Over there…no, not that. There, to the left of that. Yeah, that thing over there. What the hell is that?? 
I don’t know what the hell that thing is.
But here’s my camera - get a shot of me with it!
I can’t tell you what it is, but I can tell what it isnt:
this.
Biff Tannen:
“He said, 'one day a teenage punk or crazy scientist is gonna come looking for this. And when he does…” (points gun at Marty)
Marty McFly:
“You’re forgetting one thing Biff. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!” (points)
(Biff turns around)
(Marty throws metal disc with spikes at Biff)
Oh, I know what that is. It’s a…
What the hell is that?
Sorry, did I disturb you guys, I was just practicing naked kundalini tantric yoga.
Oh God. I’m so embarassed. I didn’t even realize I’d lost it. Oh wait, nope, not mine. Mine is more of a muave and less ungulate…
I don’t know what it is, but I do know that it would be best if we were to silently slip away, and hope that it doesn’t notice us.
Too late… I just peed on it.
It’s a snipe. You go down there, and crouch down with your gunny sack, calling “Here snipe, snipe, snipe.” The rest of us will swing around to the other side and try to scare him towards you, ok?
It’s a belt.
I know it looks like a dried swordfish, but I’m telling you straight out, it’s a belt.
I think Steve Martin had one of those.
Well, in that case…
RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
“Come closer, and I’ll tell you.”
:looks around secretly:
“You’re never going to believe this, but it’s a…”
BANG!
<gasp> “It’s a…a…a…” <gurgle>
:dies a martyr’s death:
After you peed on it, my dog dragged it out into the back yard and buried it. So you don’t have to worry anymore. It’s gone.
Did the dog bury it under that disturbed mound over there?
The mound that just moved?
I’m afraid it must be one of mine then, cause it’s back. 
Well, we know it’s not an almond in the mound, otherwise it would be an Almond Joy!
Yes, my Bippy is definitely more ungulate. And Beardier.
Nice cross post, though.
And speaking of mounds…
Those. Aren’t. Nipples.
RUN!!!