I’m sure I recall reading somewhere that Starving Artist once told a group of people, “Once I leave my mom’s basement, I’m going to break into all your houses and steal every last thing you own”.
Since reading this, of course, you can imagine I feel the need to vilify him at every opportunity. My God, that Starving Artist is such a shithead. So, fellow dopers, please convince me that Starving Artist will do no such thing.
Now, I should add, I am a humble sort of fellow. I am quite open to having my errors corrected, and indeed I often visit The Straight Dope to have my “ignorance fought”. I assure you, I opened this thread in the honest hope of either showing the world what a ghastly sort of fellow Starving Artist is, or letting the bright light of the collective Dope Intellect shine upon my brain and correct my misapprehensions on this issue. So if any of you can definitely prove that, prior to this posting, Starving Artist emphatically denied that he was going to break into all of our houses and steal everything we owned, I am quite willing to have my ignorance fought in this manner.
On further reflection, I realise some might say, “But Nancarrow, such ambitions as you ascribe are totally impossible! Starving Artist might conceivably attempt to break into one of our homes, but given the institutions of law and order that envelop and protect us all, SA simply wouldn’t have the means to realise his ambitions.” I admit this is true, and perhaps I phrased the title of this thread badly. Allow me to clarify. Mods, would you be so kind as to change the title of this thread to “Tell me Starving Artist isn’t a would-be burglar”? Thanks so much. You see, by ‘burglar’, I was speaking of his own predilections and the lengths to which he would go to remove property from an unwilling populace, not that he could manage to become a burglar in point of fact.
I know you’ll all enjoy correcting my errors in this thread. After all, what’s the point of ‘fighting ignorance’ if the ignorantee (: pukey smiley: ) is supposed to do his own fighting?
You may also be thinking, “Come on Nancarrow, tell us another! You can’t actually find any evidence that Starving Artist ever made such a statement can you?” Well, truly I cannot. But you see, I seem to recall he made it some fifteen or sixteen years ago, back in the days when the internet was in its infancy. Regrettably, it was all swept under the carpet and scant evidence exists of it nowadays.
Consider also this Q and A, that could have appeared on any website on the Internet over the last… er, existence of the Internet.
Now such a Q&A would certainly seem to undermine my worries about Starving Artist. But I ask you, what precipitated the need for both question and answer, had concerns about this not arisen before? Hmm?
Finally, please note that, as I sincerely wish either to vilify Starving Artist or humbly to seek information regarding my error in this matter, I will probably not be responding to any replies to this thread. Unless of course, I do. In that case, please accept my apologies, and also this notice that, because all such replies have merely descended to name-calling, I really will subsequently refrain from posting.
Unless I’m too fucking drunk.
