This thread was prompted by the Sheryl Crow comments else-thread.
Take as read I am/is the booger eater.
Your parents taught you to wipe your bottom in some manner.
In casual conversation with other people in my life, it turns out all parents do not read from the same hymn sheet.
Personally, I am a left thigh roller.
After business is done, I roll to the left and wipe with the right hand.
Double rolling the sheet, the wiping in one motion back to front.
Discard sheets to bowl.
Repeat until only a smidge of brown is seen on the paper.
My housemate does something ‘odd’ in my mind.
He adopts the ‘monk position’, my term mind.
After movement he raises to a squat and then takes bundles of tissue paper.
He wipes with the scrunch in a rotating motion.
Repeat for several scrunches and he’s good to go.
I see no benefit in smearing turd around your buttock cheeks on the off chance you catch it all on the second or so pass.
I’ve yet to see a stated scientific correct way to wipe.
Which way do you do it?
Male, roll to the left, two passes down, one (or more) passes up until clean. If possible, the last pass is with a wetwipe, because hair tends to trap…stuff.
I can’t tell you how happy I am that you started this thread! It is a subject I have often wondered about.
I’m a girl, so I was of course taught to wipe front to back only. (Roll left and wipe with right, even though I’m left-handed in most other endeavors. Repeat with fresh or folded-over paper until clean.)
My husband scrubs back and forth, which I find disgusting. To me, it’s the same kind of smearing around the OP referenced. Ick.
I use the modifed forward lean and hover, it allows me to spread the cheeks with my left hand and wipe, back to front, with my right. I used 3 carefully folded wads of paper, the first 2 are used once, the third twice with a fold after the first stroke. The brownage on the final wipe determines if a moist wipe is required. At work we are supplied with John Wayne toilet paper, I use as much as necessary to get clean. Sometimes it may required a preemptive flush to prevent plugging the toilet.
:eek: :eek: :eek:
Can I ask how some of you know how other people wipe?
Do you observe them, or is this part of your daily conversation? 'Cause it’s something I might disclose as I belly up to the bar for a fifth beer, but not so much over dinner or TV discussion.
Contrary to popular opinion, I do not use a ladle…
I’m a horizontal limited-motion frantic wiper. I’m like a metronome on speed. Not to be weird or anything, but wiping after a good shit is probably one of my main joys in life.
Back of sack, & right up the crack. Repeat until paper comes back white.
4(a). If more than 3 or 4 paper wads are necessary, flush preemptively. I’ve backed up enough toilets in my day that I’m all about the preemptive flush.
4(b). Only one swipe per paper wad, unless the remaining smear is minimal enough that I can do a foldover & use the same wad. Never multiple swipes with the same messy surface. That’s worse than double-dipping your chip in the salsa.
What’s with all the rolling and front to back business? Does this mean that most people actually remain seated while wiping? I stand up, in either a squat or pleia position.
I love this forum. This is the second time I’ve posted this;
I say and maintain, that of all torcheculs, arsewisps, bumfodders, tail-napkins, bunghole cleansers, and wipe-breeches, there is none in the world comparable to the neck of a goose, that is well downed, if you hold her head betwixt your legs. And believe me therein upon mine honour, for you will thereby feel in your nockhole a most wonderful pleasure, both in regard of the softness of the said down and of the temporate heat of the goose, which is easily communicated to the bum-gut and the rest the inwards, in so far as to come even to the regions of the heart and brains.
I’m not gonna answer the OP, but I do need to share the fact that I was accosted just yesterday by a … one hesitates to use a word like “gentleman” given what follows, but still … gentleman at the sinks after I had been taking care of my business. He said (no joke): “I noticed that you seemed to be having some problems cleaning yourself.”
:o
He then proceeded to share with me how in his culture (turns out he’s Iranian), they use a little hose that is attached to the plumbing … anyway. The whole time I’m just trying to get washed and dried and on my way.
For the record, this is why every business establishment in the world should be required to have separate public bathrooms and staff bathrooms.
