worry about her a great deal; looking back on it, it’s clear that the guy was not only a nut case, but a potentially abusive one.

22

Bad Ex Boyfriend [sup]TM[/sup] basically ruined my entire highschool career. He was verbally and emotionally abusive, five years older than me…convinced me that I’d better stay with him because no one else would want me. Convinced me that if I ever left him he’d kill me, my family and himself…in addition…HIS MOTHER convinced me that he would kill himself without me.

He was a four pack a day smoker, hated my family, hated my friends, hated dancing, laughing, fun, movies…the ultimate surly bad boy…without the benefit of being smolderingly handsome or sexy in anyway.

He raped me on the fourth of July because he told me that he’d ‘waited long enough’, and then, when i broke up with him, he went to my parent’s house while I was away and told them I was a slut who slept around.

My parents, of course, believed him. Probably still to this day.

I know that he got married and had three kids. I feel real sorry for that woman. She must be miserable.

23

My first GF is my worst Ex-GF.

  • She had a boyfriend at the same time that we were together.
  • She let me pay for everything knowing full well that I did not have a lot of money (I ended up owing my bank several K)
  • She was way in the back of the closet and made me lie to everybody about the nature of our relationship
  • When I went into therapy her only concern was that I might talk about her (you bet I did, you twat, you caused my problems!)

When she dumped her BF I was happy, but then she got another one and I finally managed to let go of her. She is now married to him and has a son.

And yes, I was seriously p***y-whipped :smiley:

24

just for the record, I have since recovered my brain and it is currently properly installed…
My worst ex is the mother of my four-year-old daughter. Much like previous posters, she tried to bleed me financially at first. After that dried up, she came home from work every day with a story about how a co-worker’s significant other had gotten extra jobs to provide for what the co-worker- almost always female- wanted. When that failed to work, she purposely damaged our only working vehicle in an attempt to get a new one. Then she tried to buy a house. Then she got pregnant. It was all downhill from there.
She didn’t, and probably still doesn’t believe men are really worth anything. She let growing up with a deadbeat dad color the rest of her life. (I also had a deadbeat dad- it makes me a stronger father.) We argued constantly, and she physically attacked me on several occasions-including lobbing a full pop can at my skull because she didn’t like my answer to a question. She had issues with anything that competed with her for attention - videogames, the computer, my family, my friends, my flurking job that brought in the money that she EXPECTED. She hid my Psx/Dreamcast controllers, took random cords off of the PC, made noise when I was on the phone with anyone, or flat-out bitched when I worked overtime.
I left when the baby was six months old. I set up child support through the state and filed for custody. She filed a restraining order to keep me from seeing my daughter. Her case was heard within two weeks and the order stood, while my custody hearing took two months to get into court. In the meantime I was giving her mother checks to give to her for the baby, none of which she cashed. She held on to them(approx. $600) until the first court date, to show the judge that I wasn’t paying enough. What the holy hell??
On the advice of my lawyer, I cancelled the checks to wait for the state to take over supervising the payments. ‘My baby momma’ tries to cash them after the first court date. They bounce. She calls the police and tells them that I am outside her door, threatening to kill her. I was in the western suburbs, she was on the south side of Chicago at the time.
I find this out about a week later, when I show up for the first mediation(HAH!) appointment downtown and get handcuffed. I spend my first night in jail ever because she lied to the police and then lied to a judge to get a warrant saying I violated the restraining order.
During the course of the custody trial I learn that she has two other kids that her mother is raising because she just walked out one day.(What’s that? Those aren’t the children of a drug-addled aunt like you said? Oh, they’re YOURS? oh joy!) She has been institutionalized for mental health problems in her early teens. She previously attempted fake-suicide-as-a-cry-for-help on a regular basis, including the day I left her. Despite all this, because she wasn’t on drugs or harming my daughter RIGHT NOW, I only get joint custody. Our currect relationship is cool at best. I think she actually fears me, because I fought back and I’m not sure the other daddy(s?) did, thus proving her feelings about men.
Where is she now? Married to a weak-willed, unable to drive, perpetual student, combo gas-station/White Castle employee who has yet to come to his senses. Of all the dumb things I did, I never MARRIED her.
And she just had her fourth child, another girl. She has already told her mother she will keep going until she gets a boy.
My daughter is fine btw. As happy and well adjusting as possible considering her situation. When I don’t have her, she’s with her maternal grandmother along with her two sisters. She ‘visits’ mommy.
‘Mommy’ hasn’t given the latest baby up yet, but it’s still early in the first quarter.

25

You know you have a bad relationship when you’re SO calls you on the phone and asks you to provide bail money for her and her boyfriend.

It turned out they had tried to rob a small mom and pop store but because they weren’t familiar with how my pickup worked they killed the engine, it flooded and they were caught (I think she felt I should post bail because it was my truck’s fault they were caught).

They had met while attending a nearby community college. It turns out that she had not been back to the school after the first semester but did indeed leave for her “classes” about the same time I left for work each morning.

About a week before the phone call, I came home from a three-day conference and found the house cleaned out and my pick-up and her car gone. She did leave the cat and some patio furniture. Neighbors said that she had held a yard sale and then left with her “cousin” in the two vehicles. I managed to buy some of my possessions back. It turned out my neighbors knew that something was up when she was selling off stuff that they knew I valued so they bought that.

I didn’t pay her bail, but apparently somebody did. She and her buddy jumped bail and left the state. The sheriff was nice about the whole thing and let me have my truck back. He pointed out that after just meeting her briefly, he thought the truck was worth more than she was anyway. I told him I was inclined to agree.

An interesting offshoot of the whole thing was that when the word got out of my dumpedness (which wasn’t long with the yard sale and the police report in the paper about her and her boyfriend’s arrest) what seemed to be every available woman in town came by with food or something for the house to help me through my troubled time. Honestly, this probably sounds terrible, but it was kind of fun.

26

You make me feel so much better about my ex’s.

My ex-wife was simply a queen bitch who had t be the center of everything.

An ex-fiance cheated on me.

I’ve had one Ex-girlfriend that threatened to kill herself over me, “Well, first I’ll shoot her (my new GF) and then I’ll shoot myself and you’ll just have to live with it.”.

I feel boring all of a sudden…

27

You know, I opened this all ready to rant about my evil ex-husband but found that I didn’t want to waste the time even typing about it, much less rehashing it.

That’s a good feeling. :slight_smile:

28

My god. Some of these stories have my eyes bugging out. They make Jon look like a saint.

29

Ex-wife hands down.

(Just as a formality, I accept full responsibility for the fact that I married her, and I could have left at any time)

She had a coke problem, although she claimed to be clean when we married. Lie. I found coke in our apartment.

She had a tendency to leave for a weekend without any warning or explanation and on at least one occasion I called the police before she turned up again.

She was a compulsive liar, and not a very good one.

I caught her in bed with an ex-boyfriend, and then actually chose to believe her when she claimed they hadn’t done anything and even still had their clothes on (I didn’t stay in the room to see them get up, so I can’t state categorically that she was lying then but she was)

I broke my arm and she wouldn’t drive me to the doctor to have it set properly because she and her daughters (my stepdaughters) were going out of state and she didn’t want to waste any time, so I had to drive myself. With a clutch, and it was my right arm.

She finally left ME because she felt I was too clingy and putting too much pressure on her. My interpretation: I was trying to make the marriage work in spite of her actions and, admittedly thought it would be wrong to give up.

A couple of her friends that I got along with actually took my side and said she had screwed up. I felt justified by that.

That was over 10 years ago and the relationship I’m in now is so much better.

Oh, she was married again within a year of our separation, which means less than 6 months after the divorce was finalized.

30

My ex had 4 kids with 3 women (I have a son with him). He “doesn’t pay for kids who don’t live with him” is the child support I’ve received.

He beat me, ditched all the kids, didn’t work for 3 years, was a criminal and a cheat, slept around, and belittled my son because he dyed his hair weird colors. He died about 7 years ago and didn’t leave a dime to any of his kids.

31

Good lord. I thought mine was bad!

I was engaged to a controlling, pathological liar with anger issues. We started dating, we broke up, he moved away. I found his number one day, called him up, and we started dating again. Everything was so well that I should have been suspicious.

Two months after we started dating, he moved from Savannah back to Charleston to live with me. Things were fine, except for the fact that I was paying all the bills, cooking dinner every night after I got off work, doing the dishes, cleaning up after him and our 4 roommates, and playing psychiatrist when he was in a mood. He never had a job for the first 6 months. I was also ‘too lazy, fat, stupid, smartass’, whatever insult he could find.

We moved into a one bedroom apartment together. Peace at last, right? Nope. I wasn’t allowed to have friends other than the three guys he trusted. Luckily, those three guys were guys I was very close to. When I told them everything that had happened during the relationship, they blasted me for a while, and swore that they would pay him back for all he did to me. (Nice offer, but I would never take them up on it.)

The ex and I were a ‘fighting’ couple. We fought long and hard, every night. There was not a night in the 10 months that we were together that I didn’t end up crying. He hit me twice. The first time, he hit me in the face, so I laid him out. I told him if he ever hit me again, I would walk out the door with no regrets. The second time he did it, he didn’t just hit me. He picked me up (I am not a small girl) and threw me across the living room. I landed on the dining room set that I had just bought, crashing right through the table. I got up, took some ibuprofen, and started packing. He pleaded with me to stay, and I used some choice words to tell him where to go and what to do when he got there.

About a year and a half ago, one of his friends was sent into a bar downtown to tell me he was dead. I went home that night, and didn’t sleep for six months. There’s a long story that would explain why I didn’t sleep, but I don’t want to be pegged as a weirdo. (I’ve already proven my doormat status, thank you.) Well, after not sleeping at all for six months, I run into the same friend. He tells me, oh, by the way, X is not dead. He just wanted to get the people in Charleston off his back. I’ve never wanted to kill someone before, but the thought definitely crossed my mind that day. I haven’t spoken to him in 4 years now. And the next time I see him will probably be the day he is buried, because I will go dance on his grave.

32

Suddenly, I don’t feel so deprived about hardly dating thru my teens and 20s… I had a couple of short-term boyfriends, but no SO till I met and eloped with my husband 18+ years ago.

HIS ex left on their 7th anniversary with his “best friend” - I don’t know all the dirty details, nor do I care - it’s all ancient history.

33

It’s a toss up between the bad boy I was determined to save when I was 18 and the good boy that was determined to save me when I was 22.
The bad boy had been in a mental institution and had electric shock therapy when he was 16-the doctors were dubious as to his ability to function on a day to day basis especially if he continued to drink and drug. Which he did. I stuck around for 3 years because I knew that my love could save him. Yah, right. When he knocked me upside the head so hard my contacts flew out-I decided that it was time to bail out. He did pull a gun on me after I had left him-nothing like a Saturday night special to bring back that loving feeling .
The good boy liked me right up until the day he managed to persuade me to move in with him. His mission in life then became molding me into the woman his mother wanted. He isolated me from the few friends that I had at the time (I had just moved to Chicago) and lectured me constantly about my dress,conduct and general comportment . He also attempted to convince me that any man that spoke to me was just after one thing and that wasn’t my giant sized brain.
In an odd way, I’m grateful to them both as they taught me what I absolutely would not tolerate in my SO.

34

Wow…Dorkboy the Ex™ really doesn’t seem so bad now.

He was my college boyfriend, my first boyfriend, heck my first everything (including first kiss). We sort of fell together when his friend started dating my roommate. I was a student, he was a “townie”, so to speak. I was a sophomore when we met.

Well, by junior year he was just about living in my dorm room, same thing senior year. These were single rooms, barely enough room for one person. Dorms were co-ed, so him being there wasn’t a big deal (well, if the administration had found out he wasn’t a student it might have been).

I got a computer and hooked up to AOL junior year (no college network at that point). From where the college was located, it was a long distance call to the nearest hookup. Well, I let him have one of my additional screen names, with the stipulation that he had to limit his time online AND could only dial out after 5 PM. I get a phone bill a month later for $450 and get pissed off. Looking at the phone bill, calls were being made at 15 minutes before five, five minutes of, the middle of the day. I was more pissed at the ones at a quarter of five in the afternoon. Five before, I could understand maybe his watch being fast (although I was charged daytime rates for the entire 3 hour call he would make), but he couldn’t wait 15 minutes?!?!

I sucked it up and paid the bill, then got the AOL charges to my credit card and realized he went into all the most expensive areas of AOL - back when there were per-minute rates in any but the free areas. But me, I keep my temper pretty well, and I don’t know if he ever realized how mad I was. But I knew how inconsiderate he was. I stayed with him though, even let him put all his Christmas presents on my credit card that winter…after all, I was in “love”, and at that point I believed I could buy myself into staying in love.

He claimed to hate his job (cook) incredibly, but wouldn’t take the steps to change anything. He claimed he wanted to go to college, but wouldn’t take the time to finish applications. After all, a degree wasn’t going to do him any good where he wanted to end up. His life’s goal? He wanted to be a “freedom fighter” (mercenary) in Burma/Myanmar. He was a controlling personality, and I was easily controlled. If you didn’t think the same way he did, he believed you were an idiot, and would tell you that.

I broke up with him the summer after I graduated and moved home to my parent’s house. I won’t go into the specifics of that breakup, as I’ve gotten my ass chewed for it before.

I occasionally think about trying to look him up and contact him, but I am finally believing that it would be a bad idea. Still think about it at times though. Won’t ever happen.

35

Wow, I’m a catch!

36

Maybe we should fix up our ex’s, UncleBill. I think they deserve each other.
I thought I was my ex-husband’s second wife when we got married. While we were still married I found papers indicating I was his THIRD wife, and when we were divorcing, I found out I was actually his FOURTH wife. :smack:
To paraphrase Mr. Myth, I found my brain shortly after I left him and it is perfect working order now.

37

I’m always the worst ex or s/o.

I hat two stalkers, but it never botherd me I just found it flattering.

38

I’m always the worst ex or s/o.

I had two ex’s who became stalkers, but it never botherd me I just found it flattering.

39

Wow… some amazing (and horrible) stories.
It’s sad that many of you mentioned that the “worst ex” is now married/with someone else. I’m thankful that all of you escaped your bad relationships. Sad to say I know people who haven’t been that lucky. One the most difficult things to see is a good friend who is with someone who is an asshole (and you can’t do anything about it).

I wish I had some story to contribute. I’ve had my share of failed relationships, but (thankfully) have yet to go out with someone who I saw no redeeming qualities in later. Lucky so far, I guess…

40

Heh. I forgot my ex-husband.
Who really, truly, was a decent, kind, responsible, loving-if-rather-passive-aggressive sorta guy, until he ran away with my best friend. Well, technically, he didn’t run away with her. Technically, he gave me a check for $100, loaded the two babies (4 months, 4 years respectively) into the car, and told me he felt really bad. Really, really bad.
I sure felt for him, y’know? sigh
He’s married again, but I think they get along fine, and I suspect his new wife might rip the head off any female who comes within a half-mile of him, so I suppose she’s safe. Plus I don’t think she has any friends. :smiley: