Worst Song Lyrics

A poll done for the BBC6 Music’s Marc Riley Show picked the ten worst verses in pop songs.

Naturally, because it was the BBC, the winners were overwhelmingly British. And no rap.

Can we do better? Er, worser?

I want to know why I’m seeing an ad in this thread that says “DEMOCRATS SUCK, they take our money and our values.”

These days I think “Hollaback Girl” has the stupidest lyrics ever written. I don’t know if there’s a single verse that stands out, though, it’s an overall thing.

Yeah, that’s a really stupid lyric.

Ahem:

The “War Pigs” masses-masses rhyme really bothers me too for some reason. But “Champagne Supernova” is a classic!

Two words: Muskrat Love.

There’s also Paul McCartney’s song Let 'Em In whose lyrics are so incredibly banal, a comedian once suggested he wrote it on a dare to prove he could put catchy music and make a hit single out of anything at all:

Someone’s knockin’ at the door
Somebody’s ringing the bell
Do me a favor, open the door
And let 'em in

Are pretty much the entire song’s lyrics, repeated in refrains, with a list of guests’ names inserted at one or two points. (Seriously!)

And unfortunately, it is kind of catchy, so I occasionally have this song come up on my “mental jukebox” even though I haven’t heard it in years. Arrgh!

Point of order - are lyrics from the Eurovison Song Contest allowed?

I can remember a lot of stupid lyrics from my teens, once a Whitesnake fan and all, but come to think of it, lines like “all you girls better lift up you skirts and run, cause I aim to shoot my pistol and fire like a gatling gun”, still makes me smile (reluctantly of course), and so I find that I really can’t recall the really bad lyrics I’ve heard over the years, thank god, only the rock dumb.

I would say though that Sheryl Crow aint no genius.

And while being thankful to you, Exapno Mapcase, for posting the top ten, much amusing and lol, I feel that 7 to 10 aint that bad (within its context etc) and as such a bit disappointing read.

As sung by Geddy Lee:

“Tried to understand the white man’s fears
Make 'em bend but they wouldn’t yield
Uncle Sam’s time is only a greased wheel
Feel the way I feel
Bust the busters, screw the feeders
Make the healers
Feel the way I feel…”

Max Webster and Rush - Battlescar (lyrics by Pye Dubois)

These lyrics support the theory that some words just sound good when strung together, and sung convincingly, but they don’t mean anything. Because that verse is just mindless drivel. Isn’t it?

“So they headed down to-oo-oo El Paso,
I swear they got into a big hassle,
Billy Joe shot a man while robbin’ his castle
Bobbie Sue took the money and run”

(Hoo hoo hoo)

“Billy Mack was detective down in Texas
You know he knows exactly what the facts is
He ain’t gonna let those two escape justice
He makes his livin’ off other people’s taxes”

Crappiest lyrics I ever heard.

(Hoo hoo hoo)

I already posted this once in a similar thread, but I’ll do it again:

I understand you’ve been running from the man that goes by the name of the sandman
He flieses the sky like an eagle in the eye of a hurricane that’s abandoned

America - “Sandman”

Only slightly edges out their debut hit, “Horse with No Name:”

*I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain’t no one for to give you no pain
La, la … *

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

And I second “Let E’m In,” although I don’t find it at all catchy.

Check it out now:

No one’s mentioned, “Every day a little sadder, A little madder,
Someone get me a ladder?”

*Still, you turn me on * by Emerson, Lake and Palmer

I did it all for the nookie
The nookie
So you can take that cookie
And stick it up your ass.

Years ago, Dave Barry asked readers to send him their votes for horrible songs and the resulting torrent seems to have surprised even him, both in volume of mail received and vitriol expressed.

Here’s a book. Audio book, no less!

Oh I definitely agree with the choice of Toto’s tongue-twisting:
Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti

One of my favorites that I always post to similar threads is Mark Dinning’s “Teen Angel” (yes about a dead teenager. Songs such as this were really popular in the late 1950’s and early 1960’s)

Teen Angel last verse

Just sweet sixteen, and now you’re gone
They’ve taken you away.
I’ll never kiss your lips again
They buried you today

Supposedly, that was written for comic effect but I prefer to think that they were dead-on serious with that song. :slight_smile:

I never minded this verse, even though it’s frequently cited as an example of bad lyrics, presumably because people think Miller unsuccessfully tried to rhyme “Facts is” with “Texas.” But that’s not the case - “facts is” is supposed to rhyme with “Taxes,” and “Texas” and “Justice” don’t need to rhyme with each other because the last word still completes a rhyming couplet, albeit an unconventional one.

I always thought that verse was okay because it’s stupid-funny.

The problem with that theory is that the other verses have a rhyming triplet. There’s a rhyme in this verse, but it seems jarring.

Verse 1: “Sue” rhymes with “do,” “tube” and "loose

Verse 2: “El Paso,” “hassle” “castle”

So in verse 3, you expect “Texas” to rhyme with “facts is” and “justice.” My feeling is that Miller couldn’t make it rhyme and made a joke out of it. It’s a pretty good one.

And verse 4 has “away” “day” “hey” “away” and “today”

To me, it’s bad because it seems like a non sequitur.

  1. He’s a detective.
  2. He’s from Texas
  3. He 's going to catch the crooks.

4.His paycheck is provided by the taxpayers.

It just seems irrelevant to me.