I think it’s kinda sad that he’s blaming people thinking he’s an asshole on “PC”. No, dude, you’re acting like an asshole, that’s why people think you’re an asshole. Political correctness has nothing to do with it.
Yeah, I get that. The jist of what I’m saying still stands. It’s not like I pick people out at random and start fucking with them. She is my friend for fucks sake thats why I even bothered to say ANYTHING at all. Now if this were some lady that I didn’t even know I’d just tell her to leave me alone.
That sounds like what something somebody would do if they didn’t give a shit if their friends life was going to the crapper. That might be fine with you but not me.
Lets just say said friend got her self hooked on Crack. Would I be a good friend if I just sat by and let her fuck up her life?
So, in your opinion some one has to have nearly one foot in the grave before you should show that you give a shit about them. Nice.
But you… But I… they didn’t…
Well, alright you got me there. I would see it as a ends justifies the means.
[pats GMRyujin on the head]
That’s cute GMRujin, you make me laugh. You seem to know how not to go about handeling the situation; how about a clue as to what the RIGHT thing would be to do?
Agreed; it really sounds like the primary motive behind it all was a poorly-judged attempt to impress the audience.
Ah, brother! Now you guys are just reach’n.
I guess I’ll conede. I’m an asshole. Who am I to argue? After all how can 11 or so people be wrong? I’ll still never understand how trying to knock some sense into my friend qualifies as such, but so be it. [stamps foehead: ASSHOLE]
Anyway, I’m out of here for 10 days to go off on my anual ski trip. I can tell by all the love I feel in this thread that you guys might be concerned that I might break a leg or hurt myself in some way; BUT DON"T WORRY GUYS I’LL BE REAL CAREFULL.
I know we don’t always see eye to eye but I still love you guys anyway…
Awe shucks come here you…
[Simotaniously hugs EVERY member of the straightdope message board followed by a big wet slopy kiss… (tonge was involved)]
Peace.
Bullshit.
Why would you make a point of making sure everyone could hear, if not that you were more concerned about them being impressed by your incisive wit than about any potential benefit to your victim?
And of course 11 people can be wrong; it just happens that on this occasion, they are not.
Enjoy your an(u)al ski trip. Don’t forget to pack a roll of AssHoleDry in case you fall over.
I really have no faith in getting through your thick skull, but I’ll try-this is not a black-and-white issue. You’re not a good friend if you stand idly by and watch your friend’s life deteriorate. However, the manner in which you elected to do it makes you an asshole.
I have a friend who was in a similar position to your friend. He dropped out of college, worked part time, and spent the rest of his time drunk. We worked together, and everyone there was concerned about him. He’s a smart guy, and he was wasting his potential, not to mention his liver. His mom paid his rent and gave him money even though he was 25 and out of school.
So-I was worried about a friend of mine. Everyone else was worried about our friend. We thought he needed to get a real job or get back in school and stop drinking so damned much. I was amazed that his mom would continue subsidizing this, and thought it was a pretty shitty thing to waste all the money she’d spent on college for him by giving up.
At no point did I even consider lecturing him in private, let alone in front of people. He was a grown-up, who had to make his own decisions. The fact that I didn’t like all of them meant nothing-he didn’t exist to please me. His mom was a grown-up who could make her own decisions. This isn’t PC gone awry-it’s a basic fact of existence.
I would ask him questions about what he wanted to do with his life. I once asked him, in private, how his mom felt about this. When he came in complaining he was hung over, I would say “Again?” or make jokes about it. It never occurred to me to humiliate him in front of his friends or coworkers, because that’s not I operate. Had I done that, they all would have rushed to his defense even though they agreed with me. It would have made me a self-righteous bitch, so anything I said would have been lost in a flood of “Oh, she’s just a bitch.” If I really, really cared about helping him, and I did, I would have just shot myself in the foot. The lesson he drew was less likely to be “I need to change my life” than “Damn, I need to avoid Fionn.”
Eventually, he began to talk to me about how he wasn’t happy with his life. I listened without judgement and offered encouragement where I sincerely could. Turns out things weren’t quite as we’d all assumed. When he got fired, he took it as a opportunity to change his life, so now he’s going back to school and planning a career.
Somehow, he managed to do all this without me acting like a bitch toward him.
Not at all.
SHAKES, I ask this out of desperation. Could you possibly tattoo “SHAKES” on your forehead? The thought of running into you somewhere has me rattled. If you got the tattoo, I could just turn and run away.
Anyone else get the feeling that when SHAKES speaks, it’s in a loud, grating, obnoxiously penetrating voice? :rolleyes:
Huh, what a shock, acting like a condescending asshole.
Since I’ve been appointed the all-knowing oracle, here’s what I would’ve done: Minded my own business. Because it’s not my duty to “knock some sense” into people. If others are tired of buying her drinks, they can stop buying her drinks. If she wants to hang out in the bar and live with her mom, she’s a big girl, it’s her own call. Live and let live. I know, horrible philosophy, but there you have it.
EddyTeddyFreddy-I actually picture a big, red-faced drunk yelling “GIT OUTTA MAH BAR!”
Holy shit, he’s from Texas. I got the accent and everything.
You mean like a cross between Jerry Lewis and Fran Drescher, but without their charm? Yeah, I could see that.
But this is exactly what you did. You replied to StarvingButStrong (a complete stranger on a message board) and said unequivocally that her story about the guy being arrested was bullshit. You don’t know her, you weren’t there, you did not see what happened, but her story had to be bullshit, and you felt the need to reiterate that several times in that thread.
This is picking someone out at random and fucking with them. It is assholish. Whatever kind of great guy you might be otherwise, this is why the folks here are upset with you.