I got this from my dad, who probably passed it on from someone else, but it’s funny, and apt.
This equation should be taught in all math [and business] classes!
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L- S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top!
This is an old e-mail I’d seen floating around before… I swear I remember it had more to it…
I don’t know about you all, but I don’t give “YOUR ALL”, I give “MY ALL”. Unfortunately, that’s only: 13 + 24 + 1 + 12 + 12 = 62%. I guess YOUR ALL is better than MY ALL. Hmm… now I’m confused.
There’s another one that starts from basic equations:
knowledge = power (schoolhouse rock)
power = work/time (physics)
time = money (just generally known to be true)
You can work out the algebra, but basically, those who get paid the most are the ones who know a lot of stuff, but do almost no work, or something like that.
The Space Shuttle spools its engines up to 104% during launch. If it blows up, at least we know it was trying really, really hard. Maybe that is even why it blew up. You can get injured through overexertion. I wonder if NASA ever thought about that?
How exactly do they do that? Figure out the maximum thrust that the engines can produce and then make them to produce four percent more? Turn it up to eleven?
Presumably what NASA does is test its shuttle by running it at 104% of the power they expect to use during a mission. But for all we know, the engines are capable of 120% of normal mission power and the test is no strain.