Aparrantly my Assholedry is on a roll! (with appologies to Larry Mudd)(very long)

The BBQ Pit
1

I would post this in the other thread here but I don’t want to high jack it
more than it has been already plus I think we can all agree thats its pretty
much turned into a train wreck anyway plus there a few other people I want to
vent at as well.

You know, folks I on occasion get labeled an asshole and thats cool. I just
want to make sure you see the big picture before you go calling me an asshole.

First off I’d like to address the afore mentioned thread. (linked above)I was
being labeled an ass by Larry Mudd for reasons I’m not too sure of best
I can figure is something like this:

1.) I called bullshit on the OP. I did this because I can’t see anybody going
to jail over a traffic accident. Nor could I picture a cop arresting somebody
over this. I’d also like to point out that I wasn’t the only one who thought
they were being bullshitted.

Most people when they think they’re being bullshitted don’t ever say anything.
Why? I don’t know. I guess they do so to avoid confrontation or for whatever
else reasons that seem to elude me. Myself, I’ll call bullshit if I think I’m
hearing it because in most cases I’m right. (I’m not saying this is the case in
the above thread)I rather like this quality about myself but if you want to
label me an asshole so be it.

2.) Me and Larry got in a quibble over the difference between careless and
recklessto which I will concede to Larry Mudd yeah, if you want to
break out the Websters dictionary you’re right, careless and reckless mean the
same thing. (I still don’t think this constitutes me being an asshole.)Just to
me when I hear reckless I think driving over pedestrians at 100mph ect…

3.) Some seem to think-- I think this was the OP’s fault. While I do
think it is SOME of her fault I still say that it was 90% the drivers fault.

4.) I went over the line with my little cut down towards Larry Mudd to
which I do sincerely apologize to Larry. And Larry, if you are reading
this I do mean my apology whole heartedly. I realize this post may be coming
off as a bit stand off-ish; but None the less I do mean what I say.

Not excusing what I said by no means but when I’m hanging out with my
(guy)buddies and we start to rip’n on each other; that’s what we do. Its like a
contest to see who can come up with the most vile and disgusting put downs.
Obviously I’ve had a lot of practice.

Now having said all that I often get labeled an asshole when I only have the
best intentions in mind. Usually I get labeled an asshole because I speak very
blatantly, in other words I don’t candy coat shit. Case in point as follows:

The other day I was at a local pub that I frequent and this old girlfriend of
mine comes in. Now let me tell you about this girl, she lost her job about a
year and a half ago because she kept fucking up and skipping work. I mean, this
girl would just not come in or call or do anything for that matter. So they of
course fired her ass. Well since then she got evicted from her apartment, now
she has to live with her Mom because she doesn’t have any money. Did I mention
she is 33? Anyway for the past year and a half she has pretty much just been a
bum. She’ll come up there to the bar and just mooch drinks off of everybody.
Well she did this again the other day and I finally got fed up with it. So I
basically told her in a very loud voice so everybody could hear; that she needs
to get her shit together and go look for a fucking job. I then asked her why
the fuck does she even come in here (to the bar) if she doesn’t have any money?
To which she responded with something like “I come in here to see my friends” I
then told her “Bullshit! your friends don’t want to see you because they know
all your gonna do is bum drinks off of them. They just don’t tell you that
because they’re too nice and they don’t want to hurt your feelings!” I then
basically told her McDonald’s is hiring so is Sonic (she doesn’t have a college
degree)I said this because she kept giving me the tired old excuse “I can’t
find a job” To which I also responded with “Well no shit you stay up here at
the bar until 2a.m. then go home and sleep till 3 in the afternoon. Its kind of
hard to find a job when you’re asleep all day!”

Anyway, she got upset and left in tears. Afterwords some people in the bar did
come up to me and give me a pat on the back and said it was long overdue that
she was told that. However their were a lot of other fuckers that just wanted
to tell me what an asshole I am and that if I really cared about her (which I
do)that I would have taken her aside in private. Well, hello? she has been
taken to the side in private for over a year and a half and it hasn’t seemed to
do any good. I felt like a little public humility would give a shock to her
system and maybe knock some sense into her. I mean, hell, its not like I enjoyed
doing that.

Anyway to all those pretentious people up at the bar FUCK YOU! You’re the same
bastards that were telling me how tired you are of her coming in and bumming
drinks off of you. Don’t go calling me an asshole just because I’ve got the
moxie to say what you don’t!

Again Larry sorry for what I said.

2

I don’t know how I fucked that up???

Fixed link

As far as the wording goes… [shurgs shoulders]

3

Your an asshole is my judgement… though her friends were assholes too for not trying to convince her nicely/calmly before you just shoved the truth onto her face. IMHO.

4

If your asshole is dry maybe try some lotion.

5

Wow, you ARE an asshole. And worse, you’re one of those assholes that hide behind the lameass “I’m not an asshole, I just tell it like it is!” line.

6

Well, not only are you an asshole, you are an idiot and a fool.

7

Dude, I totally thought that this was going to be about some sort of new toilet paper called Asshole-dry. And of course it would be on a roll, cuz it’s freaking toiler paper.

But I was wrong, obviously. :smiley:

8

Uh, I have, her friends have and HER MOTHER DOES EVERY DAY. To which she always responds with "Yeah, yeah I know. Whatever :rolleyes: "

Well if “telling it like it is” makes me an asshole; then I’ll wear that label with pride.

Your arguements? Or are you like a sheep that just folloows the herd?

9

Meh, as far as that bit of “colour” was concerned, really-- it’s no skin off my nose. Yeah, it was was in poor taste, but I get the context that it was offered in. You don’t consider that “ass” and “moron” applied to you in any literal sense, so you responded with words that you didn’t intend to apply in any literal sense. That being said, of course, I do think that your position in that thread was one of a moronic ass, but really, in the grand scheme of things, (or even in the middling scheme of things,) the whole argument is pretty trivial. It’s unlikely that we’re ever going to see eye-to eye about it, but who gives a rat’s ass, really? Sound and fury, signifying nothing. (Burp.)

So no hard feelings, there. I agree that a further hijack of that thread would be pointless, and I regret dragging my own personal stuff into it, although I felt it couldn’t be avoided.

So. Abracadabra! Tabula rasa!

As for your friend, I agree, she either needs to get a job or find new friends.

10

SHAKES, I believe it is a very fine line between ‘telling it how it is’ and just plain being an asshole, but I think the example you have given is acceptable as telling someone in plain english to sort themselves out. I have had a friend similar to this who spent over a year jobless, on the dole, bumming drinks, sleeping all day etc. At first everyone was cool helping him out but gradually people would start to talk behind his back but at the same time still being nice to his face. A few people did try to gently tell him he should get himself sorted but he never really listened. In the end I had a massive go at him (not in front of anyone else) and told him to get his shit together. He did and he thanked me later for shaking him up a bit. Now I don’t make a habit of this, i’d say that this was an extreme situation but an acceptable one to do it in. Just be careful that you don’t become (or already are) one of those guys who feels the need to constantley tell people their faults because it isn’t a very indering endearing quality to have.

11

Honesty doesn’t make you an asshole. Taking it upon yourself to humiliate someone in public “for her own good” (Who appointed you her guardian?) makes you an asshole.

12

I agree with what you’re saying there. I felt I had the right since she is my friend and I do care about her. Plus her moms too much of a softy she basically lets her daughter get away with this. Meanwhile she (the mother) has to work extra hours now to pay for her 33yo daughters shit. Not a cool thing to do to an old lady.

(btw good deal Larry)

13

You had a right to refuse to buy her a drink and to tell her you would never buy her a drink. You had a right to take her aside and in a conversational tone, that could only be heard between the two of you if noone were eavesdropping, tell her that she needs to get her shit together and that you know for a fact that people are getting tired of picking up her drinking tab. Causing a scene to humiliate her wasn’t your right. When you did that, you crossed the line of being a straight talking, tell it like it is friend, to being an asshole.

In that other thread, you were basically sticking up for a fellow asshole’s right to be an asshole. That’s the stance you took. I for one was glad that asshole was taking to jail. And if you find yourself in similiar circumstances as that driver and you behave the way he did, I hope that you are also taken to jail. Being an asshole is not a badge of honor. It is what you call a selfish, egotistical, “the world is mine, fuck everyone else”, antisocial degenerate.

I really hope that you one day decide to fight against your asshole tendencies instead of embracing them.

14

I had the same “tell it like it is” attitude as you at one time. Eventually, however, I got in a long argument with a substitute teacher about it, and ever since the sixth grade, I’ve understood that tact and honesty are not incompatible.

You don’t come across as acknowledgeing that you might be wrong, that there might be facts you do not know. That lack of humility is ultimately what damns you. When you called bullshit in the previous thread, you basically accused the OP of being a liar, when it turned out it was your own ignorance at fault. Next time, if you assume that maybe you don’t know everything, you won’t make such an egregious accusation against someone like that.

Daniel

15

And here lies the line betwixt the concerned friend and the asshole. Cut and paste in the phrase “took her aside and quietly explained” in the appropriate place to work out the difference.

16

What a strange apology.

17

That’s probably because it was a rationalization, not an apology.

18

Wow, that’s on a par with the “apologies” I used to get from a former friend. I’d make a joke she took umbrage to, she’d call me every name in the book, then she’d dismiss it as losing her temper at what I’d said ('coz I was such an asshole that I’d made her be an asshole, so it really wasn’t her fault at all, y’understand.)

I think what the OP doesn’t understand is that there’s a difference between acting in an assholish manner, and being an asshole. We all act assholishly sometimes, despite our best intentions. It’s how we react to having acting assholishly that seperates the general population from the assholes. See, if you can recognize that your behavior was assholish and sincerely apologize for it, you’re not really an asshole. If you can say, “Gosh, I didn’t mean it that way, but I can see where it might come across as being an asshole. I’m sorry if it upset you,” you’re not really an asshole. If you defend your bad behavior, and are proud of it, then yeah, you really ARE an asshole.

19

Well if after my OP you still want to label me an asshole then thats perfectly fine by me. I just wanted to make sure people know why they’re calling me an asshole. That is to say if some one wanted to label me an asshole because they thought I was a racist, then I’d have a problem with that because I’m NOT a racist. BOTOH if some one wants to label me an asshole because I like loud music, drinking beer and wild women, then yeah, label me an asshole.

This is what strikes my curiousity though: I’ve already told you all that she HAS been taken to the side by numerous people to wich she always responds with “yeah, yeah, I know what ever :rolleyes:” So whats the next course of action if you really DO want to help said girl?

Also it seems to me that some people take this PC thing a little too seriously. I mean it’s like if a doctor came up to you and said “We can cure your son of terminal cancer, except the only way we can do it is by pulling his teeth out with a pair of pliers and we can’t use any pain killers.” From what I’m getting from some of you; you’d be like “Oh, no that wouldn’t be right! Its absolutely too barbaric. I’d rather let my son die in piece at the ripe old age of 5.” Myself, I’d tell’m to yank away.

Now what I did at the bar wasn’t pretty but at least it was effective as far as I can tell because she hasn’t been back in the bar since this happend. (last Friday which for her is a long time) I’m going to call her Mom later on this week to find out how shes doing.

And if she is getting her shit together and looking for a job; you can bet I’ll be back here to gloat. :wink:

20

Plenty of people have managed to like beer, loud music and wild women without being assholes. It’s not what you like that makes you an asshole, it’s how you treat other people.

**

Leave her alone and trust that she’s an adult who can make her own decisions?

**

If I truly thought the only way to save a child involved inflicting massive amounts of pain, I’d be willing to do it. Was this woman in danger of dropping dead if you didn’t act like a prick?

No doubt. Then you’ll use it as justification the next time you decide to act like an asshole, which you’ll use to justify your next bit of assholery, and the circle of life will continue.