I'm Budding (TMI)

[Odesio]

I'm budding, and I don't mean that I'm growing into a better person or blossoming into womanhood, what I mean is that I'm budding in the biological sense that a new organism is being formed from a protrusion on my back. At first I thought it was a zit and I was looking foward to popping it with great zeal once a good head had formed. Alas it has grown to such titanic proportions that I dare not pop out of fear that it will take it's revenge on me. Besides, it's forming up quite nicely and I'm pretty sure I see the beginnings of a face. Leigh doesn't believe me but I can swear the little bastard winked at me.

I would have named the little tyke Bud, because I don't get very creative with names, but that is the nickname of our dog Buddy. I don't want to coo "hey Bud" at my new child only to have my dog run up to me expecting a treat or a pet. No, I fear my new child and would not wish to draw his jealous attention towards my dog lest he harm poor Buddy. Marc Jr., would seem to be a fine name, I've certainly been called a flaming boil on the ass of life many times, but since this new growth isn't on my ass I don't think I shall share my Christian name with it. So I have decided to name him Priam, for I hope to fervently catch him in his sleep and strike him down with a sword or another pointed object, I only have to bide my time.

Already I hear him mewling for food. My word, they grow up so fast; don't they?

Marc

[Ms. Pumpkin]

I...um...congratulations?

[Least Original User Name Ever]

You know, it's been a while since we had one of these threads. I think we're going to clamor for pictures soon.

By the way, I had a zit on my ass that woke me up in the middle of the night a couple of nights ago. That's right, Miss Squash, be turned on. Be VERY turned on.

[BoBettie]

Congratulations! It's a Manitou!

http://imdb.com/title/tt0077904/

"Yes, the story about a fetus growing on a woman's back and then becoming a four foot Indian ripping his way out of a tumor the size of basketball stretches the line of credibility. This pint-sized spirit has amazing powers as he can literally freeze an entire hospital ward, call forth the devil himself, and take the skin off of people's bodies through his mind."

I'm so jealous!

[Litoris]

Hmmmm....just gotta love how the ads go so well with the thread -- "Bushism Ringtones". Guess the line

flaming boil on the ass of life

gave it away?

[Wile E]

I thought this was going to be about yeast.

[Dunawake]

The only image I'm getting right now is the creation of Bad Ash from Army of Darkness.

[Odesio]

You'll be happy to know that little Priam turned out to be a homunculus, a creature that's identical to me except that he's 12 inches high. Now if only I could find out where he ran off to.

Marc

[Wile E]

Originally Posted by MGibson

You'll be happy to know that little Priam turned out to be a homunculus, a creature that's identical to me except that he's 12 inches high. Now if only I could find out where he ran off to.

Marc

Did you send him off to get vengeance on someone who wronged you?

[Larry Borgia]

I'll risk a whoosh and ask if you've seen a doctor about this.

[Count Blucher]

Originally Posted by MGibson

You'll be happy to know that little Priam turned out to be a homunculus, a creature that's identical to me except that he's 12 inches high. Now if only I could find out where he ran off to.

Marc

You never should have let him see that E*Bay posting:

"For Sale: MGibson homunculus action figure. Comes with GI Joe weapons, He-Man sword and slightly used Malibu Barbie. Extra Barbie dresses not included."

[Autolycus]

I thought this was about a sebaceous cyst. Homunculi are cool too though. You a Full Metal Alchemist fan?

[Dunawake]

Originally Posted by Autolycus

I thought this was about a sebaceous cyst. Homunculi are cool too though. You a Full Metal Alchemist fan?

Unless he's been trying to resurrect people, I doubt it's that.

[Odesio]

Originally Posted by Larry Borgia

I'll risk a whoosh and ask if you've seen a doctor about this.

It was just a really big zit as it's completely gone now that I've popped it. I was astounded by the sheer immensity of it and I just felt the need to log on and share it with all of you.

No, I'm not a Full Metal Alchemist fan, but you don't play Dungeons and Dragons for as long as I have without learning what a holunculus is.

Marc

[Larry Borgia]

That's good. I was worried about skin cancer.

[Terrifel]

I have a small fingerlike structure protruding from my lower back. What is it doing there? Nothing much, so far as I have been able to discern. However, it's not in a position where I can observe it directly with any degree of fine detail, so it could be doing weird stuff all the time and I'd have no idea.

Vestigial organ? Specialized anatomical structure designed to activate under conditions of extreme environmental duress? Could I be the forerunner of a new, more highly evolved human race? If so, humanity's legacy may be in dire jeopardy, because I am just not getting the amount of loving necessary to sustain the species.

Attention, ladies? Back finger here!

[PoorYorick]

Originally Posted by Terrifel

I have a small fingerlike structure protruding from my lower back.

You have a tail! Cool!

[Autolycus]

Originally Posted by Terrifel

Attention, ladies? Back finger here!

Bringing the 'cowgirl position' a whole new level of fun

[Cowboy8467]

Originally Posted by PoorYorick

You have a tail! Cool!

Heh heh. Perhaps he can wag it like Jason Alexander in Shallow Hal

[gigi]

Originally Posted by MGibson

It was just a really big zit as it's completely gone now that I've popped it.

And you didn't take pictures first? Or a video during?

[Terrifel]

Originally Posted by PoorYorick

You have a tail! Cool!

It's not a "tail!" I'm perfectly capable of distinguishing between a tail and an anomalous back finger, thank you very much. And I assure you, the mystery of the back finger simply cannot be encompassed by your needlessly reductionistic analysis: "You have a tail!" The back finger urges you to tear down the boundaries of your perception, man.

Although, granted, a tail would be cool too. I certainly don't intend to dismiss the coolness of tailed people by any means. And if it's easier for all the fine ladies to relate to the "tail" concept, then the back finger is comfortable with that.

[Omegaman]

Originally Posted by Terrifel

It's not a "tail!" I'm perfectly capable of distinguishing between a tail and an anomalous back finger, thank you very much. And I assure you, the mystery of the back finger simply cannot be encompassed by your needlessly reductionistic analysis: "You have a tail!" The back finger urges you to tear down the boundaries of your perception, man.

Although, granted, a tail would be cool too. I certainly don't intend to dismiss the coolness of tailed people by any means. And if it's easier for all the fine ladies to relate to the "tail" concept, then the back finger is comfortable with that.

Whatever it is get a tattoo on it! I'll bet the artist would do it free because he would think you're a pretty cool person having an appendage and all!

Oh, and Marc , sorry it was only a zit. What a disappointment.

[dogbutler]

Originally Posted by Terrifel

I have a small fingerlike structure protruding from my lower back. What is it doing there? Nothing much, so far as I have been able to discern. However, it's not in a position where I can observe it directly with any degree of fine detail, so it could be doing weird stuff all the time and I'd have no idea.

Vestigial organ? Specialized anatomical structure designed to activate under conditions of extreme environmental duress? Could I be the forerunner of a new, more highly evolved human race? If so, humanity's legacy may be in dire jeopardy, because I am just not getting the amount of loving necessary to sustain the species.

Attention, ladies? Back finger here!

I had something like that on my right cheek.

And now for something different, a doper with three buttocks.

[Mehitabel]

STREWTH!!

[Least Original User Name Ever]

Originally Posted by Terrifel

It's not a "tail!" I'm perfectly capable of distinguishing between a tail and an anomalous back finger, thank you very much. And I assure you, the mystery of the back finger simply cannot be encompassed by your needlessly reductionistic analysis: "You have a tail!" The back finger urges you to tear down the boundaries of your perception, man.

Although, granted, a tail would be cool too. I certainly don't intend to dismiss the coolness of tailed people by any means. And if it's easier for all the fine ladies to relate to the "tail" concept, then the back finger is comfortable with that.

Get a picture, kind sir. I'd like to see this extra finger.

[Terrifel]

Originally Posted by Least Original User Name Ever

Get a picture, kind sir. I'd like to see this extra finger.

You and me both. It's my back, after all; sadly, experience has proven that no arrangement of mirrors is adequate to provide a clear view of the area in question.

I tend to suspect that the cordial relations with my little circle of personal acquaintances and co-workers would almost certainly not survive the request: "Please photograph my back finger."

However, this thread has renewed my optimism. Once the back finger starts luring in the women, surely at least one of them will bring a camera along to document the proceedings.

[Autolycus]

If I'm ever by "The left side of the door," I'll sacrifice my visual cortex for the greater good of the Dope

[Boulter's Canary]

I have a lump on the back of my neck. My doctor tells me it's a lipoma but I know it's a second head......

[slaphead]

I think the name you're looking for is Kuato. I had a massive zit on my (shiny and extensive) forehead some time ago, and that is what my colleagues decided to name it.

[PoorYorick]

Until I had it removed, I had a sebaceous cyst on my forehead that strongly resembled one of those budding horns you see on calves. What made this particularly unfortunate was that at the time I worked at a pscychiatric hospital for children. Like most children, they didn't have a strong sense of personal boundries and all of them just wanted to touch it. Yep, I was quite the celebrity for a while.

So now I know a little bit how "Bizarro the Devil Child" at the carnival freak show feels.

[gigi]

Originally Posted by Boulter's Canary

I have a lump on the back of my neck. My doctor tells me it's a lipoma but I know it's a second head......

Maybe it's a canary head! That would be cool.

[Boulter's Canary]

Originally Posted by gigi

Maybe it's a canary head! That would be cool.

As long as it can sing...