Ask the guy who lives around the corner and just likes to say things....

because he’s so smart.
Yeah, you know me.

You’re waiting in line at the post office and I start talking to you about something that doesn’t really interest you at all. I don’t respond to any real question of yours; I just start talking to you. But you can’t get a question in edgewise.

You see, I know everything about everything; your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to get a question in edgewise, and make me admit I don’t know about something.

Everything must be in quotation marks, because it’s just a stupid conversation that you have to put up with at the post office while you endlessly wait.

So, I start: “You know, Morning Glories are going to ruin gardens within ten years I predict. Do you think it will be sooner or later?”

“Morning glories have been around forever. They haven’t taken over yet. Say, is it supposed to rain today?”

This is more of a game than a “Ask The…”, so I’m moving this thread from IMHO to MPSIMS.

It’s been raining forever. But you know, don’t let that bother you. More people die of bee stings than rattlesnake bites.

“A rattlesnake once bit my sister.”

Did it become ill?

“You know, if you tie a string of rattlesnake rattles around your ankle you won’t die from a rattlesnake bite. Or maybe it wards off cramps while swimming, I can’t remember. Or maybe both, I know I’ve never heard of a rattlesnake getting a cramp and drowning. Do you think if rattlesnakes had hands they might accidentally poison themselves chewing on their nails?”

“I really don’t understand your Earthling culture. I am seeking assistance locating and repairing my interplanetary transportation device. I must mail this letter to your President to request departure clearance.”

Sgt Schwartz

“Whiskey was used in the past to treat snakebite, and snake venom used to treat alcoholism.”

" moose once bit my sister…"

“Really? My sister once bit a moose.”

I’ve heard the Poconos are lovely this time of year.

“Post random stuff!” threads belong, you know, not here.

Hey, we don’t mind a few game threads, but we do want them to have a wee bit more substance than this one.