The bitter, cynical, antisocial obligatory post party

[Smeghead]

Yeah, so I hit 1000. So what? No one cares. Sure, come on in. Pretend to have a good time. I know you're not really. Want a beer? Well, get it yourself! The keg's over there. It probably sucks, though. Dancing women? Sure, whatever. Mud wrestling? If you must. Over in the far corner. I know you're all just pretending to enjoy yourselves to taunt me, but could you at least keep in down? I'm trying to watch Cleopatra 2525 over here. Oh, and just for dpr, I stuck some Red Dwarf videos in the VCR in the back.

You can't fool me. You seem to be having a good time now, but sooner or later, you'll abandon me like all the rest.
*Sob*

[Helen's Eidolon]

First off, congrats! *hugs*

2nd, as a newbie (as per my post count) I've heard lots of different opinions on whether people marking their significant post numbers is good or bad. I think. What's the consensus?

And sorry to start the minor hijack. I'm proud of you! *sniffles* My baby's all grown up. *sobs*

(don't mind me I'm in an odd mood.)

[Scylla]

Smeghead? Nyahhh. Never heard of him. I just came because they said there was gonna be beer.

Cheap bastard probably got Genessee creme ale for chrissakes.

Oh Great. The keg's all shook up! It's all foam!

Damn!

Anyway congratulations. Great party. Nice to meet ya. Love to stay, but I got a big day tomorrow....

[Tabithina]

Shy newbie dropping by to hang out in a corner of the room and look invisible. And to boost my post count.

Congrats.

[Zenster]

Happy 1K smeghead! For the number of times that you have dropped by my threads to merely mention, "It's been done before.", without posting a thread link, I suppose I should say that you live up to your name.

However, your own negative attitude demonstrated in your OP is more convincing. Cheer up and have some Champagne.

::Zenster pops cork and forcibly pours the bottle down smeghead's throat::

[BlackKnight]

*gets beer, takes sip*
Ugh! What the - this is urine recyc!

[Mr. Cynical]

Cynical? Count me in!

Where's my goldurn Fat Tire Ale?

[AETBOND417]

::begins to sing::

In the year 25-25/
There are women with the will to survive/


Sorry. Sundays are slow days for me.

Check the sig, baby!

[hypergirl]

Happy 1000. It's not like I want to be here, you know. Grrrr...

[dpr]

What's all this negativity? Intolerable!

It's a party damnit!!!

*packs the CD stacker, puts in on random and chuckles as BNL's It's All Been Done Before comes on first*

Right, music taken care of.... now some things to do...

*produces twister mat and a carton of baby oil, a Host Your Own Murder kit, Balderdash and a black light*

And any second now... ah there we are: my mate (a VP at a brewery) has donated some quality refreshments.

There. Isn't that better? Now let's celebrate as if no one's grumbling.

*asks Hypergirl to dance. Encourgaes Tabithina to join us*

[Scotticher]

Well, really, Smeghead-

I do believe that your's is the only sig line that I have ever praised in public. How can you possibly say no one appreciates you?

Happy 1000-I brought some vanilla to dump in the baby oil, one of my extra special chocolate mousse pies with raspberry sauce, and permission to hit anyone you want in the face with it.

If that LAST thing doesn't make you happy, then I just plain give up!

Now, since this is a party, I at least intend to enjoy myself.

(Joins the line of women waiting to dance with my darling dpr)

[Wump]

why is this obligatory? i mean really, if u wanted a bunch of people to come in and...

:smacked by everyone at the party:

"Can't u read? it says ANTISOCIAL damn it!!!"

sorry... congrats anyways
:SMACK:

[DigitalMuse]

(enters. waves to others, joins the other newbies, to scared to talk to the others, watching hypergirl and dpr dancing)

[dpr]

Scotti!!

Pardon me hyper (though you seem a bit disinterested anyway).

*grabs Scotti and twirls and dips her*

MMMMM.. you smell of vanilla. It really IS the finest of the flavours y'know...

[Smeghead]

Sure, I may be negative, but I just had my car towed for the third time in two weeks, so do try to forgive me.

LaurAng - if you want my opinion, which I'm sure you don't, I usually don't read post party threads, let alone post in them, but I don't mind them either. This is my first, and probably my last, but 1000 only comes around once.

Zenster - I remember doing that once, maybe twice. How about some links? But come on - "We're not 'ere to bicker and argue about who killed who. This is supposed to be an 'appy occasion!"

AETBOND - congrats. You're my first groupie. Now I have that damned song running through my head....

Scottchier - OK, you appreciate me. Waa-hoo!

dpr - All right. Now we're talking party! I swear you're following me around trying to cheer me up.

And to all you newbies - welcome! Now get to work. Anyone under 200 posts has to serve drinks and snacks.

Hmmmm. I think I'm overusing that smiley.

[Scotticher]

Ah, dpr my love-

You dance divinely! Who else could twirl and dip me so beautifully to
the theme song from "Red Dwarf?"

Perhaps we will get lucky, and Smeghead will choose to
throw my luscious chocolate mousse and raspberry concoction
at US-just think, we'd have to figure out some way
to get that stuff off.........

[Spider Woman]

Tired spider comes to post party (LOVES post parties) to congratulate Smeghead, winds up falling asleep in the corner with all eight legs sticking up. People begin to hang coats and jackets on her legs.


---\\\\////
------zzzzzzzzzzzzz

[dreams about being the life of the party]

[dpr]

I'm sure between the two of us we'd come up with a way or two Scotti.


Smeg: Cheering people up ios a hobby of mine, especially when they're friends. At least I didn't put on the skin-tight lycra superhero suit this time...

So what did you do to get your car towed (again)?

[Smeghead]

Transmission's screwed. They thought they had it fixed, but they didn't. Of course.

[Scotticher]

(((((((Smeghead))))))

(((((((Spidey))))))))

[The Mermaid]

Hey happy 1k, smeg baby.

I brought a bottle of tequila, and a Jenga game and my 3cd collection of Pure funk, Pure disco and Pure dance.

Hey who wants to help me with a body shot? OK Spidey pass me a lime, no no, can't use your hands. dpr bring that salt shaker with you.

Hey is that Word Up? Let's dance.

*grabs dpr and drags him to the dance floor*

Who wants the worm? Woooo-Hooo

Hey Smeg, great party.

[dpr]

Hey Scotti, why are you hugging a sleeping woman? Is there something we should be telling Anthracite and andygirl?

*yelps as he gets dragged off unexpectedly*

Ahhh... someone who truly knows how to do body shots. No hands at all. It's more of a lugh though if you get a third party to place the salt wherever they want...

*dances like no-one's watching*

[Scotticher]

Spidey had a bad day, she's tired, and she looks sad.

Smeghead had a bad (what, week? month?) and he's grumpy.

Rx for both? A hug.

I am an equal opportunity hugger. Both arachnids and (gee, what species IS Smeghead? Inquiring minds want to know)need not apply, as I am usually happy to volunteer.

Just for good measure, hon-

((((((((((((((((((((dpr))))))))))))))))))

(Scotti cuts in on dpr and mojo57, whispering in dpr's ear that she was HOPING he'd wear his skin-tight lycra superhero outfit to the party!)

Say, doesn't this joint have a hot tub?

[Eo Echo]

Smeghead-congrats on 1000. May all those here who have not yeat reached that plateau do so before dying horribly.

All right, then. I'm tending bar and all drinks are courtesy of the Birdman. So what's it going to be, folks? (I brought Guinness, Bass, & Harp, so Black & Tans as well as Half & Halves are on draught).

[dpr]

*waves from the dance floor trying to signal JBirdman12 for a Kahlua*

[Eo Echo]

Coming up. Hell, have a double. You're not driving, right?

[dpr]

Well... I didn't come in car...

[dpr]

*sigh* A car....

Maybe I've already had too much...



NAAAAAAAHHH

[Eo Echo]

Now that's the spirit! Down the hatch.

[dpr]

Friends, dancing, oh-so-lovely women (even if some of the newbies aren't dancing), drinks....

Is this heaven?

[Geek Mecha]

I can't stay out of a thread with BNL references in it.

Happy 1000, Smeghead!

[purrplebear]

Happy 1000th, Smeggy! <comes up to him in her purple party dress, grabs him, and dips him down for a deep kiss>

Hi, pleased to meetcha!


Seeing that dpr is temporarily alone, purplebear rushes up, and grabs him back onto the dance floor for a nice slow song. Now, buddy, pal, tell me what you've been up to, and why you never came back to my roomie thread. No, that's ok, you can just whisper in my ear while we're dancing.

Lost in the moment, purplebear fails to realize that the music has stopped, and keeps on dancing <if you can call it that> slowly with dpr.....



I'll take a rum and coke when you have a minute, JB.

[MysterEcks]

It's like this, Smeghead--you get us drunk, we like you. I mean, hell, you can't expect us to like you for nothing, now can you?

Happy...uh, whatever we're celebrating here. Now where's the beer and/or the tequila?

[Spider Woman]

------&
-----
---////\\\\

Spider Woman wakes up, puts on party hat, thinks "Gee, how sweet. Those people covered me with coats so I wouldn't be cold. And a nice lady hugged me. But why is everybody sleeping? They must have forgotten their alarm clocks. I'll just blow on these noise makers so they won't be late for work."

Bbbblllaaaaaaaattttttttt!

Skcrreeekkkkk!

Ratchety-ratchety-ratchedy.

[Milossarian]

:: In keeping with the theme of the thread, Milo stands in the corner, looking like he's above it all and doesn't want to be here. I reality, however, these parties are the only ones on his social calendar.::

[UncleBeer]

UncleBeer looks in, scowls, and stalks off muttering to himself about all the goddamn smiling people.

[Jonathan Chance]

Hey, what's this vertigo waiver I had to sign on the way in?


*WHOA* is that a long way down or what?

Tell you what Smeghead...I'll turn on the TV and stomp on the floor just for fun.

[struuter]

*walks in, grabs smeg's face and plants a big wet one on him* There. That wasn't bitter, cynical, antisocial or obligatory. Sorry. I can try again...

Happy 1000!

[BlackKnight]

*wakes up with large hang-over*

Dear lord what did I drink last night?
Huh?
Why's there a comotose spider in the corner covered in coats?
I must still be drunk.

*curls up with the comotose spider and goes back to sleep*

[filthy]

(filthy skulks in through the back door, snaggs a pitcher and a double Beam, and goes looking for the Red Dward vidios).

Well, I couldn't figure out how work your VCR, but it's a good party, anyway.

Congrats on the grand!

[Helen's Eidolon]

And to all you newbies - welcome! Now get to work. Anyone under 200 posts has to serve drinks and snacks.

*dons her french maid outfit and carries a tray full of yummy snacks and mixed drinks*

At your service!

[casdave]

Hi there,

This is the right place for the Philately society right ?

Hey I got some really neat posphor strip variations you have to see.

[Duke]

Cheer up, Smeghead, I brought the chicken vindaloo. And, as you can see on the fantastic cable TV we have over here in the corner, BBC is currently showing Red Dwarf repeats.

(rumours are that another series is in the works, but with Craig Charles doing so many other TV things, I'm not sure....)

[dpr]

*a very tired dpr dances on before realising that the regular faces are asleep... but some of the newbies are awake.*

G'day LaurAnge,

Nice french maid outfit. How YOU doin'?

[Smeghead]

*Smeghead wakes up with a traffic cone and policewomen's hat*

What the hell was that? Here I was, having a nice little self-indulgent pity party, and the whole damn neighborhood comes waltzing in.

Hmmm. Now who's that collapsed over there in the French maid's uniform?

*Attempts to rise, gives up, and collapses, muttering about lager and vindaloo.*

[Eo Echo]

Oops. Sorry I'm getting a little behind here. I've been trying to throw fifth bottles up in the air and catch them by the spout like Tom Criuise in Cocktail (whom I resemble is you squint hard).

Let's see here. One rum and coke for purplebear. Tequila and beer for MysterEcks. Come here LaurAnge and let me refill that drinks tray, and filthy, let me top that pitcher off for you. And lets not forget a frothy Black and tan for myself.

So who else needs a drink?

[TroubleAgain]

Congrats on 1K. I'm 2/3 of the way there, myself. Oh, well, I won't be throwing a post count party for myself. Just don't see that my quality holds up to my quantity.