Ok, suppose you are a healthy adult and had to literally give up a pound of flesh. What stays and what goes?
Let’s define flesh as tissue with the following caveats:
Hair, bone, teeth, and fluids such as blood, spit, etc. don’t count. No toenails, too.
Adipose tissue (fat tissue) is too easy… so it’s out.
You’re healthy, so no tumors or gangrenous tissue.
Here’s my thoughts: it breaks down into three categories.
When I had my colon removed, I weighed six pounds less after the surgery. Surgical resectioning of the bowel is a relatively common procedure, and I’ll bet that the removal of one pound of colon would be barely noticeable to the patient.
Ideally it would be a pound of undigested cow flesh sitting in my belly. If I had the benefit of a good surgeon, antibiotics etc. I’d opt for having numerous little strips of skin removed, so that it would leave a cool scarring pattern all over my body. Also if i got to keep the object, I might try to have a kidney properly removed so that I could sell or donate it.
And where are you going to put your bile? In your desk draw?
No, but seriously. I was under the impression that by removing the organ that stored bile would significantly make it more difficult to digest any fat injested, not to mention neutralizing stomach acids.
My appendix is just sitting there, doing nothing. Since I don’t plan to employ my uterus, we can add that to the pile. I’m not a drinker, so I suppose I could sacrifice some liver or a kidney, but as a smoker, I probably should hang onto both lungs. Just in case, you know. . . .
You could, but I don’t think you would be able to walk upright anymore. If you had a surgeon do it selectively by muscle, and not just hack out a steak, you might be able to work it so you could still walk hunched over. But the glutes are what yank your pelvis and spine upright on top of your femurs (leg bones).
I’d go for gastric bypass with the loss of some small intestine. Might as well snip out that bit of stomach. Everyone wins.
Most of us could lose a pound of liver without ill effect. It’ll just grow back.
Assuming I can immediately get some neato bionic replacement, I’m more than willing to trade in both knees (all bone and connective tissue). That’s got to be close to a pound, but if I must continue: I’m not using my tonsils or appendix, and honestly think I’d be happier sans uterus.
Doesn’t liver regenerate? I think that would be the best option. And it’s surprisingly dense, so a little section would probably go a long way towards satisfying the 16 ounces. But if I’m a few ounces short, I’ll throw in my appendix and however many lymph nodes are needed to make up the balance.
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