Merry Christmas, Bro! You've been a real pleasure.

The BBQ Pit
1

Let’s see…

…you drove my car without permission, ran into something, smoked in it, and left the window down so that rain got in and damaged the leather seats.

…you smoked in the house after being told not to.

…you embarrassed me by making an ass of yourself at my local bar and getting thrown out. And not paying your tab.

…you drank all my beer without replacing it.

…you haven’t lifted a finger to clean your dirty dishes, the bathroom, your food garbage in the living room, your newspapers, wrapping paper chaff, etc.

…you left the back door open and passed out; thank God I heard the blaring TV left on and found my cats in the back yard rather than gone forever.

…I let you use my laptop to use the Internet. You rewarded me by spilling something on it; and you clearly were trying to do something cute and clever there, as my logfile said there were late night attempts at accessing admin priviledges. At least I thought of that.

…you invited us out to dinner, your treat. I paid.

…you ordered three pay movies On Demand.

…you wrote “Dooku is a loser” on all my windows in the frost.

What are you, fucking TEN? Oh, that’s right - you’re 40. Any other time of year, and just one of your antics would get your fucking ass kicked.

So sad to see you off to the airport. Did you offer to pay for anything? Apologize? Nope, just an “I’m sooo hungover. I’ll call you if I miss my plane.”

Good luck, next brother in the rotation. Ho, ho, ho.

2

And you put up with this why?

3

A bit of an alcohol problem, yes?

4

I was going to say…

5

You know, I don’t think you really think your brother is a pleasure at all.

6

Yeah, you had me at “you drove my car without permission.” I guess he knows where the bodies are buried?

7

is this the same idiot who posted a bunch of lame threads here under your name? he’s over twelve???

8

He ain’t heavy, 'tis the season, and all that. I hadn’t seen him in a while, I thought maybe he had gotten better. [Making lemons] At least I was able to give my other brothers a heads-up. [/Making lemons]

Um, what?

9

there were about 5 or 6 lame ass threads here in the PIt this am ( I think),they were deleted, I"m sure.

10

So that wasn’t Dooku here in the pit earlier, then?

11

And hopefully you’ve learned a lesson that almost no one seems to - that family does not deserve a pass just because of genetics. Tell him off and give him the chance to rise to the occasion and be a man and make it right with you. If he can’t then let him cool his heels for a few years until he gets a conscience.

Seriously, this stuff isn’t hard. My mom and sister pushed me and I cut them off for more than a year until they made it right. Genetics is not a pass for being a bitch, asshole, or giant flaming timbertool, and never should be.

12

Double-check that he didn’t change your registered email. Let me know, and I’ll fill you in.

13

It’s up to date. ::fuming::

Una Persson, you’re exactly right of course. I’m the youngest, so it’s difficult for me to scold one of my older brothers. Rest assured he’ll get his when he visits my other brothers, as he is the 2nd youngest and they are all older than him. I doubt very seriously my wife will green light another visit, anyway, but I certainly regret not being harder on him.

14

I wish you the best in dealing with him. Relying on the wife is a good tactic - it’s like that George Thorogood song goes: “I don’t know man, she kinda funny…”

15

On the way.

16

And I can now add:

…you spammed the SDMB with a bunch of juvenille crap b/c I stayed cookied.

Stupid fucking immature asshole.

Sorry you all had to deal with that.

17

I repeat:

18

it wasn’t too bad. I just thought you were screwing around with us by writing deliberately obtuse nonsense, but the sharper-witted Dopers realized that you were incapable of writng quite so ineptlly. (Most of his posts basically called us lame Internet geeks and the like.)

19

That’s sad at 20. At 40 it’s pathetic beyond words.

Does he dislike you for some reason? Or … is that just how he is? :dubious:

20

I was going to say the same. exact. thing. Right down to the estimated age.

We knew what was happening when he OPed a thread insulting Dopers and saying they were “just like my brother.” I honestly pictured a middle-schooler. For a 40 y/o to do that…that’s scary.