It all started one summer many years ago(hopefully the statute of limitations has run out). Some friends and I had gone to Myrtle Beach for the weekend, and we stopped at South of the Border, and bought some fireworks. We had a grand old time, setting off all sorts of things that fly, shoot and go pop. Several of the guy were in the National Guard/ Reserves, and one day they brought home a surprise, a pair of Army practice grenades. We removed ourselves to a nearby empty field to test our new toy. Bob(not his real name) pulled the pin, and chucked Mr. Grenade into the distance. We crouched behind a car, and counted down: 1…2…3…4…5…15…16…20…
Hmmmmm.
Bob: “dogbutler, go get it.”
Me" “f–k you, you go get it.”
We peeked over the hood and BOOM! We retreated to the apartment for a well deserved beer. A few weeks later we had a fire works fight with some guys in the apartment across from us. They peppered us with all sort of items, so Bob pulled out grenade #2. A practice grenade will not shatter a sliding glass door, but it will put a four foot crack in the glass. We avoided getting nailed by the cops, but nobody got their deposit back when they moved out. The moral of the story? Things that go bang are cool, and if you want to avoid a “Hey y’all! watch this!”, let a trained professional handle them.
Ha! I’m first!
Of course it’s only 9:00 pm here…
Good OP DB, but just what is it with guys who like to make things explode? I like to watch movies with magnificent explosions, but in real life the only fireworks I like are the pretty sparkly colored ones.
I suppose I don’t need to tell you that you are lucky to have all of your fingers, right? (You do have all of your fingers, right?)
Good Monday Morning everyone, this week is the beginning of some major remodel, so I’ll be in and out as the demolition and reconstruction is in progress.
Things that go Boom! Yay! My father and my uncle both stored their, er, incendiary devices in their ammo footlockers from their respective Asian adventures with the Army and the Marines, respectively. I believe they had some live somethings too, either stowed away or purchased later from unnamed sources. You don’t question men who leave the back issues of *Soldier of Fortune * laying around too closely, at any rate. My father even built a cannon, the firing of which brought his brother out of the hills post-haste. You can have a lot more fun and blow more stuff up, louder, when you not only live out in the hills, but own them, too. The neighbors don’t tend to complain when you own their houses. And then they went and made fireworks illegal in our county and built a fire station right down the road and spoiled all the fun. And then they went and made semi-automatic guns fully illegal and really spoiled all the fun. 'Course, they made 'em legal again after a long while. It was amazing, all the booming in the hills that weekend, from guns that somehow didn’t need any sort of waiting period to be brought home. Somehow, through it all, no one ever lost any body parts, not the little kids or the big kids, either. Traumatized a lot of dogs, though. I think one of the only things my uncle wanted after my dad died was the cannon. That’s because he knew there was no way my mom was opening the gun safe to let him have a crack at those. I don’t think everything, if anything, in there is legal and I don’t want to know, either. They’re guns. They’re big, they go boom and the recoil will knock you on your ass if you’re not careful when you fire them. That’s all I care to know.
Explosions are neat. Unless they cause bad things like bodily harm or death.
Fixed your sentence for you 
I’m against bodily harm or death except in certain special cases. Mostly I just want to give people wedgies.
Ohh my. I can’t let hubby see this one… He loves things that go BOOM! He wants to build a potato or pumpkin gun strong enough to hit Bill Gates’s house. (It’s directly across Lake Washington)
I don’t understand… [sub]Walks away, shaking head[/sub]
I’m a girl, and I like things that go boom! If a movie has lots of explosions, I know it’s a movie we need to see. Die Hard and Lethal Weapon are two of my favs. 
Catch y’all later in the day, gotta get up early to get my kids ready for school.
Sneezy
Eh, the novelty wears off with the whole “things that go boom” thing pretty fast. I prefer things that go FHHHHWWWHHOOOOOOSHHHHH!!!
Good Monday Morning everyone! Nice OP, dogbutler, although now I’m wondering if you’ve still got all your fingers and toes! And a huge thanks to everyone who wished me happy birthday last Monday - I had a great day though subdued, and it was very nice to see all the birthday wishes!! Thanks again! 
kaiwik, good luck on your remodeling project! My weekend was fairly quiet; Saturday’s highlight was a trip to Target and the grocery store. laughs Saturday afternoon, there was an International Festival just down the street from me which culminated in fireworks, which we were able to see from our patio, so we enjoyed a bit of a ka-boom ourselves this weekend.
So, it’s back to work today. Enjoy your Monday folks!
My FIL tells the tale of his misspent youth when he built a cannon. He knew from his research and watching movies and stuff that to fire it, you lit the powder or fuse or something (I’m not a go-boom expert) then cover the little hole with your thumb so the BOOM is channeled out the business end of the cannon. What he didn’t realize was that the thumb guys wore a leather doowhatsis on their thumbs. :eek: Which explains FIL’s funky looking thumb tip.
Personally, I don’t like big noises or wreaking havoc just for the heck of it. However, I absolutely love watching the controlled explosions of old buildings where they manage to drop all the debris in a very contained area. I saw a clip on line of the old Jacksonville Coliseum being dropped - if I recall, it was timed so that it started with one section, then worked its way around the circumference of the building and the flattening was a work of art. That is just way cool!
But I’m not a gun person and I get no thrill from senseless destruction. If only we used our power for goodness and niceness…
Happy Monday! Whose turn was it to bring snacks??
I like things that go boom, too, but only if they’re far enough away that I don’t have to run or anything.
Much pain today, staying home again, which is probably bad, but I don’t care. As an added bonus, everyone who went camping, including Roomie, ended up with a not-pretty stomach flu. So hooray for staying home.
I was traveling in Tibet in 1985 in the middle of winter back when Tibet was first opened to westerners. My buddy and I were on the lam from the police. We’d been taking buses over 16,000 feet passes and kept getting shunted from one place to another by the police. “You’re not supposed to be here, why don’t you leave so we don’t have to bust you.”
Finally our sins caught up with us in the middle of no where - a 5 day bus ride from the nearest Provincial capital and pretty much only civilized place. Put it another way, we were 5 days away from the nearest shower and toilet paper. Anyhoo, ran out of road. It was still being built. Only saving grace was there were only 3 buses per month so the police couldn’t really kick us out because there was no bus nor mail truck for at least a week.
Some of the local Tibetan’s befriended us and set us up with a group of doctors heading out of the small (2000 pop) town and into the Tibetan mountain villages. About 2 hour drive we get to the real end of the road - an upper reach of the Yangzi river and no bridge. So, I’ve got photo’s of me sliding across the river sitting on a t-bar with a pulley ala Wild Wild West type action.
More adventures took place but won’t bore you with that now. Ended up hiking 3 days to the next road. Well, they were building the road. Walked on mountain trails and finally decended to where they were working on a new mountain road above the river. Hit a place where a narrow side gulley went down to the Yangzi with two planks across the gap. Mind that there was about a 30 foot drop into a raging gulley that fed into the seriously narrow, white water and deep Yangzi river upper reach with steep cliffs and no obviously way out if you fell into it. So, I’m what the fuck, and go pounding across the planks. Mid-way through I realize that the planks are bouncing up and down about 1 foot with each step I take and was coming real close to the edge of the cliff when it bounced down. Needless to say I made it across and didn’t even soil my shorts.
somehow there were two Chinese guys there, which is wierd since were in the middle of Tibet where even today few people would ever go to. One then took the backpack of my companion and walked it across the gap. Then my 6’7" 250 pound buddy scooted across on his ass sweating bullets. Gave 'em some real Marlboro cigs, which were unavailable in China at the time, and by way of reward one guy said “if it’s real quiet, get the hell outta there” and some other stuff I didn’t understand so well. To my credit, they were speaking some gawdawful Chinese dialect.
So, we kinda shrug and part ways. Go down this flat road bed for maybe half a mile and there was a big pile of dust covered rubble. We start to climb over that 20 foot high hill of lose rock and got a real wierd feeling. Scrambled over like hell, really walked as fast as we could with heavy packs on, and about 100 yards past that pile of rubble.
KA-BOOM
The dynamite blast knock us to our knees, where we stayed huddled over as rocks peppered down around us. I’m talking big old fucking rocks too - up to the size of footballs. Then a big dust cloud rolled over that was seriously nasty. Whoowhee, that’ll put a kink in your colon.
Turns out that the Chinese workers were BLASTING out the road and dang near took me and my buddy out. Long story short, a week later I had my first shower in a month. :o
Great OP doggio! I once blew up one of sis’s Ken dolls with a firecracker. I had to. He was an enemy spy. Ken flew and exploded. It was a way jake spectacle! I also used to have a potato gun, but I lost it somewheres along the way in one of many moves. Alas. It was also good for shootin’ rolled bandages. Those suckers would fly! Around here we can buy sparkler type fireworks. Never fear though, cause I can drive and hour and fifteen minutes and buy more earth-shattering KA*BOOM type of fireworks. I won’t mention the state but I will give a hint… it’s the same state where a notary can notarize you husband and wife.
My weekend was kinda fun. I guess y’all noticed I didn’t post any. Saturday was spent doin’ stuff like gettin’ a haircut, runnin’ errands, having lunch with a friend, hangin’ out with said friend and ummmm… stuff I won’t mention cause this is a g rated thread. Yesterday ACBG & I went to Parrott, GA and hung out with other friends all day. I was also way tired last night and went to bed at eight o’clock. Still a pleasant weekend. Relaxin’ and stress free.
6:45 in the morning, and I’m like 15th?! You old people are up sooo early!
I love explosions! My unprofessional email address is “theygoboom13”. I was 13 when I created it, see? The chemistry department got a kick out of that when I was applying to school here.
On the subject of email addresses, it turns out that I have three, each with a different purpose.
- Professional email, with my first initial and last name.
- “fun” or spam email, the “theygoboom13” mentioned above
- The same “theygoboom13” at a different domain, which is where all of my naughty mail is delivered.
And speaking of naughty mail, AG and I went to a grown-up toy store yesterday. Funny part 1) We were both carded for the first time in there ever. Funny part number 2) the clerk looked exaclty like Vince Vaughn. Funny part number 3) AG did buy himself a toy. It’s called the “Anal Invader”. No, seriously. go google it.
If y’all who like explossions ever get the chance, come to Valencia circa March 19. It’s the Fallas; people in that area can’t celebrate anything without a traca (a string of bombs) but the ones for the Fallas are the biggest and loudest.
I know some guys who would make gunpowder with household materials, stuff a brick with it, leave it at the corner of a toolshed in some field and toss rocks at it until it went BOOM. They claim that they only did it with “real” toolsheds (as opposed to those so-called and highly illegal toolsheds with three bedrooms, a kitchen and a bathroom) but of course some of those happened to house pumps or generators. I’ve heard reports of sheds which had gasoleum inside flying away - not very far, but far enough to leave these guys wide-eyed for days. Of course, after that one they just had to try and find one that would fly farther…
I’m considering killing my mother. Or just getting a job outside the country again, which is a legal option. Her Bday was last Thursday; we were celebrating it at my house (in the ground-floor kitchen/meeting room, sorry no pics bc my 'net connexion at home is shot and bringing in the camer would be too evident) and she was bringing only one dish. One. Actually, not even the dish. She was bringin lettuce and tomato for the salad.
Instead, she brough five dishes. I’d already prepared everything downstairs; while I went to get the two cakes I’d pre-ordered (only one of which got even started), she got my brother to start opening a can that never got touched, moving the large table from my bedroom to the living room (requires disassembling the legs), etc. I had bought paper napkins and plates and plastic cups specifically to reduce work; the table downstairs doesn’t need a tablecloth. No sir, the good china and tablecloth and everything and of course she didn’t use the dishwasher even.
I think the reason I’m obsessed with optimizing work is an allergic reaction to my mother. She always chooses the hardest way to do anything. Not to mention, her word is worthless… years ago I was living with her after helping care for Dad while he died and I had to leave because every time we made a deal, I’d keep my part and she wouldn’t, so I kept giving and giving and giving and never getting anything in return.
I’m perfectly happy with being the host… but if things happen in MY house I AM THE BLOODY HOST! Not my mother! Right now I have a tablecloth and a bunch of napkins to iron that shouldn’t ever have left the cupboards, plus 3/4 of my fridge is food I don’t even like. I didn’t want to make a scene curing a celebration but we’re going to have us a Very Ugly Conversation very soon - otherwise, things will keep going downhill. Letting her choose what do I put on the walls of a room that will mostly be used by her is one thing; letting her rule my house is another. If she wants to go on being welcome she’ll have to learn that it’s MY goddamn space.
donkey it’s really not necessary for anyone to look up your new toy just to get an idea of what it looks like. We’ve all seen Top Secret.
When I was living on Lake Saratoga, my friends and I would have snowball/roman candle fights. And when I was a younger Sean, living right above the sewage plant on the Ohio River, we would make those Estes model rockets, fill up the nose cones with various explosive mixtures and shoot them into the river. Sometimes thet’d go boom, other times they’d just lie around until the bomb squad got rid of them. Good times, good times.
I haven’t seen Top Secret, and have never heard of it. Googling tells me nothing. Is it porn or a real movie?
Sean - good answer!
I’ve never actually caused anything to go boom, but something went SPLASH this morning, after I filled Smokey’s gallon water jug; one is supposed to carry the thing upsidedown (bottle spout up) to its destination and then flip it so the water can trickle into the dish. . . I didn’t, and had to mop up a very large lake that suddenly appeared in my kitchen (but at least I don’t have to mop the floor this week…)
as for fireworks I like it when there are a lot of pretty colored sunbursts or chrysanthemum bursts. There are never enough of those for me.
Last week a church about a half mile from our subdivision had a big party, culminating with fireworks, which went off at around 10:30 pm. My husband and I were in the kitchen, the kids were asleep. These massive BOOMS start going off, which we initially thought were thunder, but they kept going on and on and ON, so we finally went out front and saw the show. Of course it woke the kids up (on a school night!) and we watched for about 10 minutes.
Then the phone rings. It’s my mother, who lives down the street. She was awakened by the noise, and bless her heart, she has a vision problem and hadn’t bothered to look out the window and she was scared out of her mind! It’s totally unlike her to call me about something; she’s normally as unflappable as they come. But she thought someone was out front shooting the Herbies (our trash containers).
Two nights later, here come a bunch of church volunteers, bearing coupons and apologies for all the noise. They must have heard PLENTY from pissed-off neighbors. I wasn’t particularly happy about having my kids awakened, although the little one slept through the whole thing.
All told, the fireworks lasted about 20 minutes. Pretty good for a “little” fireworks show. My poor mom, though!
That reminds me – We had HORRIBLE thunderstorms here Friday night. Eight people in Kentucky were killed in floodwaters, including two UK students who got out of a taxi which was stopped by the water. They were swept into a storm drain and killed. Isn’t that just awful?
The BOOM part, though, was around 3 am, when there was a flash of lightning and simultaneous crack of LOUD thunder, which meant it was pretty much right over our head. Talk about loud. It was SO loud, it set off our smoke detector! Which was super loud. I’m not sure how it happened; husband says maybe ionized air? But anyway it scared the everlivin’ crap out of me.
It’s been a loud coupla weeks here.