I mean how do you have sex with your dog in the room or on the bed or whatever?
Honestly, it has never come up. It’s been a while since I got any action at home - so long that I’m not sure how you handle the dog when the time comes.
Thing is, he sleeps on my bed. So, when it’s bed time, he wants to come to bed. Now, if you’re just sleeping I’m assuming that’s no problem, but I don’t want a cold dog nose in an innappropriate place at an inopportune time, if you know what I mean.
However, if I put him on the floor he might cry.
GRRRR - OK, I guess what I’m asking is - Doper guys - if you’re crushing on a girl and she has a dog, and push comes to shove, how should she handle the dog? Should she just say “My dog may cry - please try to ignore it?” should she lock the dog in another room even though he WILL cry? Should she let the dog sit on the side of the bed?
It’s amazing to me that at 34 this situation has never come up for me, but there you go.
Not that I’m going to be having sex, mind you. But if I was…
I’ve been there. We just had sex with the dogs in the bed, or rather rhile the dogs were in the bed. It was kind of yucky, I guess, but on the other hand, you know, I was having sex. I didn’t really analyze it too much. Mostly we just went to my place.
Ok, there are some things that I really don’t think I want my dog to see. He’s just a child.
Ahem - so, I guess what I’m really wondering is, is having a goofy dog going to be a deal breaker? I mean - I would think access to boobies would make everything ok, until I read the “shave your pooter” thread and found out that not having the right style of pube can be a deal breaker for some guys.
I have known three different dogs in three different circumstances such as you describe.
Not known in the biblical sense, mind you. Known in the same sense as you are going to have sex with your dog…wait, this is turning out poorly. Let’s try again:
The dog will curl up and sleep through it, being totally bored with the humans who are thrashing about. Unless there’s something to eat involved. Don’t bring a potted meat sandwich to bed with you, or piece of fried chicken and all should go well.
If your guy has a problem with the dog, or access to boobies isn’t enough for him, keep the dog and find another guy.
A cat, however, is quite another matter. Cats like to sniff at the source of strange and enticing new smells. By all means, lock the cat up or put it outside. Kitty will degrade your experience by quite a bit, and even boobie access might not be enough to entice you gentleman caller into staying if a feline companion is to share your bed.
There’s a line for “Lucky Dog” in here somewhere, but it evades me at the moment.
Both of my cats (the small hyper female and the large male meatloaf) sat on the floor and tried to figure out what was going on. They did not start investigating, howling or swatting playfully at any dangly bits.
Once she and I were blissfully zonked out they were happy to hop onto the blankets, cuddle up and fall asleep.
I have heard stories of getting surprised by a cold wet doggy nose poking you in the butt at an inopportune moment but if that happened to me in the throes of passion I’d probably say something bad and shove the dog away and keep doing my thang.
That reminds me of the conversation in 40 Year Old Virgin.
paraphrased because I forgot the exact dialogue and am lazy:
-I was doing this chick and all of a sudden her dog started licking my asshole.
-Did you finish? You’re gross I know you finished.
-I finished.
And I stole the dog.
The pet issue has never came up. The ex bought a dog after I dumped him. At least he replaced me with a cute dog.
I’d say the dogs should be somewhere else and let back in the room afterwards if that is where they sleep.
The only time I dated a girl with dogs they were kept locked out of the room, because there were 3 of them, and they were small and jumpy and *needed * to be on the bed. That would have been too large of an audience for either of us.
Dearest OP, I don’t think you’re the least bit strange for asking this. Especially considering I knew a friend of mine (another girl) who had to get rid of a FISH because she couldn’t stand the thought of being seen naked by it.
I’ve had some curious and less than obedient dogs in my day, but for the most part, a good glare kept them away. Perhaps in your situation, a baby gate is in order? That way your dog can see you but not join in the festivities.
My cat is another story. Although all she does is metloaf from a high place, her stare of deliberate indifference crossed with impatience is a sight to behold:“Ho hum, the humans are mating again. When are they going to stop so I can reclaim my bed?” Because, as I’m sure everyone with a cat understands, all beds belong to the cat, and we humans only borrow them from time to time. Fortunately, anyone who spends any time with me understands this fact of life.
I wait in wonder for the day I forget I have the dog (shared custody with the grandparents so to speak) and the boyfriend comes down to see me. Alvin is a full grown Rottweiler who has a bit of a jealousy complex but I think it only applied when Mum and Dad were sitting on the couch watching TV. And he always has to be in the room with you, unless it’s hot, in which case, he’ll be on the bathroom tiles thankyouverymuch.
As a non-pet-owning male person I’ve gotta say that I’d expect our first few events on your bed to be completely sans dog. I don’t care where you put him/her, but in the room with us is not an option.
Maybe after we’ve gotten past the getting used to each other phase, and I’ve gotten past the getting used to your critter phase, the dog can be in the room. But it’ll still probably be a little unpleasantly surprised at what happens next if/when it decides to join in the festivities.
I’m not anti-pet. I’m just a strongly humans-first kinda guy & the dog ain’t helping what we’re doing.
Same with the cats. However, my boy cat, although I’ve been living with and married to ElzaHub for three years now, is still convinced that he’s hurting me - so the second the bedroom door gets opened, my cat runs in, swats the hell out of my husband’s ankles, hisses and howls, and then runs downstairs to wait for a treat.
No really, absolutely no dogs/cats/ferrets/parakeets in the room during sex. Maybe later on but, at first, no pets. The baby gate idea sounds just perfect.
My cats are terrified of strangers, unless said stranger is on the bed with me, in which case they must be on the bed, too. They are also absolutely obsessed with female crotch. They get kicked out of the room.
Our cats just get booted off the bed for the duration. I’ve felt them jump back up, but otherwise they just stay clear of the thrashing humans and wait for the show to be over. Although once Pixel did jump up on my ass for a ride in the middle of things. I kept going, but my wife was laughing too hard to really continue. I tossed Pix onto the other side of the bed and resumed.
I don’t do well with an audience. The big dog, being curious, wants to stand at the side of the bed and watch, wagging her tail in what I assume is the dog equivalent of applause. She goes outside whenever things get romantic around our house. The little dog, on the other hand, is uncomfortable with the situation and excuses herself to the other room. Actually, I think she just doesn’t like the bed moving, doesn’t want to lie on the floor, so she retires to the living room where she can nap on the sofa.
When my wife and I were first married, we owned a huge dog – St. Bernard/German shepherd mix – named Hercules who, unbeknownst to us, was terrified of lightning and thunder. One summer evening right after we got Hercules, a thunderstorm blew up over our town. We were already nearly naked from just trying to stay cool in the sweltering heat, and the coming storm, along with the cool breeze suddenly wafting through the house (plus the fact that we were still newlyweds) inspired us to romance. The experience was heightened by the flashing of the lightning and the booming of the thunder – until Herculese, startled by the storm, came galloping into the bedroom and tried to find shelter under the bed. He got under the bed, all right, but nothing breaks the mood quite like a bed leaping about under you. We literally had to take the bed apart to get him out.
And dogs don’t? My dog doesn’t just like to sniff but roll around in new, enticing smells. The biggest thrill of his day is to stick his head in my just-kicked-off shoes and thrash around. I don’t think either of us smells quite like that but he gets the boot when things start getting hot and heavy, nonetheless. I am pretty sure the only thing he resents is getting kicked off his throne.
