There's a sinister plot to kidnap the President....

Cafe Society
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…and the only man who can save him is a fugitive stunt car driver!

So reads the plot description for the craptastic B-movie Executive Target, starring nobody you’ve ever heard of, playing on one of the On-Demand movie channels.

An excellent plot to be sure, but upon reading it I had an amazing realization. They could have immediately made this movie ten times better with the addition of only three words:

There’s a sinister plot to kidnap the President, and the only man who can save him is a fugitive stunt car driver from the future!

I oughta be in pictures.

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with a deadly secret.

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…whose relationship is on the brink…

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…with a sexy foreign assassin…

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His trunk is full of snakes!

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Don’t forget his straight arrow partner, who always does things “by the book.”

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In a world where there’s a sinister plot to kidnap the President…

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You know there has to be at least one hooker with a heart of gold.

From the future.

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Payback…this time it’s FOR REAL! Ooops. Sorry. Those Geico commercials tend to get stuck in my head.

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And I was a few seconds away from posting the exact same thing.

Oh well, I’ll just cut to the fugitive stunt car driver regaining his ability to love and discovering the true meaning of Christmas.

PS: friedo, thanks for bringing this movie up. I’ve looked it up and have got to see it.

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Is he “on the edge?” Because if he’s not “on the edge,” I don’t want to see it.

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Let us not forget that it was INSPIRED by a true story!

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When he has nothing left to live for, vengance is his only company.

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He thought he had nothing left to live for… until a young orphan with terminal cancer taught him how to smile again.

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…one man must stand up!

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Am I the only person who read the title and thought “Are you a bad enough dude to rescue President Ronnie”?

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And in so doing, he will find … himself.

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…living next door to the wacky-est family of neighbors in Primetime TV! This Fall, on Fox!

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Here’s a shout out to the friendly folks at NSA and/or the Secret Service who I’m sure will be checking out this thread due to the title tripping some alarm in CARNIVORE or whatever new toys y’all have now. If you missed out on that phone call I made last night, I ordered a large pizza with pepperoni, hamburger, and extra cheese.

PS: Please tell your boss he’s a moron.

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I was thinking the same thing.
As for bizarre movies, I’d love to see some of the films that Homer Simpson has contemplated on making on various episodes of The Simpsons. My personal favorite: A robot driving instructor has to travel back in time for some reason. The selling point? His best friend is a talking pie.