Assholes

The BBQ Pit
1

Assholes are people that:

You leave a message for and they don’t call you back, people that you have serious questions for. People you need an answer from or it fucks with your job if it doesn’t get answered in a timely manner.

Assholes are people that:

Cut you off in traffic knowing fully if you had to stop suddenly you would rear end them. Guess they need the insurance money. Well my piece of shit needs to be replaced, but right now it will get to points A & B and that’s all I give a shit about, I don’t want to replace it right now you fuck. Same goes for asshole ass drivers.

Assholes are people that:

Talk behind your back. They have nothing better to with their pitiful lives but give themselves an ego boost because their lives must suck so bad they can only feel better about themselves by putting down others in the privacy of their realm. Everyhere in my life there are ears in the walls, I know more about discussions than you want to know. Family, you are not discounted from this one at all!

Assholes are people that:

Leave their dogs outside at night. They figure the whole fucking neighborhood should know that the dog has spotted a cat in the middle of the night. Oh and those assholes can be K-9 cops. Hey dickheads, my dog is left inside at night, he doesn’t bark at 3:00 am so leave your fucking dog inside. If you can’t handle and train your dog then you shouldn’t have a dog to begin with.
Assholes are people that:

Can be related to you family wise. They never give you the benefit of the doubt, only look to see the worst in you. Oh this goes for former friends too, regardless if you were right or wrong, they only see the worst. Usually this stems from one little issue that doesn’t shake the United Nations or anything else for that matter.

Assholes are people that:

Even if you have facts at hand, they look at you as though you are fucked in the head and only end up getting pissed when you present the facts as proven. They get defensive and bully you continuously. You know the entire time they realize their error and refuse to acknowledge it.

Assholes are people that:

Call me early in the morning, they know I stay up late. I am a fucking night person damnit. I was born that way. If you have a problem with that then I suggest you get a broom stick, shove far up your ass and ride it hard. Don’t call me all cheery at 9:00 am and expect a positive response.

Assholes are people that:

Stand in the middle of the fucking grocery isle, cart in the middle and I can’t get through. I say excuse me but sit there like they are mezmerized by the Cocoa Puffs box on the shelf. They sit there in this state and look at you like you’re the asshole because you crossed their line of site, not once understanding you acknowledged your intrusion on their cereal box viewing.

Assholes are people that:

Are assholes.

I hate assholes, I wish assholes would clog their assholes up and learn that our universe doesn’t revolve around their asshole. In fact, their asshole tendencies only bring more hostility and give people more ammo for asshole tendencies in return.

It doesn’t take that much to be nice, forgive and forget. To understand that their actions do have a negative effect on those around them. That being an asshole doesn’t further our human existance. That for once it’s okay to be a nice person, that being a part of the crowd does not mean it’s okay to be an asshole.

To be an asshole must take tremendous energy because I have have never felt it to be rewarding nor satisfying.

So to all the assholes out there in the world, fuck you. Next time you decide to be an asshole, let it be known that I know you are in need of help and I pity you.

I refuse to be an asshole. I may be wrong but I rarely am mean for the sake of being mean. If you cross my path and are obvious, I might attempt to give your medicine back cuz it’s a nasty thing really.

If I cut you off in traffic and know I did so I usually give a gesture of “duh, I am stupid”. If I give you reason to pause about my behavior, pull me aside, gently and tell me I fucked up…but don’t be an asshole about it.

< man I feel better >

Anyone else with a bitch about assholes?

2

Well, it’s like my dad always used to say, “You can’t kill all the assholes in the world. There aren’t enough bullets.” It probably would’ve been better if he hadn’t tested that theory.

3

Be brave, if you an asshole, admit it here.

If you can’t stand being nice for one second, let us know. We are here to help you.

If you can’t find it in your heart to not be an asshole, I know of several people that can steer you in the right direction.

If you cut people off in traffic, talk behind people’s backs, are mean for the sake of being mean there are people that can help you. It really is a curable problem, really.

4

I agree. You even have people on the board that suck up to someone, only to turn around in chat and cut them to shreds. What is with this? I cannot understand this? Do the people in chat not realize that what they say in chat is being said to the very people on the SD board? There is an invisible mode there, people are observing the chat that the chatroom is not aware of.
I see people post all these nice things about someone and then go in chat and talk about them totally opposite.
When you tell something in chat, it’s also known on the board even if it’s not posted. If you have sex with someone and talk about it in the chatroom, you can believe that most of the board knows about it too.

5

I don’t know who this all is directed at, but I’ll start the ball rolling and comment on this 'cause I have said some things in chat I certainly didn’t really mean about some people, one of them being TC’s friend. I seriously doubt that I am important enough that this post was directed at me, however since I am guily of some of the behavior TC noted I will post to clear my concience.

Sometimes people don’t take chat very seriously. It is a much different atmosphere than thinking carefully about a post and taking the time to type. Sometimes by the time you type your response the topic has changed completely. Sometimes you jump into chat, and are just trying to go with the flow. There are also a wide range of competing strong personalities in there, and that can be difficult to deal with. What I post on the board I mean, and I almost always have really thought about seriously.

Sometimes you jump on real quick when you’re in an especially bad mood, and you just want to start flaming people when they are innocent. A particular male poster has made me especially mad by being an absolutely arrogant, “look at me, I’ve got a 4-digit post count, no way am I a loser” fuckhead over the last two days, who doesn’t even have the decency or politeness to be civil or apologetic to a lowly 3-digit post count person. And that clouds my judgement somewhat.

Sometimes people are not used to being friends or liking a large number of people who dislike each other, and it is difficult to to determine how to “act” around them so you won’t offend them.

I have an odd/very dark sense of humor sometimes. I can see humor in things that may seem mean, but I’m not really trying to be mean. This is because I’m especially mean towards myself, and people are quite used to hearing me talk about how ugly, worthless, and stupid I am - here and IRL. If I couldn’t find some humor in shortcomings of myself, I would have put a gun in my mouth a long time ago.

I would not take with near as much seriousness what’s said in chat as compared to what is posted on the board. If I really didn’t like someone, I do have the courage to put it in “permanent” form on the board, for all to read. And yes, I do know that chat is not only populated with invisible people, but that it can be logged and posted by the visible ones as well - my net experience probably predates that of 90% of the board, after all.

However, while I am really a nice person I am also emotional and reactionary sometimes (like others), and those qualities make me assholic when I let them over-ride good judgement. Therefore, I resolve to keep my emotions and my dark humor in check more since I might be the cause of offence. And I do humbly apologize with no other excuses to techchick for not being as nice as normal in chat. But you must believe if I really did have any issues, I post them or tell the person to their face.

I still think you are a nice, kind, intelligent, friendly, and beautiful person who has not shown me anything but kindness, and I mean that.

Una

6

I’m outing you Techchick cuz you’re an asshole.

I’m an asshole too.

In fact, everyone on the SDMB is an asshole or at least has been at some point in their lives. ::Maybe I should just quit SDMB now before the Mods kick me off (would that count as an asshole thing to do?)::

Freak’s dad is right because EVERYONE is an asshole at some point in their lives…you’d pretty much have to shoot everyone. The true assholes…the ones who are consistent in their assholishness are thankfully few and far between. People like Saddam Hussein or Adolf Hitler who worked REALLY hard at being a perpetual asshole.

Let’s debunk a few items of the original rant to see if we haven’t all been guilty at one time or another…

You’ve NEVER been late returning a phone call? NEVER tried avoiding that weenie guy or gal who won’t leave you alone? NEVER had a client who called 30 times in one day till you got sick of it and didn’t return a call till later in the week? NEVER been asked a question you didn’t have an immediate answer for?

You’ve NEVER done anything while driving that would cause another driver to swear at you? Techie presumably has had a drivers license for about 16 years and not once did she do anything stupid? Hell, I manage to get someone swearing at me a few times a month in traffic. At 3 hours driving per day passing several thousand autos a week the law of averages says I’m gonna piss someone off sooner or later.

Puhleeeze! I despise this as well but you’re not human (or don’t live among humans) if you’ve never done this. I mean, you’ve NEVER talked about your girlfriend’s asshole boyfriend to another friend (or reverse for guys)? C’mon…

This could go on but you (hopefully) get my point.

In short…don’t be the asshole that points to everyone else being assholes till you look in the mirror. There just might be an asshole staring back at you!

7

Most people are either assholes or have assholic behavior at some times, like myself. People in general need to be more polite about it.

When people tell you that you are being an asshole, you should at least think about your behavior a second and see if you agree. And if not, you should defend yourself.

But if you are being one, you should at least admit it, explain why (if necessary or applicable), apologise honestly, and just move on. And not a general “if I offended anyone I apologise” kinda shit. You know if you have offended someone, and can at least speak to directly to them and show them respect, no matter how arrogant you are. Sweeping generalized apologies are just another snub in itself.

When apologised to, if you believe it to be honest and heartfelt you should acknowledge it, or else explain why you still have difficulty accepting it.

In general many people ought to be more polite, and more willing to apologise directly when they are an asshole.

8

Anybody else thinking of Denis Leary right now?
“I’m an asshole, (He’s an asshole, What an asshole)”

9

First off, Jeff, I hope you are kidding me:

If so that’s just being an asshole. I didn’t single anyone out on the board or in real life. My rant is essentially to bitch about assholes and hopefully get some people to fess up that they are assholes and hopefully can find it in their hearts to quit being assholes.

10

I’m not singling you out per se Techie…at least no more so than anyone else on the face of the planet. I was merely trying to point out that we all have a bit of the asshole in us. Chances are the ass who cut you off on the expressway is a really nice guy/gal. For whatever reason they had a bug up their ass about something and chose to drive like a jerk next to you. I don’t think most people consider themslef to be an asshole to the extent that they need to admit it to themselves as a basic character flaw. In fact, the TRUE assholes, the ones who behave as such day-to-day, are probably fully aware of their asshole status and CULTIVATE it because they think it’s cool or get some perverse pleasure from being like that.

There’s no help for either type of asshole I described. The on-occasion asshole probably knows they fucked-up and either forgets it or resolves to try and not do it again. The second type I described above is beyond hope and only karma will teach them the error of their ways.

Perhaps I should apologize at the ‘outing you’ bit but I don’t know if that’s allowed in the Pit. Anyway, it was an apparently lame attempt at humor in response to your request for people to step forward. I was essentially volunteering you in reponse to your own question (heh heh…get it?). I do not really believe your an asshole in terms of your character but I believe that you have the potential much as anyone else does.

11

I have a category for asshole: Someone who leaves family members behind to go on vacation without paying the water bill before hand.

Actually, a more specific definition of that would be: Stupid Asshole or my Dad, either way is accurate.

12

everyone has a tendency to be an asshole. There is not one day that goes by that you(people in general) don’t have a thought that would make you an asshole. How many time have you got in a hurry and driving like an idiot cut someone off. Happens all the time. I do agree that assholes that go out of thier way to be one can go fuck themselves but not everyone is innocent. IMHO

13

Actually DarkHeart,

In my younger years I drove like an asshole. These days, if I am late I am late and wont jeapordize other people’s lives because of it.

If I pull I stupid, I acknowledge my stupidity to the person usually with a hand to my head like I am hitting myself.

I understand we all have asshole tendencies, but I try very hard to not be an asshole. In fact, I probably get stepped on more because I not an asshole.

14

Darkheart, there’s a difference between having occasional asshole thoughts and actions as opposed to being someone that does it all the time. An asshole is someone that is constantly doing asshole type stuff. If a non-asshole person does something that seems assholish, does that make the non-asshole an asshole for seeming like an asshole for that one instance? I think assholes call non-assholes assholes because the real asshole wants to jump on someone that is not an asshole for doing something that might seem assholish.

I hope this makes sense, for assholes and non-assholes alike.

15

We all do dumb things that inconvenience others. I think the key to being an asshole is that you may start out merely being oblivious or inconsiderate, but when someone takes even the slightest umbrage, you attack them instead of apologizing or admitting your momentary idiocy.

Non-asshole: blocks grocery lane while pondering cereal choice, but jumps from reverie and apologizes and moves when you say, “excuse me” and try to get by them.

Asshole: person described in OP who gives you a dirty look for coming within one centimeter of their precious cart because they totally ignored your polite “excuse me” and you have no other choice but to edge around them.

16

It took me a couple to tries but it made sence.

And I do agree with you about it. Im talking from experience on it(just this morning) I got cut off and I turn into instant asshole. I speed up caught the asshole got in front of him and slowed down. Pissed him off but at least the next time he tried to get infront of me he used his damn signal!

Im normally an asshole but every now and then…that was my point.

17

I have a pin that says

Shit doesn’t just happen, it’s left behind by assholes

it’s about as close as I’ve ever come to finding my philosophy of life on a pin.

18

I must be an asshole, because the closest a pin has come to summing up my “motto” is this:

“I’m sorry, was that not politically correct?”

What I mean is that I have a tendency to speak my mind freely, as a lot of you know.

Sometimes, it gets me into trouble. Sometimes I say things and people get their feelings hurt. It happens to all of us, as some Captains Obvious above have pointed out, but it happens to me more often, becasue I have a commitment to the truth. Because I won’t tell people what they want to hear. Because if someone is being a whiny bitch, I will tell them.
Life is rough, get a helmet.

I’m not going to go into a “personal philosophy” lecture about life here. Those of you who know me, already know me.

I’m hard on people. You know what? I’m twice as hard on myself. I don’t fuck around, buttering people’s asses, coddling a whiner. I don’t tend to suffer the shit of emotionally unstable people with a smile. All that shit’s for the birds.
That’s why I try not to hang out with this kind of person. Life’s too short to be depressed all the time.

So if that makes me an asshole, fine. I’m an asshole.
Anyway, do you have any idea when and if you’ll be gravitating towards a point, techchick? Could you just come right out and say what you mean, and who you mean it about? I’m really curious as to what’s going on, and who it is that is rubbing you the wrong way.
Can you please cut through all this crap and just say what’s on your mind?
Please?
I can’t help but noticinng a subtext here, and I am just curious as to what the real deal Holyfield is.

19

Lexicon,

I am summing up my opinion on assholes as a group. Is it not possible that I had a long rant about shit going on in my life without it being directed at anyone specifically?

Okay, were you the jerk that stood there, never acknowledged the fact that I needed through the isle in the grocery store? I think not.

Was that you that cut me off the other day on I-25? I don’t know, I don’t know what kind of car you drive so it could have been you.

You aren’t in my family so I am pretty sure I didn’t hear that so and so said this about me during the last family gathering.

I just took a list of my bitches and combined them into a rant about assholes.

Quite simple actually.

20

Yes it is very possible.
That’s all I was asking.

I just wanted to know, and now I do.
Thanks!
Hope everything works out for you.