This Forbes article is stirring up a lot of women here at work. Its a point-counterpoint set up and one of the authors says that a “career woman” with a larger salary than her spouse (or makes over $30,000 a year) is less likely to have children and more likely to cheat.
Well, the gals in my lab will never have a problem. Research assistants are rarely paid more than the “marriageable” amount. :rolleyes: Maybe that’s why so many of us are women. . .
Now I need to talk to Mr. Maven. “Honey, did you marry me because I make less money than you and will never threaten your ‘bread winner’ status?”
(Really, what was this guy thinking? Families usually need two working adults. Many are lucky if they make $30,000 a year as a two income household. WTF?)
I did read an article about men not wanting to marry women who make more or as much as women do. By no means is it all men, but enought that it was considered a “worrisome trend.” I think it was a Maureen O’Dowd article.
I’ve also read that high-earning career women are more likely to have affairs, although that can be attributed to the fact that high-earning career women are more capable of having affairs, what with the end of home milk delivery and all.
You know, I said that when I remarried I would marry for money. I didn’t think I’d be the one with the money*. My husband obviously did not read the article.
I don’t like the tone of the article, but the counterpoint argument is pretty bad too. If both of you are working you can automatically afford a maid? What is that? Plus, her only evidence against the claims made in the studies the guy cited is herself. As the other columnist wrote, the studies don’t say that you will automatically get divorced, be a terrible wife, etc if you make more than $30k and work more than 35 hours a week. It just says that statistically, you are more likely to have these bad things happen. I haven’t read the study, but barring some big errors in the analysis, that’s probably true. What’s so controversial here?
Seriously… who cares? I’ve heard it all my life. Men don’t want a woman who’s smarter than them. Men don’t want a woman who’s funnier than them. Men don’t want a woman who makes more money than them. Apparently the only thing men want women to be “more” than they are is attractive.
What the hell would I want with *that * guy anyway? It’s not like I’m in the market for someone who’s dumber, less funny, and poorer than I am, let alone someone who sees these things as flaws on *my * part.
You’re right, these opinions have been around for a loooonnng time. Its surprizing to see them “proved” by an article in a respected business journal.
IMHO, there is a push for women to “return to more traditional roles.” The people who want this 1950’s like “ideal” don’t realize that it never existed. Women have been working as long as there have been homo sapiens.
It is true that when women have incomes capable of supporting themselves, they are less likely to stay in an unhappy marriage. I wonder about stats like these, because I wonder about the measurement system. Are they measuring contentment in the marriage or divorce rates - because there are lots of unhappy married people out there who can’t afford to divorce (he seems to use unhappy and divorce interchangably in his essay). And lots of other variables - is a two career couple more likely to remain childless - and therefore less likely to “stay together for the kids?”
Actually, he would be richer than you, and like it that way. Intelligent males actually encourage these feelings, in order to shrink the pool of potential competitors. You didn’t hear that from me, of course.
Well, for a little different perspective, I don’t mind my wife making more money than me…in the abstract. It doesn’t threaten me…that she makes more money than I do.
But during the periods when she has made more money than I do, she tells everyone. Whenever there’s any kind of excuse to bring it into the conversation, however flimsy, she will – and if she doesn’t get a reaction, she’ll repeat it, to make sure everyone’s heard.
I don’t know about this. My mother always made more money than my father. She had more formal education than him as well. It never appeared to be an issue, and I don’t think she ever cheated on him (or him her).
Articles like this of course paint with a broad brush. Two emotionally secure people who treat each other with love, respect, and dignity have a much better shot at a happy marriage (or long-term relationship) regardless of who makes what. IMO, of course.
In the best marriage I know, the wife makes ~4.5 times more than the husband and given their respective careers if anything that discrepancy is likely to increase over time. Hasn’t seemed to have hurt their relationship any.
Well, unless Law and Order has been lying to me all this time, those husbands who do marry women who make more DO tend to kill them, or try, more often…
Now this part I don’t find all that hard to believe, because I think it would probably apply just as equally to men (I don’t suppose the Forbes article made any comparison, did it?)
People earning higher salaries are usually spending longer hours at work, or have more invested in building and continuing their careers, and so would be less likely to take the time to have and raise lots of kids.
As for cheating, your co-workers will probably have the same interests, goals and gripes as you, so if you’re in a job that causes you to spend more time with them than with your spouse, why would anyone be surprised that cheating starts to become more frequent?
My SIL has a higher degree than my Bro. If his company didn’t deal under the table, she’d make 50% as much as he does. With the “extra”, they make about as much but she still makes more.
Either of them makes enough for day-to-day living; they use Bro’s income for this, and hers for “extras and savings”. They find it easier than pooling it all up and then re-splitting.
Given SIL’s general attitudes about sex, if she ever cheats we’ll be too surprised for words. When they’d been married for some 9 months, they were having some difficulties (due to some medical problems and to SIL’s inability to relax): Mom and me told her about lubricants, “girl on top” and “doggie style” :smack:
If I ever get married I’m about as likely to cheat as to jump off the Petronas. Theoretically it could happen, but hell, if I marry someone after 40 years or more spent single, I’m not making those vows lightly!
Statistics are the opposite of anecdotes and I’ve always enjoyed being an outlier.