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Old 10-16-2006, 12:11 PM
crazyjoe crazyjoe is offline
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Funny mathematical joke about "giving 110%"

I got this from my dad, who probably passed it on from someone else, but it's funny, and apt.

This equation should be taught in all math [and business] classes!

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L- S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top!
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Old 10-16-2006, 12:16 PM
Derleth Derleth is offline
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That's a good one.
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  #3  
Old 10-16-2006, 12:31 PM
AskNott AskNott is offline
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My Christian sister-in-law sent me nearly the same thing in email. However, the punch line was LOVE OF GOD = 101%.

I wonder how many versions are floating around in the webby cosmos.
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Old 10-16-2006, 01:26 PM
tdn tdn is offline
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Ah, but BILL GATES III = 666%.
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Old 10-16-2006, 01:30 PM
Giles Giles is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tdn
Ah, but BILL GATES III = 666%.
In which version of Excel?

But what I like is that ALL = 1+12+12 =25%. So, if you're giving ALL, you're giving just 25%.
  #6  
Old 10-16-2006, 01:50 PM
Onomatopoeia Onomatopoeia is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Giles
But what I like is that ALL = 1+12+12 =25%. So, if you're giving ALL, you're giving just 25%.
yeah, but if you're giving 'your all' you're giving 104%, so you're actually giving more than you thought had in you.
  #7  
Old 10-16-2006, 02:10 PM
Telemark Telemark is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Giles
In which version of Excel?

But what I like is that ALL = 1+12+12 =25%. So, if you're giving ALL, you're giving just 25%.
But you don't give "ALL", you give "YOUR ALL" - 25+15+21+18+1+12+12 = 104%
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Old 10-16-2006, 02:41 PM
Blaster Master Blaster Master is offline
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This is an old e-mail I'd seen floating around before... I swear I remember it had more to it...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Telemark
But you don't give "ALL", you give "YOUR ALL" - 25+15+21+18+1+12+12 = 104%
I don't know about you all, but I don't give "YOUR ALL", I give "MY ALL". Unfortunately, that's only: 13 + 24 + 1 + 12 + 12 = 62%. I guess YOUR ALL is better than MY ALL. Hmm... now I'm confused.
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Old 10-16-2006, 03:05 PM
TJdude825 TJdude825 is offline
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There's another one that starts from basic equations:

knowledge = power (schoolhouse rock)
power = work/time (physics)
time = money (just generally known to be true)

You can work out the algebra, but basically, those who get paid the most are the ones who know a lot of stuff, but do almost no work, or something like that.
  #10  
Old 10-16-2006, 03:08 PM
The Controvert The Controvert is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blaster Master
Hmm... now I'm confused.
You think your confused? Turns out HEAD only gives 18%.
  #11  
Old 10-16-2006, 03:39 PM
Mindfield Mindfield is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Controvert
You think your confused? Turns out HEAD only gives 18%.
Yes, but BLOW JOB gives you 79%. If you really want to earn "brownie" points though, you have to give a TOSSED SALAD. 119% baby.
  #12  
Old 10-16-2006, 04:45 PM
js_africanus js_africanus is offline
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Actually, it's a lesson about literacy: sesquipedalian gives 152%. It pays to use long words.

Also, I think it's funny that GIVING YOUR ALL will score lower than GIVING YOUR ASS.
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  #13  
Old 10-16-2006, 05:51 PM
Hal Briston Hal Briston is offline
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Well, heck with it then...if I put NOTHING in at work, I'm still giving 87%.
  #14  
Old 10-16-2006, 08:18 PM
Little Nemo Little Nemo is offline
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I can work HALF A DAY and I'm giving them 58%. I slow down after lunch.
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Old 10-16-2006, 08:50 PM
Shagnasty Shagnasty is offline
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The Space Shuttle spools its engines up to 104% during launch. If it blows up, at least we know it was trying really, really hard. Maybe that is even why it blew up. You can get injured through overexertion. I wonder if NASA ever thought about that?
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Old 10-16-2006, 11:25 PM
Snarky_Kong Snarky_Kong is offline
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So if I'm taking a nap and catching some ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz, I'm probably doing alright.
  #17  
Old 10-18-2006, 01:25 PM
Little Nemo Little Nemo is offline
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Quote:
The Space Shuttle spools its engines up to 104% during launch. If it blows up, at least we know it was trying really, really hard. Maybe that is even why it blew up. You can get injured through overexertion. I wonder if NASA ever thought about that?
How exactly do they do that? Figure out the maximum thrust that the engines can produce and then make them to produce four percent more? Turn it up to eleven?

Presumably what NASA does is test its shuttle by running it at 104% of the power they expect to use during a mission. But for all we know, the engines are capable of 120% of normal mission power and the test is no strain.
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